Tagged: Cute Kid Lines
January 20, 2010 4:05 am at 4:05 am #591137
How about if we start a thread with cute or funny things a kids said or did? Anyone?
January 20, 2010 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #1185080
oooh I like this topic. So many things happen I just cant think of any right now..
January 20, 2010 4:47 pm at 4:47 pm #1185081
My Russian-accented babysitter informed my 4-year old that her mother just turned 88. My kid said, “She’s gonna die soon; please can I have more soup?”
I overheard this from the other room, and I wanted to stay there.
January 20, 2010 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #1185089
last time it was 3 duplicate posts at the same time
this time it was 7!
please do not submit multiple posts
January 20, 2010 5:57 pm at 5:57 pm #1185090
There was one adorable anecdote posted in the nachas magazine last month:
A child went to see his newborn sibling in the hospital’s nursery and when seeing so many babies in their cradles he asked innocently:
Are these babies already born or are they gonna be born still?
January 20, 2010 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #1185091
anon for thisParticipant
tomim tihye, your post reminded me of when my then-6-year-old son told me that he had a substitute because his rebbe was absent. I asked him if he knew whether his rebbe would be back the next day, & he said, “I don’t know, maybe he’s dead.” When I asked him why he’d think that, he told me that when the students asked the rebbe how old he was, the rebbe said he was 105. Knowing that this is very old, and not realizing that the rebbe (who’s probably in his 50’s or 60’s) was joking, my son figured it would happen sometime soon.
January 20, 2010 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #1185092
I wanted to bribe a little neighbor into something I offered her a glow in the dark sticker. I explained to her that if you go inot a very dark room, or if it is very dark the stickre will light up. She asked me “if I close my eyes, is that dark enough to see it?”
January 20, 2010 9:51 pm at 9:51 pm #1185093
A young girl was arguing with her teacher about whether the story of Yonah was real, the teacher insisted it was not real.
The girl said that when she gets to Heaven she will personally ask Yonah.
The teacher said: And what if Yonah goes down to the other place?
The girl said: Then you can ask him.
January 20, 2010 9:55 pm at 9:55 pm #1185094
this happened to me : when i was a child i went with nursery after finishing parshas noach to the zoo when i came back i said to my teacher we saw all the animals but we did not see noach
January 20, 2010 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #1185095
anon for thisParticipant
Poster, that was just beautiful.
January 20, 2010 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #1185096
For awhile when my daughter was around 4, I kept a log of some of the things she said.
“I need some salad to help me relax.”
“I can’t get it. It makes my brains all sweaty.”
(5 mins later) “Look! My brains aren’t all sweaty anymore!”
In the car on the way to preschool she said, “Mommy, my Madeline doll is broken.” I said, it is? “Yeah, it needs batteries.” Honey, your Madeline doll doesn’t need batteries.
“Then how am I going to get it to walk and talk?” I laughed and said, she doesn’t really do those things – you have to use your imagination and pretend.
“Mommy, can I pretend she has batteries?”
“I’m not ready to be a grownup. I’m not ready to be an adult. It’s not fair. Mommy’s too short.”
“Mom, do you like rubber chickens?”
“I’m not a kitty – I’m just a human.”
I have had these saved for posterity (and the YW Coffee Room) for years…
January 21, 2010 1:20 am at 1:20 am #1185097
My brother was asked to make a sentence with the word “coal”.
His brainstorm went as follows:
My father learns in coal….
January 21, 2010 2:03 am at 2:03 am #1185098
The children were all drawing pictures of whatever they wanted.
The teacher was walking around and talking to the children about their pictures.
She asked one boy what he was drawing.
He said: This is a picture of G-d.
She said: Honey, no one knows what G-d looks like.
He said: They will in a minute.
January 21, 2010 2:38 am at 2:38 am #1185099
My grandchildren know my rules “no whining, no kvetching and no crying” for Bobby. My daughter was over with her 4 year old daughter and she got upset and started to cry. I said “what is this, are you crying?” She stuck her arm through her mother’s arm and faced me chin up and said quite matter-of-factly “I’m not crying for you I’m crying for my Mommy!” And then marched off into the other room leaving my daughter with her mouth hanging open.
January 21, 2010 4:15 am at 4:15 am #1185100
love this thread!
My sister walked past a store that sells headstones for graves (matzevahs) and stopped short in total shock- “They bury people INSIDE the store?!?!?!?”
January 21, 2010 4:36 am at 4:36 am #1185101
I was once driving my three year old neice and she was getting kvetchy and bored so I said let count to twenty- and i started “one mississippi, two mississippi…” so she goes, “three missis.. Sippy cup, four missis sippy cup, five missis sippy cup”!!!!
was really funny!!!
January 21, 2010 5:11 pm at 5:11 pm #1185102
My kids were fighting over a book, so I took it and said, “It’s my book.” My four-year old laughed and said, “Mommy doesn’t have regular books, only cook-a-books (cookbooks)!”
(As if I like to cook.)
January 21, 2010 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #1185103
One day was my sister was cradling her infant, her 5 year old son told her- Ma, open your mouth as wide as you can, I want to see how the baby was able to come out of it.
January 21, 2010 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #1185104
My son (at the time 10) would “guess” at what words say, instead of reading them.
One Sunday upstate, we were bike riding on the backroads, and in an attempt to get in some practice reading, I asked him to read the sign at the intersection, so I could find it on the map and figure out which way to turn.
He tells me, “we’re at Copper Cove” (the sign said Coopers Corner). So I said, no, try again and this time read it. (so he pieces it out and says Coopers Corner).
