Depression&torahs perspective&helpful ideas

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  • #617968

    I was just curious about the torahs view of depression and tips.I don’t know if I have it but I am very down lately-stress and all. (F,18) any good tips on how to feel happy and motivated again. Also any jobs in Brooklyn open to graduate lemme know.

    Thanks to my brothers and sisters lots of love

    #1169933

    shlepper
    Participant

    Spend a complete Shabbos with a group that have experienced the beauty and eloquence of Shabbos Kodesh. If that is not realistic in the near future, contact your local Chabad house and invite yourself for the coming Shabbos.

    Kol tuv and a Good Shabbos!

    #1169934

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    I am sorry, that is the worst piece of advice Ive ever heard on this board

    Depression is not just feeling sad, its a real medical condition that is not “cured” by a shabbos.

    I dont know if the OP is suffering from a real chemical imbalance or is just overwhelmed and nobody else here does either. You need to seek professional help and find out which it is.

    #1169935

    I am very overwhelmed and by the way I do have a therapist but im looking for torah perspective

    #1169936

    yichusdik
    Participant

    Seek professional help. If you need to, research a bit to find a Frum Dr., psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker in your area.

    Then, when you have a derech to treatment and recovery, It would likely be a wonderful thing to spend a shabbos in a welcoming, non pressure and non judgemental environment. And Chabad (or another chasidus) might be the right place to do that.

    #1169937

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    The proper torah perspective is to seek professional help, just like you would if you broke your arm.

    #1169938

    the proper torah perspective is to have faith & trust in Hashem that everything will work out & that everything is for the good & then the depression will be removed from you (once it becomes a part of you that your situation is for the good you will realize there is no reason to be depressed no matter what the cause of depression is)

    Hatzlacha

    #1169939

    mythoughts
    Participant

    Just to add to what yichusdik suggested. Studies have shown that exercise in combination with therapy and medication yields the best results. Hatzalacha

    #1169940

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    the proper torah perspective is to have faith & trust in Hashem that everything will work out & that everything is for the good & then the depression will be removed from you (once it becomes a part of you that your situation is for the good you will realize there is no reason to be depressed no matter what the cause of depression is)

    Would you say that if you R’L had cancer, Mental illness is as much a disease as cancer is and can be as deadly

    #1169941

    shlepper
    Participant

    Chachamim!

    We do not know the exact condition of the op. Possibly she just needs a little uplift and she will be ok. Don’t you think that the Rabbi and Rebbetzin of her local Chabad house would know how to advise her after meeting her?

    How silly it is to recommend therapy to someone you haven’t met, and by doing so giving that person an unintended condition.

    #1169942

    Mashiach agent– and you claim to be a therapist????????

    How much blood is on your hands?

    #1169943

    charliehall
    Participant

    The Torah perspective, as elucidated by Rav Sherirah Gaon a thousand years ago and agreed to by all halachic authorities since, is that medical conditions such as depression should be treated by people trained in medicine.

    Good luck to you in your recovery!

    #1169944

    Ad

    YES is what I say.

    May you start working on yourself on your bitachon and emunah (faith and trust) in Hashem so that worry and depression is removed from your life. For one who puts his/her trust in Hashem lacks nothing that is good (tehillim 34)

    How fortunate and blessed am I to be such a happy and grateful person to Hashem for every tiny thing Hashem has given me and continues to give me.

    I’m allergic to the word worry cause it’s a contradiction to yiddishkeit and faith and trust in Hashem, based on what’s written above.

    A person has a right to be “concerned or nervous” in certain situations but to be “worried” is a contradiction to yiddishkeit

    Start to have a daily learning Seder of Chovos Halevavos and change your life to a happy and worry free life

    #1169945

    lesschumras
    Participant

    MA,your pie in the sky advice does nothing for chemical imbalance!

    #1169946

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It is not biologically possible to completely avoid worry.

    #1169947

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Avoiding happy things because it’s just a chemical imbalance anyway also doesn’t help.

