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1. This name is already taken
   I have 2 subtitles both of which aren't listed.

   Post all mashups of quotes, 1 liners sayings etc.

   When life gives you lemons, Take em there free

   Posted 6 months ago #

2. aurora77
   loves cats

   Hello This name is already taken,

   This topic is fabulous, with many hilarious possibilities! I have to think here a little bit to see if I can come up with a good one...

   Posted 6 months ago #

3. WolfishMusings
   The Wolf

   A good oldie attributed to Yogi Berra:

   "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

   The Wolf

   Posted 6 months ago #

4. dhl144
   Member

   "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life"

   I really love this saying...It helped me a lot I am in college and it helped me pick what I would like to major in so I would only pick a major which the career possibilities would only be something I would enjoy....Social Work was my final choice.

   Posted 6 months ago #

5. OneOfMany
   The Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple ^_^

   "It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."

   "Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom."

   "Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened."

   "Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."

   "If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy."

   "Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar."

   (All property of Terry Pratchett. ^_^)

   Posted 6 months ago #

6. on the ball
   Member

   Veni, Vidi, Visa

   'I came, I saw, I went shopping'

   Posted 6 months ago #

7. just my hapence
   a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

   Inside every fat girl is a thin girl, and lots of chocolate.

   (Also property of TP)

   Posted 6 months ago #

8. WolfishMusings
   The Wolf

   Another one of my favorites:

   Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ~ Groucho Marx

   The Wolf

   Posted 6 months ago #

9. OneOfMany
   The Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple ^_^

   "Veni, vermini, vomini."

   (Also property of TP)

   Posted 6 months ago #

10. just my hapence
    a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

    The pen is mightier than the sword. If the sword is very short and the pen is very sharp.

    (who do you think?)

    Posted 6 months ago #

11. coffee addict
    Once killed a Troll with his bare hands

    If at first you don't succeed, cheat

    Posted 6 months ago #

12. This name is already taken
    I have 2 subtitles both of which aren't listed.

    Great keep em coming

    Posted 6 months ago #

13. Syag Lchochma
    Tell it to me, and I will tell you if it's Loshon Hara :)

    "A bird in the hand, spoils the broth"

    Posted 6 months ago #

14. This name is already taken
    I have 2 subtitles both of which aren't listed.

    Here is another of the When life gives you lemons sort
    When life gives you lemons Eat them

    Posted 6 months ago #

15. coffee addict
    Once killed a Troll with his bare hands

    life is like a box of chocolate- sweet at first, afterwards it gives you a stomach ache

    Posted 6 months ago #

16. just my hapence
    a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving's not for you.

    Posted 6 months ago #

17. THE REAL NUDNIK
    Member

    *Those who are proud of keeping a neat room don’t know the joy of finding something they thought they lost forever
    *The world is full of willing people, some are willing to work and some are willing to let them
    *The easiest way to expand my vocabulary is to make up words
    *Some people are no good at counting calories, they have figures to prove it
    *Smile and the world will smile with you, laugh and they’ll all think you’re on drugs
    *Promptness is the ability never to be as late as the person you’re going to meet
    i collect quotes these are just a few of my collection (i have way over 1000) thanx to everyone that ever posted any of them!!!!!

    Posted 6 months ago #

18. WIY
    Member

    The real nudnik
    These are really good.

    Posted 6 months ago #

19. on the ball
    Member

    Hey all, this thread is for funny variations of good quotes - not for good quotes themselves

    Posted 6 months ago #

20. WolfishMusings
    The Wolf

    When life gives you lemons, make sure to ask for some water, sugar, ice and some tall glasses.

    The Wolf

    Posted 6 months ago #

21. frummy in the tummy
    if it isn't cholent, it's just not yummy (unless it's beer)

    I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

    Posted 6 months ago #

22. left to write
    Member

    >if at 1st you don't succeed, consider making failure your goal.

    >keep your eye on the ball, keep your shoulder to the wheel, keep your ear to the ground, keep your nose to the grindstone, keep your back to the wall. Now try working in that position.

