There has to be a better way

Home Forums Shidduchim There has to be a better way

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #612960
    heywhynot
    Member

    I was told by a shadchan/rav that most guys decide within 60

    Seconds of meeting a girl whether or not they like them;

    If a large percentage of the time the guy will decide almost instantly

    That he doesn’t like her, why go through with the entire date? Obviously

    It would be very disrespectful to just meet her on a date for a minute and then

    Walk away, but there has to be some sort of way where we don’t make

    Both sides waste hours of their time for nothing??

    #1019034

    Because it is not true.

    #1019035
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Because the women will be insulted and embarressed if the guy takes a look, says “you’re ugly”, and walks out.

    That’s why.

    #1019036

    don’t know who “most guys” are but from my experience as a guy tells me that even if they have a bad first impression if the first date goes well they will change their minds

    #1019037
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    there has to be some sort of way

    The CR already came out against pictures.

    Popa is right, of course, and besides the ma’alah of acting like a mentch, there’s a side benefit of continuing the date in a normal manner; many a successful shidduch has come about because he (or she) reconsidered their first impression.

    #1019038
    heywhynot
    Member

    Why isn’t speed dating more widely used?

    #1019039
    sk8ergirl
    Member

    If looks mean so much to u, u can technically go to their shul and ask someone to point them out, or stalk them in some other area you know they frequent. And if u wanna make small talk with them, set up a kosher bagel stand in their college and wait for them to come buy one.

    #1019040
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Women do the same thing ive been on many dates that were over within 60 seconds.

    #1019041
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Agreed with the Goq. Women do the same thing. And as bad as it is when we realize it, it would be worse if they turned around and went back up the stairs calling “forget it” over their shoulder.

    #1019042
    cherrybim
    Participant

    Unfortunately, their marriages last just as long.

    So smart, yet so stupid.

    Find a mate who is a yiras shamayim and look no further. You will have a good marriage.

    #1019043
    yehudayona
    Participant

    cherrybim, a 60-second marriage? I can image it: “Ladies and Gentlemen, for the very last time, Mr. and Mrs. Shmerel Goldbergstein.”

    #1019044
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It builds character if a man has sat through long, boring dates and survived them. It also helps a man appreciate his wife if he chose her for a reason.

    #1019045
    dial427436
    Member

    I had a rebbe who told me that unless you going to vomit when you see her you should still go out with her another time lol.

    #1019046

    I vomited ON her. so she should say no

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