A while later, we needed to cross the 17B. In order to stress that we are dealing with a “real highway”, I asked him to read the speed sign (it said 55 mph).
He says, 60 mph. Up to this point, numbers had never been an issue. So I ask him, now numbers are a problem too?
He says, “I see it says 55, but everyone knows that you can go 60 in a 55 zone!”
(gee, I wonder who he heard that from!)
January 21, 2010 11:37 pm at 11:37 pm #1185105
My son came home from school today all upset that his cookie from his snack fell on the floor. I asked him if he ate it to which he replied that he left it on the floor.
I told him that next time he must pick it up and put it in a garbage bin.
He replied: “but then it would be baal tashchus!!”
January 22, 2010 6:21 am at 6:21 am #1185106
One night my friend put her daughter to bed (she was about 3 at the time) and an hour later her daughter was back downstairs in the living room. My friend asked her what she was doing out of bed and she replied, “I sleeped already.”
January 24, 2010 9:29 am at 9:29 am #1185108
I was walking in the streets of Yerushalayim with 4 of my children. A man walked all the way up to me and spit into my sheitel saying somtheing like “??? ?????”. I was shocked and did not want to make a scene with four children so I just walked away. I called my husband on my cell and told him what happened. My son wanted to know what he said. I told him that he wanted to know why I did not spit back into his face. My 7-year-old looked at me and said but that would be nekamah. And I looked at him and said your right!. Sometimes we need a childs perspective. (by the way I live here 9 1/2 years this is not a common occurence so don’t worry.)
Please don’t post the same item more than once.
January 25, 2010 3:17 am at 3:17 am #1185109
Just this past shabbos, my 2 1/2 year old daughter pointed to my red-tinged roses and said “Oh! The flowers are wearing makeup!”
Also, if she asks me to do something and I oblige she says “Good girl,mommy…”
January 25, 2010 5:19 am at 5:19 am #1185110
My children won a trip to Orlando from a Chinese Auction. They left today, and I asked my three year old grandson if he would please pack me up in his suitcase and take me, too. He laughed (way too MUCH, in my opinion. harrrumph!)and said, “Bubby, you’re very BIG. You don’t fit in a tiny suitcase!” So much for my plans for Disney World…
January 25, 2010 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #1185111
my 2 yr. old nephew always comes up with the funniest comments, my brother was once changing his nappy and he said to my nephew – wow that was a big nappy, to which my nephew replies, yes daddy i had a big breakfast 🙂 🙂
January 25, 2010 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #1185112
not funny but embarrasing my 3 year old said to us after someone held the door open for us” thats a nice goy, its good he didnt try to kill us”.
It was right after he learned about the mitzriyim and if the person heard they didnt flinch.
January 25, 2010 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #1185113
ARC- that reminds me of when I told my son that tatty will be home later because he’s learning now. He replied with a worried face- but antiyoches(however you spell it..) Doesn’t let…
Go explain it to them.
January 25, 2010 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #1185114
ARC, that is a priceless one!
January 26, 2010 1:12 am at 1:12 am #1185115
I love this thread!
arc, your son made me LOL!
January 26, 2010 1:53 am at 1:53 am #1185116
I was in Paris when my son was 3, he was very impressed with the eiffel tower and with the arc of triumph, so much that when he got back to school he wouldn’t build a regular tower out of legos it had to be an eiffel tower!
I was so embarrassed when the teacher told me. …
January 26, 2010 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1185117
When my brother was 3 (he’s now 15) went over to an African American worker in our house and politely said “excuse me, did you know that youre black?”
The man responded by laughing, fortunately
January 26, 2010 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1185118
My sister was telling my two nieces (aged 2 1/2 and 1 1/2) about this week’s Parsha.
She told them about Yetzias Mitzrayim and how all of the Yidden went out of mitzrayim even the little kinderlach and babies…then she started marching around the table singing the yiddish song “azoi zenen de yidden arois fun mitzrayim…” My sis did not think the 1 1/2 year old understood much of what she was talking about. When, all of a sudden she sees her little one taking a doll and putting it in a small knapsack…:)
January 26, 2010 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #1185119
We had been in Hershey Park surrounded by all the chocolates for 2 days.
So driving back we stopped in a toll booth and an African American man was in the booth, my little sister who was about 3 or 4 shouted “look a chocolate man!!”
January 26, 2010 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #1185120
Mybat, you just brought home a forgotten memory from my own childhood, when my little brother said virtually the same thing. He saw someone walking with their (black) baby in the carriage and he called out loudly, “See Mommy, there’s a chocolate baby!” I think he was about four years old.
January 26, 2010 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm #1185121
reminds me of my 3 year old cousin who used to call them “dirty men” and wanted to know why they didn’t take a shower
January 27, 2010 2:39 am at 2:39 am #1185122
my brother used to write on walls alot. we finally got him to stop and to only write on paper. one day he saw my father using one of those tide stain remover pens on his shirt. he looked at my father and said ” Tatty, only on paper!”
January 27, 2010 3:15 am at 3:15 am #1185123
my nine year old brother sees the application to heller with the name of mogen av and anouther boys camp. he asks-why would you wanna be on camp grounds with anouther two camps? so i say-they’re boys camps, we need SOMEONE for kiddush and havdala. they eat the meal on one side of the dining room and we eat on the other. and whenever we need a boy to do kiddush ect, we use them instead of bothering married staff. so he goes, wont there be a lot of fluttering????!!!!!
