Introverts thread

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  • #596920

    I’m one.

    Are you?

    #1193385
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    I’d rather not say…

    #1193386
    Pac-Man
    Member

    I am.

    #1193387
    gefen
    Participant

    I’m too shy to answer.

    #1193388

    Yes I am. My wife is extroverted. Was wondering how it would be marrying an introvert like myself.

    #1193389
    BSD
    Member

    I am-that’s what i love about the cr. I can do my socializing virtually.:)

    #1193390
    adorable
    Participant

    I am not one by any stretch of the imagination but wish I could be sometimes!

    #1193391
    hanib
    Participant

    why adorable?

    (i’m definitely one and don’t mind it)

    #1193392

    I’m content with being an introvert, but sometimes I wish I could have the ‘chattiness’ of an extrovert when meeting new people.

    #1193393
    canine
    Member

    Can some of the introverts here please describe how you are introverted (and if it bothers you)?

    #1193394
    ha ha ha ha
    Member
    #1193395

    “Can some of the introverts here please describe how you are introverted (and if it bothers you)? “

    I like peace and quiet, and have no problem being alone.

    I listen more than I talk, (which is a *big* advantage – you learn a lot just by listening).

    I don’t gush warmth, though I am a warm person. That is sometimes a problem as my naturally restrained “that’s nice” may be taken for indifference.

    #1193396
    chayaleah
    Member

    I think when you are an introvert you need time away from people for a while. I know I cannot be in crowds as it makes me nervous. An extrovert is always looking to socialize and make new friends, and I would rather just have a few close ones. Introverts are more sensitive to feelings I think.

    #1193397
    canine
    Member

    Is introvert the same as anti-social?

    #1193398
    tomim tihye
    Member

    So not my thread.

    #1193399
    observanteen
    Member

    I’m an extrovert. But I sometimes wish I weren’t this friendly and outgoing. It is too often that I speak L”H, make others feel bad… Ugh, I just feel awful afterwards and envy those who keep their mouth shut.

    #1193400
    Pac-Man
    Member

    I think extroverts should marry introverts (and vice versa).

    #1193401
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Pac-Man: ‘(and vice versa)’

    Isn’t that implied?!?

    #1193402
    StuffedCabbage
    Participant

    Pac-Man- why? one of them is gonna end up really frustrated…..

    #1193403
    s2021
    Member

    Pac-man- why do u say that? I dont think I would be able to handle my opposite vert.

    #1193404

    I would say that the majority of people are extroverts and the minority are introverts. I wonder what is the actual ratio.

    Introverts tend to be more thinkers than doers. Also they don’t require recognition from other people in order for themselves to feel secure.

    #1193405
    Shrek
    Member

    I am definitely an introvert. I like people, but not in large numbers. A thoughtful discussion with a few friends as opposed to a party with lots of new faces.

    I think our society values extroverts much more than introverts. “outgoing” is considered a desirable personality trait, while “quiet” is considered dull.

    #1193406
    Ayala11
    Participant

    I don’t think that ‘extroverts do this’ and ‘introverts do that’ I think what it is is how you ‘ref-uel’ I know that whenever I have guests over I need to leave at least once for a few minutes to sort of re-fuel.

    #1193407
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    I wouldnt mind being an introvert cos ???? ????? ????? so they must all be clever.

    On the other hand, ?????? ??? ????? ?? ????? ?? or ?? ????? ??? ??? so I still have a chance.

    #1193408
    Health
    Participant

    Introvert and can’t stand the loud, macher type!

    #1193409

    I asked someone professional about this and she said as follows:

    extrovert-can be outgoing, bubbly, friendly… and after a “party” look for another party to “recharge”

    introvert-can be outgoing, bubbly, friendly…or can be quiet and shy… and after a party needs time alone to recharge. This DOES NOT mean antisocial. That’s a whole separate category.

    I don’t know what I am b/c of current situations I’m antisocial but I hate it and I don’t think I really am that way on a normal basis.

