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YWN Coffee Room » Humor & Entertainment

Things Kids Said/Did

(244 posts)
  • Started 4 years ago by smartcookie
  • Latest reply from RebYidd23
  1. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    As I was opening my camera, my daughter asked me if she can see my remembery card!

    I love the posts in this thread.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    When we were young, my then-3-yr-old sister and her friend were playing in my grandmother's backyard. There was this dark-skinned neighbor next door resting in the sun on his lawn chair, and the 2 girls didn't notice him till he got up from his nap about an hour later. I noticed they both stopped playing and stared at the person heading toward his house. They stood there frozen as my sister pointed to him innocently (there weren't too many black/dark-skinned people in our neighborhood then) and remarked in a hushed whisper, "look! A bear-man!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. yentingyenta
    Member

    my younger sister to my father very emphatically: "totty i'm smarter than you"

    totty: really? why is that?

    sister: because i go to kindergarten and you only go to work!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. Syag Lchochma
    Talmidah of Rebbe Akiva

    When I told my 4 year old we cancelled the internet she said, "what?! how could you do that with <siblings> in Israel waiting for emails!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. Feif Un
    Proud Modern Orthodox

    Last night, my daughter told me "On Shavuos, we drink 4 cups of wine because the Maccabim won the fight!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    OH NO!
    You're daughter forgot that we drink them in the succah!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. We were driving to Yosemite (Mountiany;good chance for a deer) and my father was driving a little fast so my mother scream at my father "Dear" "Dear" so my little brother says "where where?" "where's the deer"!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    My daughter asked my father to carry her. I can't carry you he said you're too heavy for me. No I'm not she said, my father can carry me and you're older than him... ☺

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. Syag Lchochma
    Talmidah of Rebbe Akiva

    Love it shticky. My daughter was with a friend of ours who is deaf and she ran to me saying, "look what I learned to say in silent language!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. Syag Lchochma
    Talmidah of Rebbe Akiva

    Love it shticky. My daughter was with a friend of ours who is deaf and she ran to me saying, "look what I learned to say in silent language!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. Shopping613
    The Awarder, President, and founder of SUC (Single Username Certificates). Contact me to join. Pretty please with all the toppings on top

    My friend just moved to Israel and her 4yr old son is very interested in the slugs that come out each mornjng a few days ago he made a little starting and finishing line to gave a little race between two slugs. The loser's.prize is getting g stepped on while the winners prize is that he gets to watch his friend get stepped kn first, then its his turn!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    My little sister said "I want ice cream". My mother said to her "you did not say please!" So she said "please can I want some ice cream"...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. smartcookie
    Member

    I told my 5 year old son, "it's really hot in our house," to which he answered, "you know why? Cuz I'm shvitzing".

    I said, "why? Your shvitzing doesn't make the house hot." And he answers so innocently and seriously,
    "Of course it does, I'm shvitzing and I'm walking around all over the house, no wonder it's so warm here!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    SL...You have doublepostititis!!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. mom12
    Member

    I came into an office with my 4yo daughter.
    there was a fish tank with exotic fish..
    and a machine that was causing a lot of noise.
    pointing at the machin she asks me 'whats that?'
    to which I answered 'a filter'
    so she asked me back 'dais iz gefilte fish?'

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. mommamia22
    Member

    We're traveling on July 4th, using a GPS for directions. Our little one says "sharp left! Navigate to the nearest pizza store". Lol!!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    We were telling the kids about reb elyashiv zatzal and mentioned that all the world media were talking about is the size of his levaya and the fact that he saw 6 generations ie his great great great grandchildren. My daughter asked me - is that on his side or his wife's side

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. menucha12
    Member

    two of my adorable nephews were fighting over whether hashem has a last name
    of course he does said the brighter one of the two its yerachem

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    My little daughter came into the kitchen and wanted some small cookies. We told her she could take 3. A few minutes later we caught her taking another 3. Take 2 and that's it we said.Ok she says, but instead of putting back a cookie she took more! What are you doing we asked her. You said take 2 cookies so I am, she said innocently (or not).

    Posted 2 years ago #
  20. ursketching
    Member

    when my cousin was 2, she thought e/o with a beard was uncle moishy. during biur chametz, anyone who passed by with beard she called out "Moishy". one man, upon hearing this, turned around and asked shocked, " how on earth does she know my name!!!"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  21. mommamia22
    Member

    My son was playing doctor one day. He says to me "open your eyes, open your mouth, let me listen to your ear..." (and he puts his ear smack up against mine to listen).

    Posted 2 years ago #
  22. ursketching
    Member

    mommamia-That's Precious!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  23. mommamia22
    Member

    My son asked why it stopped raining, so I said because H' wanted it to. He asked "did He pull a lever to stop it?"

    Posted 2 years ago #
  24. mommamia22
    Member

    My son encountered a math problem (only 1 out of hundreds) that seemed to possibly suggest using a calculator.
    Soon after, when we go shopping for school supplies, he insists he needs a calculator. When I point out it was only for one question he says "I'm not allowed to use my brain! It's cheating!"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    My young daughter was insistent that her teacher had told them that on yom kippur all the men go to shul and to look like malochim they all wear white tichels...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  26. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    Ken Zayn: LOL!! (that one really had me laughing out loud!)

    My 3 yr old made a paper shofar wrapped around with a whistle at the end. When I told him before Rosh Hashana we have to put it away for yom tov (it was muktza), he insisted that he has to bring it to shul. He explained, "And then when all the Tattys take out THEIR shofar I will take MINE out and blow too"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  27. notasheep
    more like a mother bear

    As a kindergarten teacher I hear some great pearls of wisdom...

