Driving With Popa

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  • #601586

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Since you are all the second word of my current subtitle, I have decided to tell you some of my secrets for driving.

    In this first post, I will address the Triboro (RFK) and Whitestone Bridges, which should not really exist.

    To travel from Long Island (Queens, Brooklyn) to the Bronx or Westchester without paying tolls, do this:

    1. Take one of the free East River bridges to Manhattan. (Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg, 59th Street Bridges)

    2. Take FDR north past the Triboro (RFK) to the small “Willis Avenue Bridge” which crosses the Harlem River and is free. Or, the 3rd avenue, or Madison Avenue, or 145th Street, or Macombs Dam Bridge, or Washington Bridge (by 181st), or W Fordham Road, or Broadway.

    3. There is no step 3; there are only two steps. And you still couldn’t figure it out.

    More brilliance to come, sometime.

    #928944

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    One word answer:

    traffic

    #928945

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Popa, that’s the Kuntz? Let me see you get from New Jersey to Brooklyn without paying toll (or a fine).

    #928946

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Let me see you get from New Jersey to Brooklyn without paying toll (or a fine).

    Easy.

    Take the Dunn Memorial Bridge. Then go south until you do my trick above in reverse by taking 3rd avenue bridge to manhattan, and brooklyn bridge to brooklyn. Stop off in the Brooklyn Marriott on your way across to daven maariv with all the guys on dates.

    #928947

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    One word answer:

    traffic

    Of course there is more traffic. That is because everybody goes that way.

    I once had a summer job, and there was a major highway which went right there, but had terrible traffic. So I spent the first month trying different ways to get home quicker. Then I realized what all those people on the highway already knew: that it was the fastest way to go.

    Sometimes you think you are being a chochom, but it pays to watch what other people are doing. “Everyone else” is usually correct.

    #928948

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Note: You cannot take the willis avenue bridge from bronx to manhattan, because of construction.

    #928949

    BTGuy
    Participant

    See what all that caffeine does.

    Somehow I picture you driving in fast forward. lol

    #928950

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Dunn Memorial Bridge? As in the one in Albany?

    #928951

    littleapple
    Member

    popa Dunn Memorial Bridge

    What & where is this?

    #928952

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dunn Memorial Bridge

    What & where is this?

    It is the southernmost Hudson River crossing without a toll. Yitayningwut points out that it is near Albany, New York.

    Alternatively, you could take the Bear Mountain Bridge, which is one dollar, and is a couple miles closer.

    #928953

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Of course there is more traffic. That is because everybody goes that way.

    Because they’re cheap, not because they’re in a hurry.

    You reminded me, by the way, of Yogi Berra’s comment that nobody goes to a certain restaurant anymore, because it’s always too crowded.

    #928954

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Okay, so I’ll revise HaLeiVi’s question:

    Let me see you get from New Jersey to Brooklyn without paying toll (or a fine) – and without paying six times the amount for gas!

    #928955

    efsherPUNKTfarkert
    Participant

    only MILDLY Retarted???????????

    #928956

    squeak
    Participant

    Toll on 87 buddy, unless you plan on riding local streets down from the Dunn.

    The traffic on the free East River bridges and FDR that you will encounter isn’t people doing your route. You are the only one going that way because any chochom will pay the toll and do the direct route. Sorry.

    #928957

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Let me see you get from New Jersey to Brooklyn without paying toll (or a fine) – and without paying six times the amount for gas!

    Anyone could do that. The shtick is to bring your car with you.

    #928958

    littleapple
    Member

    yitay: Park in Jersey City take the water taxi to downtown, pick up a zipcar and go over the Brooklyn bridge, how’s that?

    #928959

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant
    #928960

    squeak
    Participant

    Touche if you had stopped there. But you did yourself in with the “besides”. Only a real OOT hick redneck Rube would think that the times on google maps mean anything in NY. Now I doubt that tou’ve ever driven in NY. Its a one minute difference if you are in post apocalypse NY. Otherwise, its plus 60 minutes or more.