    #1193410
    hanib
    Participant

    Isn’t that implied?!?

    lol!

    but, actually no – cuz statistics of myers-brigg show that 75% of population are extroverts (i’ll let you guys do the math to figure out how many are introverts ;)), so there would be a real shidduch crisis if we were to follow this advice. ?

    mischief-maker – i go by your definition. i could be lively and talkative and appear extroverted at a party, but i don’t feel true to myself when i do so. i really enjoy and feel good about one-on-one, more meaningful conversations. i hate playground talk.

    another definition is: do you go to the library for the peace and quiet or do you go to the library to seek out other people to talk to?

    i enjoy being an introvert – have a lot of good, long-time, close friends. i wouldn’t mind being an extrovert at a simcha, where there are tons of people and have to make small talk. (i enjoy simchas most if i can find one person i know well and can get into good conversation with her.)

    #1193411
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I am a loner by nature, and used to have real anxiety in social settings i had trouble holding a job, i have been on medications for this for about 6,7 years and the medication makes a huge difference and i am now able to cope i still prefer being alone to being in a crowd but it no longer terrifies me to do so.

    #1193412
    adorable
    Participant

    I am an extrovert but wish I knew how to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I also get nervous from some of my friends who are introverts and dont talk much….if they know I am going through something they might not call me to find out how i’m doing because they figure that i know they are davening and will call me when I am ready to talk. On the other hand, sometimes I wish they would just call me and tell me that they are thinking about me and ask me how I’m managing… I guess each one has its good and its bad parts.

    #1193413

    Bina: Is your spouse an introvert like yourself, or is he an extrovert?

    #1193414
    Pac-Man
    Member

    I think an introvert/extrovert spousal relationship compliments one another.

    #1193415
    veteran
    Member

    “statistics of myers-brigg show that 75% of population are extroverts”

    The Myers-Briggs definitions of introvert and extrovert is different from the colloquial usages of the words. In MBTI, an introvert is one who thinks “internally” and an extrovert is one who thinks “externally”. For example, an MBTI extrovert is likely to be someone who talks through their thoughts. An MBTI introvert is one who is likely not to say anything until he has thought through the subject and solidified his ideas. if you put the two of them in the room together, the likely outcome is that the introvert will think to himself, “why can’t that guy be quiet so I can think”, and the extrovert will think to himself, “that guy just doesn’t have any useful ideas”.

    In the colloquial sense, we mean socially introvert and extrovert, i.e. shy vs. outgoing. So MBTI isn’t really useful in this discussion.

    #1193416
    twisted
    Participant

    To certain extremes. I dont like crowds, parties, or kiddushes, and only really open up with knowns, and boards like this. Anonymity is both a comfort and a discomfort.

    #1193417
    adorable
    Participant

    I am shy in some cases like I have a hard time when I meet new people but I dont think that anyone sees that or knows it. In general I am an outgoing person which has its nisyonos too

    #1193418
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I rarely eat at others for shabbos meals its not enjoyable some of these meals can be very drawn out i just find it draining.

    #1193419
    hanib
    Participant

    veteran: except that some of us were defining ourselves as introverts based on the myers-brigg definitions, such as at least: me, mischiefmaker, and possibly shrek. maybe others, i don’t know.

    lomed mikol edom: yup. and pretty much the same way. though not the way veteran defines it.

    veteran – don’t people generally say that women need to talk through their thoughts (i know i do) and men don’t?

    #1193420
    veteran
    Member

    binahyeseira- You define yourself as an introvert per MBTI and you talk through your thoughts? Sounds to me like you need to be retested, or you didn’t test well.

    Your generalization about men and women may or may not be true, but the MB Test results are that you are I or E, not “Man” or “Woman” 🙂 (Personally, I disagree with the generalization).