    During davening time the I sometimes had to mention that not everyone was sitting nicely, to which all of them would then start saying that they were listening/ sitting nicely/ not messing around etc. This got quite tiring so I used to tell them "I know who was sitting nicely and not sitting nicely, B''H I've got 2 eyes". One morning this happened so I said, as usual "I can see who was davening nicely" to which a girl called out "B''H you've got 2 eyes!"

    When I was expecting my baby, I was around 7 months when one of my kids asked me "Why do you have a fat tummy?". I asked the girl "Why do you think?" to which she replied "Maybe cause you eat too much?"

    I had to bring my baby into work one morning cause she wasn't well enough to go to daycare (we call it creche here). One of my kids had the same name as my baby and commented "Her name means me."

    Posted 1 year ago #
  28. Syag Lchochma
    Talmidah of Rebbe Akiva

    My 5 year old saw me crying during neilah and asked why I was crying. I said it was because I was davening hard to Hashem to give us a good, healthy year. She answered, "and you're crying cuz maybe he won't?"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  29. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    One of my kids have just begun learning the script alef-bais. Today she came in excitedly from school and proudly announced that she can now write a script gimmel and she wrote one. I told her that in a few days she will be learning the script zayin and it is the exact same as the gimmel besides that you write it the other way round. Oh she said, you mean you start at the bottom and write it going up to the top? ☺

    Posted 1 year ago #
  30. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    This is turning into my own private diary. I look forward to looking at it in the future and getting nachas.

    My daughter came home from school this friday פרשת לך לך with a box and a lady in it. "Who's in the box" asked her. " שרי " she said proudly. "And who put שרי in the box" I asked her? "I did" she said!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  31. ursketching
    Member

    when my sister was 3, she learnt about the mabul. later on, the teacher was warning the class not to put too much toilet paper in the toilet because it could cause a flood. for months my sister was petrified to flush the toilet. in her mind, she put a mabul and a toilet flood together and assumed that if she flushes the toilet, the whole world will be flooded.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  32. todahrabba
    Member

    we had my sister in law over with her kids for shabbos and I was single at the time.They were setting the table and for some reason I was standing in the kitchen. Her 2 yr old son asks ,"Mommy, why isn't ____ helping?"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  33. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    My 4 year old boy celebrated his (hebrew) birthday in school 2 weeks ago with a nice big cake for him and his classmates. He had such a great time he couldn't stop talking about it for the next few days.
    This past Shabbos, in the middle of the shabbos seudah, it occured to me that it was his english birthday. I announced,"Hey everybody, today is October 27, it's Shloime's english birthday!"
    My son's bright eyes opened wide at the news of his birthday, and he excitedly asked, "So now I'm 5??"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  34. mommamia22
    Member

    "Clown fish live in the ocean.... In an m, n, m, n, m, n, nee"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  35. Ken Zayn
    born Kenneth Solomon Zaynestzky

    In the UK it began snowing heavily as shabbos/tu bishvat came in. This morning, while looking out of the windows at the beautiful pure white scene outside, the kids said that it has snowed on tu bishvat to put a kittel on the trees as its rosh hashana for them!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  36. ThePurpleOne
    OMG!!! i got like a delciously purpleberrylicious subttl. this is lik totaly x normal

    rlly funny... my 4 yr old brother went to skool "two lesterdays ago" and then my 2 yr old sis is like " its YESTERday not lesterday!!" 1st shes correctin him and then shes not even realizing wats wrong w two yesterdays ago..

    Posted 1 year ago #
  37. superme
    me has superpowerz

    Adorable the things that come out of kids mouths :).

    Posted 1 year ago #
  38. mommamia22
    Member

    "my mouth is broken"

    Translation:
    Peeling lip

    Posted 1 year ago #
  39. ThePurpleOne
    OMG!!! i got like a delciously purpleberrylicious subttl. this is lik totaly x normal

    or when "my eye broke" like someone poked it..

    Posted 1 year ago #
  40. takahmamash
    Member

    One of my girls (in first grade at the time) won a raffle at the motzei Shabbat learning at her school. It was a two volume set, called "The Illustrated Mishnayoth Shabbath - Mishnayos Shabbos with The Commentary of R' Ovadia M'Bartinura."

    A few weeks later as we're eating on a Friday night, she brings the first volume over to me, saying, "Abba, read this to me, I won it, please read it to me."

    So, I opened it to the first mishna. As you probably know, it has to do with two men, one inside a house and the other outside, and they're extending their hands into and out of the house, handing each other something on Shabbat. I'm trying to explain everything to this poor six year old kid, who is just looking at me. Finally she asks, "Abba, are you making this up?"

    Posted 1 year ago #
  41. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    We didn't get to תשליך on ראש השנה so we decided to go today. As we were about to go, my little one said "where are my aveiros? I need to take them with and feed them to the fishies"

    Posted 11 months ago #
  42. dotnetter
    Member

    I was giving my baby medicine and my 2 yr old wanted to know why she was not getting any. I told her because baruch Hashem she was not sick. So she asked "And baruch Hashem _____ (baby) is sick?"

    I was telling her about chanuka and I explained that she might get presents from her bubbies. So I asked her - what do we do when a bubby gives us a present? To which she answered "we take it home and play with it!"

    She wanted to wear a skirt one day so I told her when she gets really big she will wear a skirt. So she asked "and when totty gets big he will also wear a skirt?"

    Posted 8 months ago #
  43. SayIDidIt™
    Why does everyone (except me) want a subtitle so much?

    My 6 year old brother was coughing and it sounded like he may throw up. So my other brother said, "Lipa, where are you going to throw up?" His reply, "On your plate!"

    SiDi™

    Posted 6 months ago #
  44. RebYidd23
    Not really home-schooled in the hard knocks of where it says "post"

    Smart=funny?

    Posted 6 months ago #

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