November 19, 2012 3:14 am at 3:14 am #606108FurhatoneParticipant
Hi – I keep hearing that there is money available to defray the cost of boys or girls traveling to and from LA – but I can’t find any definite facts about it. Does anyone know if there is help for people – especially LA girls to defray the cost of the girls flying east or the boy going west for dating? Thanks.November 19, 2012 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #908572
I know there is a shidduch crisis and all but, it is the girl or boys choice to fly back and forth to date.there are many many more tzedakas worthy of our money. People are literally starving, dying of disease, living in ruins right now after the hurricane in New York, hospitals that need money, yeshivas that fear closing due to lack of funds. That is only to name a few.November 19, 2012 6:34 pm at 6:34 pm #908573yaakov doeParticipant
Since the shortage of boys or girls is in the out of town communities perhaps they have such funds. Here, especially after the storm funds are needed locally for the devestated yeshivot and shuls and the families that lost their home and posessions.November 21, 2012 2:44 pm at 2:44 pm #908576FurhatoneParticipant
MorahRach – oy – so shallow! You don’t know the circumstance of the girl – you don’t know what the West Coast girls are dealing with. But right away you jumped on the criticism bandwagon. Very disappointing to read such a quick response – dripping with critique. I will bet 2 things – you have no marriageable children and you didn’t give a penny to help the flood victims.November 21, 2012 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #908577farrocksMember
If all the girls would move to New York, they would have whom to marry.November 21, 2012 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #908578
Wow!!! Who is quick to judge now?? I am disgusted. First of all my husband and I donated a huge box of brand new baby and toddler clothes to the victims in far rockaway, second, we donated money to two different tzedaka collecting for the people in seagate, third we housed friends for 2 nights who lost power after the hurricane and were happy to do so.
As for the first part of your attack, correct I don’t have any marriage aged children right now, but I do have many friends who were out of town and bH managed to find husbands. Maybe it took them a little longer because of the traveling and what not, but they did. I can appreciate that it is a tough situation, but I am entitled to believing that there are literally thousands of other tzedaka worthy of the money.November 21, 2012 7:57 pm at 7:57 pm #908579crisisoftheweekMember
Aren’t there Yeshivas on the west coast?
Oh yeah thats right…only “in town yidden” are good enough nowadaysNovember 22, 2012 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm #908580YITZCHOK2Participant
These comments here are very depressing. A Jew asked for help and instead of giving words of encouragement people had the audacity to knock the person for asking. I don’t care how much clothes you gave people the tzar you caused this girl is unforgivable. Please ask the mod for the person’s direct email so you could ask for mechila you don’t need this hanging over you.November 22, 2012 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #908581
Get over yourself please.November 22, 2012 11:43 pm at 11:43 pm #908583ChulentMember
There are definite downsides to living out-of-town. This is one of the many downsides to living away from a large Jewish community.
Many people, especially shidduch age, move to New York.November 23, 2012 1:15 am at 1:15 am #908584zahavasdadParticipant
People want Tzedkah to Date so they can meet the person, then people want Tzedkah for Chacnas Kallah so the wedding is paid, then people want Tzedakah for learning in Kollel .
Who is going to give if everyone followed this formula and took.November 23, 2012 3:20 am at 3:20 am #908585rcParticipant
Yes. as an out of towner, i say, sorry its like this, but the girl has to be centrally located in order to go out with east coast boys. if that means spending the year in NY so be it!! ALso dating is a process, it takes time. so if a boy even agrees to fly out to LA, what next?November 23, 2012 4:16 am at 4:16 am #908586WIYMember
Some of these comments are disgusting! I think we can all step back and stop judging and deciding whos needs are greater. Every valid cause is a cause and every Tzedakah that is for a real need is valid and should be respected. Thats not to say that there arent priorities. There certainly are, but that doesnt mean that we put one tzeddaka down because the other one is a bigger need or priority. ANovember 23, 2012 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #908588interjectionParticipant
My husband and I are both from the same an out of city but he lived in New York for three years to date. We were set up less than six months after he came back.
Hashem can have your spouse find you wherever you are. If you want to marry the type of guy who goes to an East Coast yeshiva, it makes sense to go there but Hashem can have him find you wherever you are.November 23, 2012 9:06 pm at 9:06 pm #908589ChulentMember
Hishtadlus would include moving to New York for shidduchim. You must do your histadlus.November 25, 2012 1:16 am at 1:16 am #908590Torah613TorahParticipant
The idea of this bothers me, but I’m not sure why.November 25, 2012 5:08 am at 5:08 am #908591funnyboneParticipant
The question was if anyone has information about such a fund; not if you think there should be one or if you would like to donate to one.
I don’t know of any such fund.November 25, 2012 5:16 am at 5:16 am #908592yehudayonaParticipant
Dating doesn’t have to be face to face.
I never did any long-distance dating, but my first contact with my wife was a very long phone call (her roommate couldn’t understand how she could talk for 3 hours to some guy she’d never met). These days, I would think Skype would be a reasonable way to go through some of the preliminaries and decide whether it was worthwhile to continue.November 25, 2012 5:18 am at 5:18 am #908593more_2Member
It’s not a worthy cause… There are better ways to masse your money than to give it away to the youth to spend on dating joy rides… If you can’t afford to travel for a date. Then date within your means- locally!!!November 25, 2012 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #908594WhiteberryMember
Mirubim Tzarchei Amcha…..
If you have don’t have infinite funds, speak to your Rav about how to best prioritize where you do allocate your tzedaka money.
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