    #928961

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    You clearly didn’t click on the links.

    #928962

    moi aussi
    Member

    I thought the mods don’t allow outside links, but then again popa is no outsider.

    #928963

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Genius. Ul’ta’ameich just take a bus anywhere you need to go, and you never have to pay tolls while traveling.

    #928964

    Genius. Ul’ta’ameich just take a bus anywhere you need to go, and you never have to pay tolls while traveling.

    even better, take a helicopter. No tolls and much faster than a bus.

    #928965

    squeak
    Participant

    Indeed I did not click on the links. What gave it away?

    Call me arrogant if you will, but I feel that I have nothing to learn from google maps about driving in the ny metro area. I could do either route in my sleep (and I have, once).

    #928966

    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    Popa, you are soooo 2011!

    I got myself a second generation jetpack this past summer that allows me to go ANYWHERE in the quickest, cheapest, and funnest way. Why deal with traffic, gas stations, or even bridges when you can tango with the Canadian geese or drop raw eggs on churches from 1000 ft up as you leisurely glide to you destination? People who deal with cars these days, tsk tsk, I mean are you for real?! Powered skydiving is the way to go, friends.

    oh, and did I mention the view?

    #928967

    squeak
    Participant

    popa_bar_abba

    Mildly Retarded

    Since you are all the second word of my current subtitle, I have decided to tell you some of my secrets for driving.

    Request for Mods: Can you please modify popa’s subtitle again, slightly? I’m looking for something where the second word changes…. for humor’s sake in posterity. May I suggest, “Rarely Decent, Mildly Retarded and Eccentric”? It will be fun. TIA.

    #928968

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Indeed I did not click on the links. What gave it away?

    The “to” and “from” location were selectively chosen. A block or so from each of my two bridges. The times would be very different if going from Flatbush or Kew Gardens Hills.

    #928969

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    A helicopter will cost you a lot of fuel. I’d suggest using a blimp. Finding parking might be a bit of a challenge.

    #928970

    gefen
    Participant

    Nebach – I see popa is off his meds again. Refuah Shelayma.

    Squeak- thanks for your idea. Now we are all decent. I was really worried about being retarded.

    #928971

    real-brisker
    Member

    ePf – Wow! This is your second post, and your a member for 4 1/2 years!

    #928972

    WIY
    Member

    real-brisker

    I guess hes not a big talker…

    #928973

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Trick for remembering how to get to the LIE from the Queensboro Bridge.

    The problem is, that there are three places to drive on the bridge, and you need to remember how to get to the LIE from each one. That is, you can be on the upper level, lower level, or outer roadway.

    Of course, you could brute force it and just remember each one, but there is a much easier way to do it. Just remembering one klal can give you the whole thing.

    If any of you can figure it out, I will stop using any adjective of your choice on this forum, for a week.

    #928974

    real-brisker
    Member

    WIY – Or he has more than one…

    #928975

    littleapple
    Member

    pba: i drove that route frequently in the somewhat distant past but I always went thru Queens Plaza got over to the right for the beginning of Queens Blvd. but then cut right on Van Dam and sraight a few lights then under the LIE and left to the entrance.

    #928976

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    What about from the outer roadway?

    #928977

    littleapple
    Member

    I remember there was something tricky there, separate exit ramp or something, is it still like that?

    #928978

    squeak
    Participant

    lol, popa got a new subtitle. How nice of the mod to just take my suggestion like that! Thanks!

    Popa, no hard feelings I hope 🙂 I’ve had “driving in the car with popa” TTTO “Lucy in the Sky” going through my head for two days now.

    #928979

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    So I took my car to the fix it shop because it was making a funny noise which was not the hah hah kind. More like the hee hee kind.

    So I talk to the manager who is maybe arabic or maybe not and his name tag says “Wally.” So then I know that his name is anything except Wally.

    So then he tells me his name is Walleed.

    #928980

    yungerman1
    Participant

    LOL! pba- you should seriously consider doing standup comedy.. or maybe you already do? In that case, you must be….!!!