    Posted 6 months ago #

23. just my hapence
    a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

    Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

    Posted 6 months ago #

24. This name is already taken
    I have 2 subtitles both of which aren't listed.

    >A penny saved is a government oversight.
    >If ignorance is bliss why aren't there more ignorant people in the world

    Posted 6 months ago #

25. on the ball
    Member

    People living in glass houses should not.

    Before you criticise someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them when you criticise them and you have their shoes.

    Posted 6 months ago #

26. left to write
    Member

    No man is an island...but Virginia is a state.

    Posted 6 months ago #

27. abba_murray_bar_popa
    Member

    do not let he who is without sin live in glass house

    Posted 6 months ago #

28. syeshiva
    Member

    Life is tough. Even when sliding down the rainbows you get splinters

    Posted 6 months ago #

29. syeshiva
    Member

    If you eat glatt meat, buy cholov yisrael milk to go with it

    Posted 6 months ago #

30. syeshiva
    Member

    Left to write:
    pPlease explain. I have a great aunt virginia and she would be very insulted. So I will not tell her

    Posted 6 months ago #

31. LBK
    Member

    Examine your neighbor's faults with a mirror, not a telescope...

    Posted 6 months ago #

32. just my hapence
    a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

    If at first you don't succeed, try failing.

    Posted 6 months ago #

33. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    Money makes the world go round, and booze increases the speed

    Posted 6 months ago #

34. theObvious
    Member

    Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

    A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

    Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight

    When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye

    Don't be so humble - you are not that great

    That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it

    heheh!

    Posted 6 months ago #

35. frummy in the tummy
    if it isn't cholent, it's just not yummy (unless it's beer)

    Don't count your chickens before your eggs are all in one basket.

    Posted 6 months ago #

36. Luna Lovegood
    Quibbling In the CR

    when life gives you lemons say "hey! free lemons!"

    Posted 6 months ago #

37. Yekke Mitt a Gartel
    Member

    Knowledge is worth every penny, but common sense is worthless

    Posted 6 months ago #

38. Yekke Mitt a Gartel
    Member

    >if life gives you lemons, squeeze it in someones eyes
    >Lemons are 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make out of it
    >Do unto others before they do unto you
    >Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much
    >Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And since not lifting weights doesn't kill us. Therefore not lifting weights makes us stronger
    >Success is 1% inspiration and 99% luck

    Posted 6 months ago #

39. This name is already taken
    I have 2 subtitles both of which aren't listed.

    Great job keep em coming

    Posted 6 months ago #

40. Syag Lchochma
    Tell it to me, and I will tell you if it's Loshon Hara :)

    You are only young once, but you can be immature forever!

    Posted 6 months ago #

41. just my hapence
    a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

    My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates, somewhere or other there's going to be a coconut creme that no-one likes.

    Posted 6 months ago #

42. yekke2
    Member

    I asked a friend where my chavrusa was. He told me: "He's in the place where the king himself goes!"

    Posted 6 months ago #

43. ybrooklynteacher
    speaks from many years experience in chinuch

    I take my kids everywhere, but they keep finding their way back.

    A man's home is his castle - until the queen arrives.

    Posted 6 months ago #

44. mrs. Katz
    Member

    When I married Mr. Right, I didn't realise that his first name was Always.

    Posted 6 months ago #

45. just my hapence
    a penny for your thoughts, minus some change

    The journey of a thousand miles starts with a wrong turn.

    Posted 6 months ago #

46. venahapoich Hu
    Sober on Purim

    Hard work has never killed anyone yet, but why take the risk.

    I'm on a seafood idet, i see food and i eat it.

    Posted 6 months ago #

47. venahapoich Hu
    Sober on Purim

    Happiness is theonly thing that doubles whenever you share it.

    Posted 6 months ago #

48. coffee addict
    Once killed a Troll with his bare hands

    A Byrd in the hand Is worth $10,000

    Posted 6 months ago #

49. BYEnglish
    Member

    Love these! By the way, these sentences are called paraprosdokians.

    Posted 6 months ago #

50. Veltz Meshugener
    Member

    nothing tastes as good as skinny cow ice cream

    Posted 6 months ago #

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