    #1169948

    Reb yidd

    a)nothing is impossible

    b)i cannot remember the last time i was ever “worried” over something,

    “Hakol b’dei shomayim chutz m’yiras shomayim” with this being the truth a person does not have a reason to be worried if he really believes the fact above-which we all know is the truth. & if he is worried he has just showed Hashem that he does not believe that Hashem runs the world.

    you can be “concerned or nervous” where your child is when its getting late etc… but being “worried” is a pure lack of trust in Hashem & saying straight to Hashem i don’t trust that Hashem runs the world the best/right way & that is a contradiction to yiddishkeit. open up a sefer Orchos Tzaddikim & read the chapter on Worry so you can get the full details of what it really means.

    Hatzlacha

    #1169949

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    if he is worried he has just showed Hashem that he does not believe that Hashem runs the world.

    So if the rent is overdue and you cant pay and you are about to get evicted with your 5 children and you dont know what to do. Worrying is assur because it shows that you dont belive in hashem because you 2 month old infant wont have a crib to sleep on tonite

    #1169950

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    A person who is nervous has a tendency toward anxiousness, while worry is more of a temporary state of anxiousness. Worrying too much is bad, but a little bit helps to prepare for the future. If worry didn’t exist, humans wouldn’t avoid things that cause bad stuff to happen in the future.

    #1169951

    I think so
    Participant

    Do as many mood enhancers as you can. Firstly, a good nights sleep “consistently” will enhance your mood. Going to sleep with relaxing music playing will help your mind be in a positive and restful state as you sleep. Secondly, exercise produces endorphins that is a mood enhancer. Thirdly, if I remember correctly, the Rambam in Shmoneh Perakim says viewing nice scenery helps improve the mood. It’s also worth knowing if you are having a specific thought or way of thinking that is causing it then CBT is something that can guide you to improve your way of thinking. Going to a therapist, should be goal oriented, which CBT is. Finally, helping others and improving their lives brings alot of satisfaction and happiness to yourself.

    #1169952

    zd

    every person is responsible to do their hishtadlus in life & is also forbidden to rely on miracles.

    when a person is running on a tight budget C”V there are a few things he should IMMEDIATELY do.

    1)turn & daven-from your heart with feeling-straight to Hashem for help (you can daven in English also if it will have meaning versus tehillim & not knowing what the person is saying)

    2)make a Cheshbon Hanefesh & ask yourself why would this test-of shortage of money-be put upon you? (if its not a punishment, then the person is obviously holding at that level of faith of being tested with money loss versus sicknesses or worse tragedies C”V) REMINDER: YOU are put in this world to be tested in your faith & each test you pass brings you closer to Hashem & also raises you to the next higher/harder test & if a person was not able to pass the test then Hashem does not put him into this tight money test of Faith, so no one can ask why did Hashem do this to me?

    3)immediately look for another or additional job-even if not enjoyable for a future-versus poor & embarrassment with accepting money etc…

    May noone ever be put into this situation. i.e. give maaser & additional tzedaka to the poor & you will never be put into this tight money issues. A person is given a guarantee straight from Hashem in the torah that if he gives Maaaser he will never need to accept poor mans money.

    HATZLACHA

    #1169953

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Therapy was extremely beneficial to me I am a completely different person than i was before it and all for the better its about being honest about what is really wrong in your life and knowing you are the one that can make it better much hatzlacha.

    #1169954

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    ZD and Charlie,

    What is absolutely criminal is that you two clearly incompetents are diagnosing someone with clinical depression based on one sentence. One sentence, that I may add, does not have indicators of clinical depression.

    Clinical depression is an illness, feeling down at times is not.

    You don’t put someone on heavy medications just for feeling down or upset at times. That is part of normal human range of emotions.

    #1169956

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Some need to properly read the thread instead of being a troll all the time

    I dont know if the OP is suffering from a real chemical imbalance or is just overwhelmed and nobody else here does either. You need to seek professional help and find out which it is.

    #1169957

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Going to therapy doesn’t automatically mean you will be on meds but if the DOCTOR thinks you should be then what is wrong with that? i was on meds and I still take one for social anxiety I might not even need it anymore but it works for me.

    #1169958

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    There can be complications for females on certain medications. Be careful.

    #1169959

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    ZD,

    1) Cant you write your own posts without having a moderator write it for you?

    I try to extend the same editing courtesy to him that I do for you

    2) It is an appropriate comment when you initial screed was “this is the worst advice ever”. Which is untrue.