January 27, 2010 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #1185124
A teacher in a lakewood school was teaching her class about the Shevatim. When it came to Yissachar and Zevulan she told the class the Zevulan supports Yissachar so that he can learn. One kid raised her hand saying “doesn’t the wife support her husband?”
January 27, 2010 4:32 pm at 4:32 pm #1185125
I was babysitting my neice when my sister called.
My sis spoke to my neice over speaker phone. After talking to her mom for a few minutes, i noticed my neice examining the phone – then she scrunched up her face and said “mommy, are you in the phone?!?”
January 27, 2010 5:51 pm at 5:51 pm #1185126
That reminds me of a story my former boss told me. His teenaged son played piano. Quite well in fact. Anyway, the radio was on and they were playing a Sonata that his son plays. His 3-year-old stood in front of the radio saying, “I’m here Dovi. I hear you playing.”
February 3, 2010 2:37 am at 2:37 am #1185127
Blei Ayin Hara were a big family and when everyone comes in the door from school with tons to say it gets a bit hectic. So we’re always telling the kids we want to hear everyones stories but one at a time cause we cant all talk at the same time. When my daughter was leaving to seminary overseas we all went to the airport with her. My 4 year old daughter was crying and of course i was crying and my 4 year old said to me very seriously Ima you cant cry now because i was crying first and we all cant cry at the same time!!
February 3, 2010 4:43 am at 4:43 am #1185128
Best Ima – how smart is THAT!!!!!!!
February 3, 2010 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #1185129
The first time my four year old met a girl whose name is Ruchama, he called her “Ru-Nechama.”
February 3, 2010 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #1185130
My eight year old was supposed to be brushing her teeth and heading to bed. When she finally emerged from the bathroom, she informed me that she had been shining the faucet and mirror. I said, “Thanks, you just won a good night’s sleep,” and moved her toward her bedroom. Turning toward my bedroom, she said, “No, I won a night at the inn!”
February 3, 2010 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #1185131
I told my 3 yo daughter that I loved her so much I wanted to eat her up.
With tears in her eyes she looks at me and says “dont eat me! I’m not a cookie!”
Another time i told her to stop screaminga dn to be quiet. She looked at me and said “no ‘be quiet you’ me!!
February 4, 2010 2:22 am at 2:22 am #1185132
We were once traveling to Toronto, and that day there was tornado and streets were flooded and tonz! of traffic. We asked the car next to us, and he told us there was a tornado and my then three year old sister asked what does a tomato have to do with anything?
February 7, 2010 12:13 am at 12:13 am #1185133
i heard of a 2 12 year old whose mother told him “you’re so cute i want to eat you”!!! the kid screamed, you cant eat me i’m too young to die!!!
February 15, 2010 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #1185134
Having recently trained my son, he is very conscious about it. He was all frantic one day after playing in high snow and he realized his pants became all wet.
He tells me all upset- the snow made wet in my pants…
May 3, 2010 2:32 am at 2:32 am #1185135
At the seder this year after kiddush, my 1-year-old nephew pointed at the covered matzah and said “challah”. I guess he was skipping right to ma nishtana…
May 4, 2010 1:01 am at 1:01 am #1185136
A teacher told her students to write a sentence in Hebrew.
One student wrote: “Ani bumped my etzba, v’zeh harag osi.”
May 4, 2010 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1185137
My 3 year old nephew once went to the barbershop. The barber was an old italian guy. My nephew looks at the barber and says, “You’re an old man” !! LOL, it was ssoooo funny !!!
May 4, 2010 2:21 am at 2:21 am #1185138
Reminds me of my son who came crying to me that his cousin said that he killed him. He tells me,”I didn’t want him to kill me”….sob sob sob.
Same son mustve learned this language when my other one threatened to kill him(am I doing something wrong or is this normal?!)
I calmed my son by asking him, “and what happens if ur little baby brother says hell kill you?”
To which he responded,”then ill kill him right back!”
May 4, 2010 2:31 am at 2:31 am #1185139
The Queen of PersiaMember
My 5 year old daughter always loves to share her “song of the week” with me, usually having to do with the parsha or upcoming Yom Tov. A few months ago, about a week after Chanukah she came home crying. I asked her why she was crying. She told me that she cannot share her “song of the week” with me that week because it’s assur to say Mommy’s name, and the song was about me (Mommy). I told her that the song was most likely about Sarah Imeinu, and not about me, and that she should go ahead and sing it to me. She brightened, and having received my permission to sing a song with “my” name in it proceeded to sing all about “Asara B’Teves”!!!!!
May 4, 2010 3:35 am at 3:35 am #1185140
May 4, 2010 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #1185141
This did not happen to me, but the story is so classic, I felt it imperative to share with those of us that did not read or hear it yet. Its a phone exchange between a grandchild and the Babby:
GC: Babby, I can’t wait till you visit us again!
Babby: Why is that,zeeskeit?
GC: Because Tatty said he’ll show us a new trick!
Babby: Oh, really? What kind of trick?
GC: I’m not sure, but all he said was, “if Babby comes to stay with us again. I’ll flip!”
May 4, 2010 8:57 pm at 8:57 pm #1185142
Totty, that was very good! (please don’t start a whole shpiel how BP Totty is d a’s Totty!)
May 5, 2010 3:02 am at 3:02 am #1185143
D a, I didn’t know your father posts here, kewl!!(Just teasing!!)