    #928981

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Thanks yungerman.

    I only do comedy on online forums. And I regularly get banned from those.

    #928982

    ED IT OR
    Participant

    hey look at the first post in here,

    thanks for the compliment!

    #928983

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    crazy: subtitle has been amended to reflect my current status, as noted in the thread. Previous cross-references have not been updated, however.

    #928984

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    In the second post on this thread, I will address the DE turnpike toll.

    The state of Delaware, is populated by bloodsuckers who specialize in producing nothing, and extracting income from the rest of the country.

    One incident of this, is the DE turnpike. While driving on I-95 between Baltimore and New York, one pays tolls to NJ and DE for use of their road.

    NJ charges a pretty normal fee for use of their road, and you pay per mile. The cost per mile if you travel the entire length is 13.85/122=0.11 cents per mile.

    The DE turnpike is 11.2 miles long, and costs 4 dollars, for a confiscatory total of 35 cents per mile.

    Luckily, the DE people are also stupid, so it is easy to avoid. Simply get off the highway on the last exit before the toll in each direction, and let your GPS reroute you to the next entrance.

    (The other example of bloodsucking is how they managed to get ever corporation to incorporate there.)

    #928985

    squeak
    Participant

    That is a perfect example of why I hate GPS. I discovered that trick 30 years ago and no one wised up to the stupidity, but now that every idiot can effortlessly do the bypass I have a feeling it will be stopped.

    #928986

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Ok. Nobody prompted me, so I’ll make my joke anyway.

    Why didn’t I mention that you can avoid much of the NJ turnpike by taking 295? Because then you would ask why I didn’t mention that you can avoid the Susquehanna River bridge by getting off, driving a few miles down, and crossing a different bridge that you pay $10 per year for unlimited crossing.

    And why didn’t I want to mention that? Because only people from Baltimore drive the route often enough that they should pay 10 for unlimited (which is obviously only worth it if you know you will cross it 3 times, and the toll is one way only). And I have never met anyone from Baltimore who is intelligent enough to be able to follow the directions and do any of these tricks.

    Squeak: They can’t really stop us, except by putting a toll on the other roads in the area, since you could avoid the entire 11.2 miles.

    #928987

    dash™
    Participant

    That is a perfect example of why I hate GPS. I discovered that trick 30 years ago and no one wised up to the stupidity, but now that every idiot can effortlessly do the bypass I have a feeling it will be stopped.

    Don’t worry, these idiots are still trying to figure out how to get to Staten Island.

    #928988

    Think first
    Member

    And israeli fellow who don’t speak or read much english borrowed my GPS and hit the “avoid toll roads” options when trying to go from monsey to broklyn, well guess what he was headed to the Dunn memorial bridge, to cross the hudsoon without tolls. He was wondering why it took him so long?!???!?

    Well, there ya have it.

    #928989

    squeak
    Participant

    Popa, at any time they could put a toll plaza on the re-entry ramp. Of course, I’m talking about stopping us from taking the two minute detour that just skips the toll. You’re right that you could bypass the entire road, either by slow roads or on rt. 40 (which is a slow road too), but that is not worth it.

    #928990

    squeak
    Participant

    Also, if we’re really sharing tips, you should only take 295 on the way back when the Gap bridge is free. On the way there you should be on 95.

    #928991

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    They can’t put a toll anywhere outside their state. And since the state is only 11 miles long, it is not such a big deal to avoid the whole thing. Unless they put tolls on the side roads, which I don’t think they’ll do because the locals will go ballistic.

    Now, if they put tolls on the side roads, and exempted the locals, we would have a problem. But, already I’m starting to wonder if it might violate the Dormant Commerce Clause as an illegal restraint on interstate commerce.

    #928992

    apushatayid
    Participant

    One can always head over to Fort Lee, NJ bike across the GWB, down the West Side to the Brooklyn Bridge, save the tolls and still catch Maariv at the Marriot.

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