    #1169961

    blubluh
    Participant

    Caveat: This isn’t intended as a substitute for professional treatment.

    I found this translation of the Rambam’s introduction to his perush on Mishnaos Avos:

    #1169962

    yichusdik
    Participant

    Nisht, professional help doesn’t automatically mean medication. It could just as easily be counselling, better sleep, more exercise. It depends on the diagnosis. What is Irresponsible, and what ZD and Charlie were trying to illluminate, is to tell someone not to seek a diagnosis at all.

    #1169963

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    I don’t believe anyone was saying not to seek help when neccesary.

    However, feeling down at one point does not mean that professional help is neccesary and doing something cheerful can work fine. M

    It is when the depression is lingering or interferes with leading life, even if it feels that way that outside help is warranted.

    But a suggestion to do some something calming or enjoyable is not the worst advice ever.

    And it is arrogant to make such a comment.

    And I am not talking without having known people who were suffering mental illness and needed professional help.

    #1169964

    TheGoq
    Participant

    I think what ticked off ZD and irritated me as well was the assumption that if your depressed you must be at risk there is no connection to clinical depression and lack of emunah its a disease treat it as such.

    #1169965

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    How is depression any less a lack of emunah than psoriasis is?

    #1169966

    Omg thank you all for your wonderful ideas.so btw I do go to a therapist like I said at some point and she didn’t tell me I have depression but due to many traumas and abuses in my life I have anxiety (she said I don’t neede medication ). All of you gave fabulous ideas I keep rereading them to see how I can implement them.thanks all of u (the only thing that I probably can’t do is the chabad rabbi thing…..)

    #1169967

    kapusta
    Participant

    Hi SGG,

    I’m not sure how long you’ve been seeing your therapist, but have you/are you comfortable discussing this with her?

    #1169968

    shlepper
    Participant

    A gut voch, Sadgirlygirl.

    How was Shabbos?

    #1169969

    Sparkly
    Member

    sadgirlygirl – i have the same issue. i think its because no matter how much i love college i feel like i dont go out into the world enough to enjoy myself. dont even have enough time to read a book. i love shiurim but dont get to go to as many as i want. etc…

    #1169970

    gofish
    Member

    MA, do you give this advice to your patients?

    #1169971

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sadgirlygirl – I have heard that reading Chovos Halevavos Shaar Habitachon can be very helpful for depression. The first time I read it, I found it to be a real eye-opener, and I think it can be very helpful, although you might need other things as well. You can find it in english.

    I also find that developing a good support system and social life as well as getting fresh air and sunshine and taking walks (in the fresh air and sunshine) can be very helpful. Getting enough sleep is CRUCIAL! I believe that I read that when people complained to Rav Avigdor Miller about depression, he said that the first thing you need to do is to make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night and that will cure most problems.

    Getting enough to eat also helps. And a little bit of chocolate doesn’t hurt either!

    Basically, the most important thing is to take care of oneself through sleep, rest, eating properly, exercise, fresh air and sunshine, social life and Ruchnius.

    Hatzlacha Rabba! Please keep us updated on how it goes and what helped (if you want to)

    #1169973

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Sadgirlygirl: My LOR supports my mental health treatment, including medications. When it came to “complications for females,” my physicians are well-versed in managing treatments for the best interests of all parties.

    There is nothing to fear, except for who? Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu. So take care of yourself; pikuach nefesh is your #1. Hashem will help you work out the details. Seek medical help. You can decide what is next based on what’s the healthiest option for your needs. Hashem gave doctors the power to heal. Never let anyone prevent you from #1. That’s Torah.

    #1169974

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    @sadgirlygirl: I don’t think you are depressed, perhaps you are just a teenager. Although a lot of people have their “teen moods” till 18, I know plenty or people who get them till their early 20’s I also know of people who finished them at 16/17 while got them as young as 10.

    Some of the things I do when I’m in a rut is I will do the things I love. What is something you love to do? A sport? Dancing? Art? Make it a priority to take classes, make time for it, etc.

    It also helps to find out what your way of expression is. Some people express themselves through writing, art, talking, dancing. I personally express myself best when singing. Once you find that one thing that just makes you feel like you are expressing your truest self, you will feel better too.