May 5, 2010 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm #1185144
I’m more concerned that my Shvigger figure out who BP totty is! (Uh oh, here comes a barrage of nasty e-mails from all the shivggers in the CR)
May 6, 2010 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #1185145
I walked past my 4/5 yr old neighbor and he waved and said, “I know you! You’re <mrs. kapustas> son! (ftr, I’m a daughter as opposed to a son :))
(english is not his first language)
August 31, 2010 1:24 am at 1:24 am #1185146
i was watching my little 5 year old brother and i did something he didn’t like so he says to me thats unacceptable go to your room!
August 31, 2010 2:55 am at 2:55 am #1185147
We passed a cemetery and my son asked, “mommy is this Yerushalaim?”
I guess all those light colored stones do resemble the pics of Yerushalaim streets!
September 1, 2010 8:55 pm at 8:55 pm #1185148
My five year old niece was eating ice cream and her two year old sister wanted some. The five year old said, “Don’t look into my bowl”, to which the two year old responded by standing on her tip-toes, peering into the bowl, and saying “I’m not looking, I’m just seeing it”.
September 1, 2010 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #1185149
My 4 year old asked me if you become Tamei from touching shabbos shoes
September 1, 2010 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #1185150
Says who- that’s smart thinking!
September 1, 2010 9:22 pm at 9:22 pm #1185151
My daughter-in-law was watching my daughter’s kids for a few days. The last night was Thursday and she really wanted to get them to sleep so she could concentrate on Shabbos preparations. She stuck her head into the bedroom and told my five year old granddaughter to stop talking and go to sleep at which point she responded “I’m going to tell my Mommy that you are not being very nice to me!”.
September 1, 2010 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #1185152
one of my aunts was ones driving somepalace with her 6 year old daughter in the car with her. she started pulling out of her parking space while the electric door was still in the middle of closing.her doughter noticed this and said to her mother “ma, if u ever do that again im ganna tell bubby on u!!
September 2, 2010 1:38 am at 1:38 am #1185153
A friend told me that she heard her one child tell another child that the bracha you say after the bathroom is Borei Nefashos. She told her that you say Asher Yatzar, not Borei Nefashos after the bathroom, to which the child replied, “Yes, but I don’t know Asher Yatzar, so I’m saying Borei Nefashos!”
September 2, 2010 11:23 am at 11:23 am #1185154
A frined told me that her son asked her, “Ma, open your mouth as big as you can…” after she did she asked him why he wanted her to do this. He said. ” I just wanted to see how its possible that a baby can fit out of there!”
September 2, 2010 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #1185155
A Friend of mine told me this story, her 2 yr old niece had just moved back from israel. One of the only Hebrew terms she picked up was Dye ( meaning enough/ stop ). One day a cousin of hers was annoying her so she told her cousin- dye, dye, her cousin burst into tears and told her mother- she told me to die!!
September 2, 2010 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1185156
My Israeli cousins came in to NY and we were in a grocery store. I noticed a name of a nosh was called “adashim”. So i told my cousin (probably 4 then), “Hey look this has a hebrew word-“adashim”! She looks at me and says in her accent, “Zeh loh adashim, zeh Adasheeem (in a strong israeli accent- emphasizing the end of the word). It was too funny!
September 2, 2010 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm #1185157
Me and Mrs BP were still in the mountains this past shabbos, and the boys were in the city (yeshiva scedule / our packup drive back scedule did not make it practial for them to come up this weekend).
So they had an “in Shabbos”. SOme of the food was pre-made, some was bought, some they made themselves.
When we got back to the city late Sunday afternoon, the kitchen was spotless and the dishes /pots washed and put away. Leftovers were stored in containers.
Stunned (and pleasanty surprised) to say the least!
October 13, 2010 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #1185158
Many years ago my family went to a museum and got a tour. After the tour, the guide asked if anyone had questions. My brother, who was about 5 at the time raised his hand and when he was called on he asked with a serious look on his face, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”.
October 14, 2010 12:08 am at 12:08 am #1185159
My friends little 4 year old (or so) goes up to a old lady (a goy) with wrinkled face and white hair. Looks into her face and says “Are you dead?”.
Her mother had explained to her that when people get old they die.
October 14, 2010 12:12 am at 12:12 am #1185160
The question should really be, “Why did the Chabadnik cross the road?”
And the answer is…
to put tefillin on the chicken.
October 14, 2010 12:15 am at 12:15 am #1185161
My five-year old heard my newborn making some strange sounds and chuckled, saying “His battery died.”
October 14, 2010 12:28 am at 12:28 am #1185162
As my grandson was reading Parshas Bereishis in the Little Medresh Says. We hear him say,
“and G line D said Let there be light!!!”
October 14, 2010 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #1185163
When my daughter was about 3 years old she woke me up about 4 o’clock in the morning. I asked her why she was up so early and she replied: “I ran out of sleep.” Nowadays, some 40 odd years later, I still use the line when I wake up at 4 AM – which is almost daily.
October 14, 2010 2:41 pm at 2:41 pm #1185164
I saw this in a magazine once so you might know it but its adorable! A little girl notices her mother has a few white hairs so she asks her mother why she has them.
Her mother says, “everytime you do something wrong, or make me upset I get a white hair.” The girl thinks for a moment and then says, “How come ALL of Bubbys hair is white?”
October 14, 2010 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm #1185165
I had something on the table which I didn’t wand my kids to touch. I left the room for a half a minute, I asked my 4 year old to watch that my 2 year old shouldn’t touch it, when I came back I saw my 4 year old playing with it and my 2 year old telling him DON’T TOUCH.
October 14, 2010 3:19 pm at 3:19 pm #1185166
October 14, 2010 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #1185167
i teach first grade and the way we learn new words is i put the words on the board and then say a sentence and they have to put the correct word in the sentence. one of the words was “lemonade” the sentece was “my dad sips_______ from a glass” to which one of my boys called out “BEER!!!” i couldn’t stop laughing!!
