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YWN Coffee Room » Shidduchim

Fund to Help With Long Distance Dating Costs

(20 posts)
  • Started 2 years ago by Furhatone
  • Latest reply from Whiteberry

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  1. Furhatone
    Member

    Hi - I keep hearing that there is money available to defray the cost of boys or girls traveling to and from LA - but I can't find any definite facts about it. Does anyone know if there is help for people - especially LA girls to defray the cost of the girls flying east or the boy going west for dating? Thanks.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. MorahRach
    Member

    I know there is a shidduch crisis and all but, it is the girl or boys choice to fly back and forth to date.there are many many more tzedakas worthy of our money. People are literally starving, dying of disease, living in ruins right now after the hurricane in New York, hospitals that need money, yeshivas that fear closing due to lack of funds. That is only to name a few.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. yaakov doe
    Member

    Since the shortage of boys or girls is in the out of town communities perhaps they have such funds. Here, especially after the storm funds are needed locally for the devestated yeshivot and shuls and the families that lost their home and posessions.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. Furhatone
    Member

    MorahRach - oy - so shallow! You don't know the circumstance of the girl - you don't know what the West Coast girls are dealing with. But right away you jumped on the criticism bandwagon. Very disappointing to read such a quick response - dripping with critique. I will bet 2 things - you have no marriageable children and you didn't give a penny to help the flood victims.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. farrocks
    Joseph

    If all the girls would move to New York, they would have whom to marry.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. MorahRach
    Member

    Wow!!! Who is quick to judge now?? I am disgusted. First of all my husband and I donated a huge box of brand new baby and toddler clothes to the victims in far rockaway, second, we donated money to two different tzedaka collecting for the people in seagate, third we housed friends for 2 nights who lost power after the hurricane and were happy to do so.

    As for the first part of your attack, correct I don't have any marriage aged children right now, but I do have many friends who were out of town and bH managed to find husbands. Maybe it took them a little longer because of the traveling and what not, but they did. I can appreciate that it is a tough situation, but I am entitled to believing that there are literally thousands of other tzedaka worthy of the money.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. crisisoftheweek
    infantilization is tragic

    Aren't there Yeshivas on the west coast?

    Oh yeah thats right...only "in town yidden" are good enough nowadays

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. YITZCHOK2
    Member

    These comments here are very depressing. A Jew asked for help and instead of giving words of encouragement people had the audacity to knock the person for asking. I don't care how much clothes you gave people the tzar you caused this girl is unforgivable. Please ask the mod for the person's direct email so you could ask for mechila you don't need this hanging over you.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. MorahRach
    Member

    Get over yourself please.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. Chulent
    Joseph

    There are definite downsides to living out-of-town. This is one of the many downsides to living away from a large Jewish community.

    Many people, especially shidduch age, move to New York.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. zahavasdad
    zahavasoneluckygirl

    People want Tzedkah to Date so they can meet the person, then people want Tzedkah for Chacnas Kallah so the wedding is paid, then people want Tzedakah for learning in Kollel .

    Who is going to give if everyone followed this formula and took.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. rc
    Member

    Yes. as an out of towner, i say, sorry its like this, but the girl has to be centrally located in order to go out with east coast boys. if that means spending the year in NY so be it!! ALso dating is a process, it takes time. so if a boy even agrees to fly out to LA, what next?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. WIY
    Managed to post for 3 years without getting a subtitle

    Some of these comments are disgusting! I think we can all step back and stop judging and deciding whos needs are greater. Every valid cause is a cause and every Tzedakah that is for a real need is valid and should be respected. Thats not to say that there arent priorities. There certainly are, but that doesnt mean that we put one tzeddaka down because the other one is a bigger need or priority. A

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. interjection
    in·ter·jec·tion noun 1. an abrupt remark, made esp. as an aside or interruption

    My husband and I are both from the same an out of city but he lived in New York for three years to date. We were set up less than six months after he came back.
    Hashem can have your spouse find you wherever you are. If you want to marry the type of guy who goes to an East Coast yeshiva, it makes sense to go there but Hashem can have him find you wherever you are.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. Chulent
    Joseph

    Hishtadlus would include moving to New York for shidduchim. You must do your histadlus.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. Torah613Torah
    (613)Torah²

    The idea of this bothers me, but I'm not sure why.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. funnybone
    humerus

    The question was if anyone has information about such a fund; not if you think there should be one or if you would like to donate to one.
    I don't know of any such fund.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. yehudayona
    Member

    Dating doesn't have to be face to face.

    I never did any long-distance dating, but my first contact with my wife was a very long phone call (her roommate couldn't understand how she could talk for 3 hours to some guy she'd never met). These days, I would think Skype would be a reasonable way to go through some of the preliminaries and decide whether it was worthwhile to continue.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. more_2
    Member

    It's not a worthy cause... There are better ways to masse your money than to give it away to the youth to spend on dating joy rides... If you can't afford to travel for a date. Then date within your means- locally!!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  20. Whiteberry
    Member

    Mirubim Tzarchei Amcha.....

    If you have don't have infinite funds, speak to your Rav about how to best prioritize where you do allocate your tzedaka money.

    Posted 2 years ago #

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