    #1193421
    hanib
    Participant

    i’ve read the book – “please understand me”, and it gives a whole list of what is introvert and what isn’t. my basic understanding of the difference is that introverts prefer 1 on 1 conversations and extroverts get a high when in a crowd with lots of people – basically, where does one feel energized from and which way depletes one’s energy.

    of course, there’s a continuum and most people will have some aspects of both.

    anyways, in the colloquial definition, i am still an introvert, but don’t appear to be one. i am extremely shy, but don’t appear to be so cuz when i know someone well i’m not shy with them and i still smile at people even though i am EXTREMELY shy. in this sense, my husband is not an introvert, as he is not shy – though he would also not be defined as an extrovert (very loud, outgoing).

    #1193422
    hanib
    Participant

    just found the book and looked up what it says about I and E.

    extrovert: ………………… introvert:

    sociability ………………. territoriality

    interaction ………………. concentration

    external ………………. internal

    breadth …………….. depth

    extensive …………….. intensive

    multiplicity of relationships .. limited relationships

    expenditure of energies …… conservation of energies

    interest in external events .. interest in internal reaction

    this book was written by Keirsey and Bates based on Jung and Myers typology. on the back cover, it says: “please understand me” provides a useful vocabulary and phraseology for applying th jung-myers concepts of type.”

    by the way, it’s a great book. 😉 (if you’re into stuff like this)

    #1193423
    wallflower
    Participant

    Yes, I’m an introvert.

    Introversion is not shyness. I hate when people think that. Shyness means “anxiety in social situations.” Introversion means quiet by choice.

    Another great book: “I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just Not You.”

    #1193424
    wallflower
    Participant

    Adorable-why do you wish you’re an introvert?

    Canine-why on earth would it bother me that I’m an introvert? It’s so stereotypical to think that people who would rather read a book than throw a party are miserably shy.

    Introverts: what about extroverts annoys you most?

    #1193425
    oomis
    Participant

    I wanted to post something, but I was too shy.

    #1193426
    Health
    Participant

    wallflower -Can’t get in a word edgewise. Can’t hear myself think because of the loudness.

    #1193427
    yossi z.
    Member

    based on the definitions given here i would say i am an introvert with an extrovert side to me

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    #1193428
    adorable
    Participant

    I think I am an extrovert with a tiny side of introvert

    #1193429
    observanteen
    Member

    I think most people have a little from both. I don’t think it’s a black and white answer.

    I am an extrovert. But sometimes, I feel like an introvert (I like to spend time by myself, read a book instead of socializing etc.).

    #1193430
    toomuch00
    Member

    I need help. Im having a really hard time accepting that im an “introvert”. i live in a small community which makes it so so so much worse- because all the girls my age socialize the whole day. theyre all over the place, doing everything. i stay in my house. basically all day every day. i just dont enjoy going out with them. yet they always , not intentionally to hurt me, make comments about how i dont come out. i dont say anything back because they wont understand or even know what the word means! But these comments hurt me and i have extremely low self esteem because of it.and since the community is so close knit (my family is mostly introverted too)i even feel like i dont belong when i walk down the block! like i cant even enjoy my community beacause im scared ill meet someone. its been bothering me for the past year really bad.any suggestions would be great. thanx.

    #1193431
    observanteen
    Member

    toomuch: Being an introvert isn’t bad as long as it doesn’t hurt you in any way. If you feel your neighbors and friends get annoyed when you stay closeted in your house then go out to them. I too, have very outgoing and friendly neighbors and friends who expect me to spend a LOT of time with them. At times, I feel like reading a book or bake etc. But I know I have to invest in the friendship.

    Also, because you’re spending so much time by yourself, you didn’t really develop your social skills (as you describe). It’s not too late. Go out, make some friends and try to keep the conversation light (although you probably enjoy deep and meaningful conversations, some people find it annoying) and on their level. Yeah, I know it might feel awkward and silly discussing dumb stuff like clothing etc. but with time, you’ll come to tolerate and maybe even enjoy these discussions. Just listen, nod your head, share jokes stories etc. Be cooperative and take part in their games, slumber parties, b-day parties etc.

    Good luck!

    #1193432
    adorable
    Participant

    I love socializing but also need “down” time for myself I think its normal

    #1193433
    mewho
    Participant

    oh wow, i thought people were going to post if they are an innie or an outtie

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