October 14, 2010 4:57 pm at 4:57 pm #1185168
My 2 year old granddaughter was taken to the park on Shabbos where she met a new playmate. They had fun going down the baby slide together, and finally when she wanted to go on to something new, my ainekel started to run to another ride. The little girl was sitting at the bottom of the slide and patted the place next to her, calling her to come back. So my granddaughter came running back, sat down daintily, cross her legs at the knee, folding her hands and said, “So what shall we talk about?” Every adult within hearing distance dropped his/her jaw.
October 15, 2010 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #1185169
If ever a girl was ready for the shidduch market….!
October 15, 2010 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #1185170
Yoin from BPMember
I saw sign in BP store this morning (10/15/10):
‘Small amount of worm infestation in flour. Must be sifted in 50+ mesh. Due to recent worm weather”.
October 15, 2010 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #1185171
sof davar hakol nishmaMember
when i was a kid and impatient about something my older sister told me “hold your horses” my response “my horses are held”
i was reading my little sister a book, who was at the time 2 1/2 and i wasn’t reading that fast, there weren’t that many pictures. after a few minutes she burst out “im losing my patience”
a different sibling was finishing off this 2 1/2 yr old’s breakfast. when she saw this, she burst out “im gona bless you”
October 15, 2010 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #1185172
“If ever a girl was ready for the shidduch market….! “
You don’t know the HALF of it!!!!!!!!!!
October 17, 2010 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #1185173
Pointing to her foot, my two-year old told me she got a boo-boo.
I asked, “On your foot?”
“No, on my sock.”
October 17, 2010 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #1185174
When I was a kid, a neigbor was by my house, and I said to her, “If you touch those flowers, my Totty will give you a potch potch on your henty”.
October 17, 2010 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #1185175
We have to be so-o-o-o-o-o-o careful what we say in front of children. I have a severe knee problem, so I often kvetch when I stand up or sit down. My granddaughter takes this all in and one day when she sat down she said, “OYYYYY,” so I asked her what was wrong. She replied, “My knee hurts me like yours, Bubby.”
October 17, 2010 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1185176
My brother spoke to our 2 and 1/2 year old niece and asked her if she wants him to come over for Shabbos, her response: “no, you’ll get sick of me!” lol.
October 17, 2010 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #1185177
this shabbos i was by my brother and my nephew was telling him about the parsha. he was saying how avraham was trying to get lot back from the kings. he said “they took sand and threw it and it turned into knives, arrows and spare ribs!” he said it so seriously that we could not stop laughing!!!
October 20, 2010 3:17 am at 3:17 am #1185178
My little sister wanted a drink and insisted that only my mother give it to her. In exasperation my mother said, “Do you think it is a mitzva for me to always give you whatever you want when there are plenty of other ppl around to help you?!” My other sister (who was then about 6)piped up, “No- it’s a minhag!”.
October 20, 2010 3:29 am at 3:29 am #1185179
My two year old cousin had a “precious” book of hers that depicted all types of animals. Since this book was so precious to her she read it over and over again until she knew the names of all the anials and how they look.
One day my aunt was leaving a store with this child and an african amerian was kind enough to hold the door open for them. My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.
October 20, 2010 4:41 am at 4:41 am #1185180
October 20, 2010 4:56 am at 4:56 am #1185181
My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.
OY VAVOY!!!!!! How politically incorrect of her!
October 20, 2010 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm #1185182
i help a certain family in e”Y on thursdays, i’ve been with them for over two years.
the oldest daughter is dying for me to get married already (she’s 10) so she can go to the wedding, preferrably as a bridesmaid. she keeps asking me i’m getting married here or in america.
so once i said, what if i get married in america? she said she’ll come anyway, so i told her that tickets are really expensive. so she said she’ll take a boat instead, to which i replied that boats are just as expensive and totally not worth it. so she said she’ll walk and i said, you can’t walk over an ocean, she canged that to swimming, and i asked her if she wouldn’t get tired. so she said
‘so i’ll walk the other way around the world!!”
(ps. when i told her that there was a bigger ocean the other way around, she said – fine, i’ll build a bridge, and don’t you get married within the year cuz that’s how long it’s gonna take me!)
October 20, 2010 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #1185183
That reminds me:
When my oldest was about 4, she used to label people as vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate. (There were 2 chocolate categories: milchig and pareve.)
October 21, 2010 5:23 pm at 5:23 pm #1185184
What did the milchig ppl look like?
October 21, 2010 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #1185185
I was asked to sub a kindergarten class and had about one minute to prepare.
Getting up in front of all these 4 and 5 year olds I asked who knew what was special about that day.
One kid raised his hand and said it was Rosh Chodesh. I was very impressed and asked how he knew. “My Tatty went to shul this morning!”
Then I explained how they could tell it’s Rosh Chodesh by seeing that there’s no moon in the sky…
Next Question: Why was it important to know when Rosh Chodesh was? (I was hoping someone would answer that since I didn’t know what to tell them.)
One kid raised his hand and said, “So that my Mommy will know if she has to put a white shirt on me.”
I had lots of fun that day, but I can’t imagine doing it full time.
October 21, 2010 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #1185186
Why not doc?
October 21, 2010 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1185187
blueberry- chocolate milk
October 25, 2010 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1185188
Here’s another one: My five year old cousin was looking through an old photo album. She came across a picture of my grandfather (who was niftar 5 years before this story happened)and asked, “Is this picture from before Zeidy was niftar or after?”