    Another thing is to give yourself time to calm down, wind down, and internalize things going on in your life. During the day, and before bed make time to just be alone, breathe, think with yourself, get a coffee. Let life slow down a bit.

    Good Luck!

    #1169975

    Abba_S
    Participant

    Try eating comfort food such as ice cream. If this doesn’t pick up your spirits you may need professional help. Do not self medicate through drugs or alcohol. Speak to your rabbi or doctor, they may better advise you. Therapist will help you understand your problem but wouldn’t cure you as they want you to continue coming as a patient.

    If you want a Torah solution then you should consult a rabbi. Many times your goals are set to high and you feel that you are not succeeding as well as others. Or maybe g-d wants you to succeed in another field.

    #1169976

    Softwords
    Participant

    Sadgirlygirl – I don’t know if it’s too late to add to this, but I thought I’d add just in case it’s still relevant.

    First of all, going to get medical help depends on whether depression is a regular thing with you and/or if it is triggered by events or can happen without cause, not to mention that severity plays a role as well.

    Assuming, base on the info you gave, that you are not suffering major depression, but rather want to know how to deal with normal depression based on the Torah, here are some suggestion what to look up.

    Orchos Tzadikim – Shaar Simcha and Shaar Daagah

    Pele Yoetz – Atzvut and Simcha (Interesting enough he ends Atzvut by talking about those who suffer from chronic depression and he states that books are not enough to help them and that they “need” to take medication. Here you have proof that taking medicine for such conditions is a Torah requirement and nothing to be ashamed of for those that need. Of course, proper evaluation is needed.)

    Gateway to Happiness, R. Pliskin – you may need to turn to a Torah library to get this as I’m not sure if it is still in print. Excellent Sefer in English.

    WITH THAT SAID I THINK YOU BROUGHT OUT A VERY IMPORTANT TOPIC FOR RABBANIM TO START TALKING ABOUT. I SEE NO REASON WHY RABBANIM SHOULD NOT START TEACHING THESE TOPICS TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC. PERHAPS PEOPLE SHOULD START REQUESTING FROM RESPECTED SPEAKERS TO START ADDING THIS TO THEIR LECTURES.

    THANKS Sadgirlygirl FOR BRING UP THE TOPIC!!!

    🙂

    #1169977

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – i want to stop being depressed without having to go into spirituality but i will read the book anyways since i like reading and especially Jewish books.

    #1169978

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – I think you will like this. I heard a story about a college professor whose student came to speak to him. The student told him that he is very depressed. The professor gave him a copy of Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart), Shaar Habitachon (Gate of Trust) and suggested he read it. He made sure to add that this wasn’t necessarily meant to take the place of therapy. The student read it and made a full recovery.

    Basically, it helps you realize how much Hashem loves you and how important you are. I think the root of depression is often a lack of a realization of one’s own importance.

    #1169979

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – my not jewish professor wont be handing me one of those books.

    #1169980

    its against yiddishkeit to be depressed for it is a direct act of lack of faith in Hashem thus questioning Hashem on the event that has caused you depression. we all know the famous fact about yidishkeit “the good & the bad is all for the good: i.e. everything Hashem does is for the good. the question you need to ask yourself is: where are you holding in your Bitachon & emunah in Hashem? (faith & trust) if you have bitachon in Hashem then you will never question Hashems acts & ALWAYS know %100 that its for the good. if someone questions our father Hashem, he is basically saying that he knows better then Hashem & does not agree with what our loving father did…. & that is a contradiction to yiddishkeit/judaism.

    make yourself a daily learning time of sefer Chovos Halevovos (duties of the heart)

    #1169981

    Sparkly
    Member

    Mashiach Agent – its VERY HARD to think like that.

    #1169982

    It won’t be hard once it becomes part of your life and you know Chovos Halevavos well. As we all should

    #1169983

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – Chovos Halevavos isn’t written that way, it’s not preachy, it just makes you feel good about yourself and that Hashem cares about you.

    #1169984

    Meno
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent,

    You’re saying someone shouldn’t be depressed because it’s against the Torah?

    I hope you don’t tell your clients that. That’s such a horrible thing to say, and a horrible way to treat depression.

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