October 25, 2010 3:47 pm at 3:47 pm #1185189
My five-year old: “Mommy, my love-ment for you is as big as this whole house!”
October 25, 2010 3:50 pm at 3:50 pm #1185190
Two shabbatot ago my parents came over for shabbat. I had put the 4 month old in to sleep and a few hours later he woke up. I took him out of the crib and brought him out to everybody (ok, we were only four people) and my father sang to him softly as he sat on my lap mesmerized. The whole room was quite, besides for my fathers singing. You could hear a pin drop. It was dessert time and someone had watermelon in their plate. they took a bite and it was- ahem- a rather noisy bite… CRUNCH SLUUURRRPP! My son ever so slowly turns his head towards this person(remember, he is zonked!), then ever so slowly turns his head back towards me and laughs!!!
October 25, 2010 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #1185191
My 3yo daughter loves “smash-mallows”
October 25, 2010 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #1185192
My younger brother wants to know if my phone is a “berry”
October 26, 2010 12:52 am at 12:52 am #1185193
Smile E. FaceMember
-i went to chessed and the three year old wanted to know why i had polka dots on my face… i told him Hashem put them there
October 26, 2010 3:30 pm at 3:30 pm #1185194
my sister in law just recently told me this story…
my 6 yr old nephew was talking to his cousin saying “i can’t wait for tomorrow (shabbos…) my mommy makes the best salad… maybe you should watch her… it’s an experience!!!”
October 26, 2010 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #1185195
That reminds me- my little sister MUST have her “kingcumbers” or else she cannot eat her eggs on Shabbos!
October 26, 2010 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #1185196
When my daughter was very young she was EXTREMELY active. One day when she had really been trying my patience I said to her “you are really acting like a child.” She quickly retorted “but I AM a child.” Touche
Same daughter a few years later. My brother A”H (her favorite uncle) said to her “You are really growing up.” Her reply ” I know, I already had a pimple.”
October 27, 2010 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1185197
A friend was babysitting and she saw a really cute picture on the table of one of the kids. She said to one of them your parents must be really adore this picture. No said the child they hate it. Why do you say that she asked. Cos i heard them say they want to blow it up!
October 27, 2010 7:24 am at 7:24 am #1185198
Kid loves to go on the table. Mother constantly telling him: You’re not supposed to be on the table – “Shulchan domeh lmizbeach”…
Mother sees the kid again on the table. Gives him a stern look. And he says “Oh, don’t worry, I already said “Shulchan domeh lmizbeach”…
November 9, 2010 2:06 am at 2:06 am #1185199
I asked my son what he was doing and he said “I’m being cute!”
November 9, 2010 3:12 am at 3:12 am #1185200
vnishmartemmeod, thats like we say Nisht Off Shabbos Geret, and then continue talking…
And, when I go on the table, I say I’m a Kohen and a Kohen is allowed to go on the Mizbeach…
November 9, 2010 3:16 am at 3:16 am #1185201
…Cos i heard them say they want to blow it up!
That reminds me of a joke I just heard.
By a photography store, they shoot you, blow you up and then tell you to hang yourself on the wall…
November 9, 2010 3:28 am at 3:28 am #1185202
when my son was about 2 i would remind him “to behave”; one day he had had enough and shouted, “I’m not being have!”
my husband is a cohen. the first time he took our sons to duchen with him, they were about 5 and 4. The 5 yr old, a sensitive soul, came home in tears: “It was so embarrassing! They took away Tatty’s shoes and he had to stand up in front of the whole shul and they all said ‘Oy, yoy, yoy, oy yoy yoy’ to him!” he really didn’t want to ever go through that again.
our 3.5 yr old daughter was cutting up some paper and making a mess. i asked, wouldn’t you like to be a mitzva girl and clean that up? she said, no, i want to be a teshuva girl and keep doing this till i’m done.
November 9, 2010 3:44 am at 3:44 am #1185203
vnishmartemmeod: that’s like what my sister said when she was about 4. she was climbing a tree and our mother said to stop. my sister kept climbing, my mother said stop, or i’ll potch you. eventually mom did potch her, but my sister kept climbing. mom said, what are you doing? my sister said, you gave me my potch, now leave me alone!
November 10, 2010 12:02 am at 12:02 am #1185204
Smile E. FaceMember
my mother told my 4 yr old brother he could eat his tuna or go fly a kite… he started crying that he doesnt have a kite… (
November 10, 2010 3:43 am at 3:43 am #1185205
My 3 year old asked me if we were going to the store. I told him we were going straight home. He was quiet and then said, “You mean we aren’t gonna turn any times?”
Same kid responding to another claiming to be right handed,”Am I a righty or a wrongy?”
I got upset at my three year old and yelled, “Cut it out already!”. My son looked all teary and said,”don’t yell at us, we’re just kids”
November 10, 2010 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #1185206
We took my 2 year old niece with us to a restaurant and we asked her what soup she wants
She said “kitchen soup” (chicken).
November 11, 2010 4:05 am at 4:05 am #1185208
my student once asked, “If Avraham Avinu and Sarah Emainu were married, why did they have different last names?”
November 11, 2010 4:10 am at 4:10 am #1185209
I was telling my 3 year old the Pesach story and he asked if Paroah was still alive. I said no and he said, “That’s too bad cuz he would be good friends with Haman”
November 11, 2010 4:16 am at 4:16 am #1185210
My two and (almost) a half year old granddaughter woke up with an eye irritation. She told my daughter, “Mommy, someone put my eyes in wrong today!”
November 12, 2010 7:57 am at 7:57 am #1185211
oomis, if she has any siblings who wear contacts, it would make sense.
My sister was singing “tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow…” And my younger sister said “but why don’t you love me today?”
November 14, 2010 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #1185212
Our little angel told us he knew exactly what he wants for chanuka. He wants a jumpaleen. Whats that we asked? He looked puzzled and said its what our neighbours have in their garden and people jump up and down on it!
November 14, 2010 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #1185213
Two siblings were fighting and they envolved there mother so the mother approched the older child and said why cant you act like your father(nature)and give in to your sibling so the child replied sorry i’m also your child(mothers nature).
November 14, 2010 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #1185214
November 14, 2010 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #1185215
ouch but true!!
November 14, 2010 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #1185216
“I was telling my 3 year old the Pesach story and he asked if Paroah was still alive. I said no and he said, “That’s too bad cuz he would be good friends with Haman”
Out of the mouths of babes.
November 26, 2010 12:59 am at 12:59 am #1185217
During a particularly violent thunder storm one night, a child called his mom into his bedroom. “Can you sleep in my bedroom with me” he asked? “I’m so sorry” said his mom, “but daddy wants me to sleep in his bedroom”. The boy looked at her and said “You tell daddy that he’s a big sissy”!!
November 26, 2010 2:02 am at 2:02 am #1185218
About a week after I got up from shiva I went to babysit for my grandkids. My 3 year old pulls on my skirt and said “Bobby did you hear my mother’s grandmother was nifter?” At which point her older sister, my 5 year old goes “hush, that’s bobby’s mother!!!”, so my 3 year old without missing a beat says gently “don’t worry bobby, when mashiach comes she will be “UNdead”!”
I just caught my breath in my mouth I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was just so shocked, the way she put the “UN” together with the word dead. It was just very smart for a three year old who never heard that before. And also how she wanted to make me feel better.
November 26, 2010 4:51 am at 4:51 am #1185219
oomis… your stories never cease to crack me up!!! BRILLIANT!!
and that is a very sweet story aries…..
my 6 year old student came over to me yesterday and said “Morah… i need to see a doctor so they can reshape my head…” so i said “why??” he said “i need someone to reshape my head because no one understands me!!!!” i didnt know whether to laugh or pull him into a gr8 big hug because i felt so sad for him!!
November 26, 2010 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #1185220
cofeefan, give him a hug for me too!
November 28, 2010 2:58 am at 2:58 am #1185221
My 3 year old is telling me all about the “mezonos pasim” which yaakov made for his favorite son Yoseph!
November 29, 2010 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1185222
I was yelling at my four year old sister. she just looked at me very reproachfully and said, ” Big girls are not allowed to yell at little girls!”
December 5, 2010 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #1185223
When our daughter was about to be 2, we taught her to say ‘I am two years old now’ so we could get nachas from her. On her big day she got it almost right. She stood up and proudly announced loudly to everyone:
‘I am too old now’!!!
December 8, 2010 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #1185224
my little sister sings men zugt al hanislech mir danken far di nislech, instead of al hanisim!!!
December 27, 2010 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #1185225
A young boy was sitting at the family computer, typing fiercely. His mother asked “What are you doing?” He replied that he was writing a story. “What’s it about?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I can’t read yet.” 😉
December 27, 2010 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #1185226
My daughter pointed out that we need more “paper toilet”
January 17, 2011 5:38 am at 5:38 am #1185227
Chafetz Chaim- You reminded me of the seder when my brother was one year old and he kept insisting on having “Pizza”. After trying to distract him throughout the seder, we finally reached Motzie Matzah we realized what it was that he wanted when he screamed out “PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!”
January 24, 2011 4:32 am at 4:32 am #1185228
It was this kids great-grandmother’s 90th birthday party and he went over to her and was like, “grandma you’re turning 90? You only look like you’re 87.”
January 24, 2011 8:31 am at 8:31 am #1185229
Travelling back from a family simcha, I was discussing with my wife how long the journey might take depending on what speed I was able to drive.
My young daughter in the back must have been listening cos a few minutes later she asked “How many miles are there in an hour”!
January 24, 2011 11:36 am at 11:36 am #1185230
A family was traveling on a trip and their little daughter kept asking, “How much longer… are we almost there” etc… Finally getting fed up and impatient the mother tells her daughter. “Don’t ask these questions anymore, we will not be there until dark.” After a few minutes the daughter turns to her Mom and says, “Is it almost dark?”
January 24, 2011 12:47 pm at 12:47 pm #1185231
last week my son said brooklyn isn’t safe because MArtin Luther The King was shot on church avenue.
February 4, 2011 12:55 am at 12:55 am #1185232
My mother told my younger sister to pick up the apples that were on the floor…she turned around and was like “I don’t see them.” 🙂 🙂 🙂
February 4, 2011 5:43 am at 5:43 am #1185233
earlier tonight my 3 yr. old granddaughter told me: “King Paroh said: ‘everyone wake up! everyone has to work very hard, making bricks’… with a hammer & a screwdriver!”
February 16, 2011 5:11 am at 5:11 am #1185234
today we were doing a “fun” sheet in my first grade class. we had to circle the things that were real as apposed to fake. one of the fake pictures was a bird that was reading a book. when i got up to that picture i said “can birds read?!” all the boys shouted out NO! one boy then called out “but then how do they use twitter….. ??????” i was shocked but i was laughing so hard!
February 16, 2011 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #1185235
ha ha ha haMember
when my sibling was little and he did something that really got my mummy angry and she was yelling at him not to ever do that again and he was just looking at her with big eyes and said “mummy how come your face is turning red??”
my parents also used to spell things out as their “secret” language and they were saying something and he perks up saying “i can also s-p-e-l-l!!”
February 16, 2011 10:21 pm at 10:21 pm #1185236
heard a story about a chassidishe school the teacher was asking for ways to write notes in short hand eg. bec. , e/th , w/o…
One kid said at home=@ – the teacher was shocked but continued on so as not to make a big deal.
February 17, 2011 12:16 am at 12:16 am #1185237
My two and a half year old granddaughter had a head cold last week, and my daughter said to her, “Mameleh, you need a tissue, your nose is running.” To wish she quickly replied, “Oh – WHERE’S it GOING???”
February 17, 2011 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1185238
my 3 year old gave my 8 month old baby a book to read and was upset when the baby starting biting on the pages. the 3 year old explained to the baby “it’s not fair i still wanted to read that book”.
February 17, 2011 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1185239
My sister was in the car with her friend’s little sister and their mother was driving. When the mother was trying to get passed someone the little girl called out “move you idiot!” Shows how much kids pick up on what people say.
February 20, 2011 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm #1185240
Trying to find out what my kids remembered about purim from last year, I asked them where the word purim comes from. They correctly said its from lots. So I said what does lots have to do with Purim? My son, bless him, said (chayav you’ll like this one) cos on purim we drink lots of wine!
March 10, 2011 1:41 am at 1:41 am #1185241
1. My young daughter asked why on pesach do we only have a seder night and dont also have a bubba night.
2. When my son was very small, he asked why are the middle days of pesach called ‘challa moed’ when surely they should be called ‘matza moed’.
March 10, 2011 5:31 am at 5:31 am #1185242
1. My young daughter asked why on pesach do we only have a seder night and dont also have a bubba night.
That is absolutely adorable!
2. When my son was very small, he asked why are the middle days of pesach called ‘challa moed’ when surely they should be called ‘matza moed’.
I think every child asks this question at some point. It really is confusing for them!
March 10, 2011 2:35 pm at 2:35 pm #1185243
My 17 month old has a tantrum if we say no to giving tzedaka. Its absolutely adorable.
March 14, 2011 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #1185244
My three year old brother was fighting with my five year old sister when he ran into the kitchen and started pouring himself a cup of milk. When my mother asked why, he answered, “I need to be strong to be able to fight!”
March 15, 2011 2:27 pm at 2:27 pm #1185245
My three year old cries when Esther is taken away from Mordechai (on the Purim tape) She once said,”They can’t just grab her and take her away like that. They have to say PLEASE come with us!” She keeps asking me if Esther gets to go back home later. I have struggled with that same issue for years and had no happy answer. Finally, she opened the Gadi Pollck Purimshpiel book and found a picture of Esther in the palace with Mordechai next to her. She ran over to me beaming that they could still see each other!
March 15, 2011 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #1185246
When my 5-year old saw me for the first time after I gave birth, he said, “It looks like you have another baby in your stomach. In how many weeks is it coming out?”
My 2-year old wants “toof-peyos” on her “brush-teef.”
She also wants “kiddush cup” on her macaroni.
(And my husband wants speech therapy for my 2-year old.)
April 7, 2011 1:01 am at 1:01 am #1185247
This thread is the cutest!!
April 7, 2011 1:15 am at 1:15 am #1185248
my 3 y.o. granddaughter is eating some salad. “I found marror!” she said excitedly. =]
April 7, 2011 1:25 am at 1:25 am #1185249
My not yet 3 yr old ainekel was watching a cartoon about a little hippo who likes to paint pictures and wanted to paint a yellow sun. But the hippo accidentally spilled the yellow paint out onto the floor and became very upset – where would she get more paint? So my little wiseapple says very matter-of-factly?” Why doesn’t she just use put her paintbrush in the paint that spilled?”
April 7, 2011 2:51 am at 2:51 am #1185250
I watched my neighbor’s son come home from Cheder all excited as he announced the day’s event: “Today we went to see a Pizza bakery!!!”
April 7, 2011 8:18 am at 8:18 am #1185251
My three-year-old son was shown a picture of a parrot and told that “if you say ‘shalom’ to it, it will say ‘shalom’ back”.
He asked ‘And if I kick it?’
April 14, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #1185252
hahahaha my 2 y/o nephew is being toilet trained and with his haircut comin hes very into when he becomes a big boy. and when hes back to wearing a diaper he says he became a baby. so i was painting my nails, and he asked if he could have some. i said no your a boy, its only for girls. so he said that when he becomes a girl, he’ll start wearing some LOL
July 3, 2011 4:20 am at 4:20 am #1185253
My three yr. old neighbor banged his mouth very badly and his teeth were moved. He cried alot and still complained the next morning. He went to the dentist who just looked at the damage and when he came home, we asked if it still hurt him, to which he repied, “no!, the doctor took away the boo-boo!” He was so cute!!
July 3, 2011 5:33 am at 5:33 am #1185254
A couple of years ago, my mother was packing my oldest (younger) brother up for camp and i took my-then 3 year old brother out of the house so that she could get some work done. After taking him for ice cream, I decided to buy my mother a birthday present since it was only days away. I was very conscious however, that as a child, my little brother could easily give away the secret. So on the way home I trained him:
“Avi, when we get home and mommy asks us what we did, you say ‘we got ice cream’ and nothing else. If she asks you what we did after that, say ‘nothing’ okay?”
And I practiced being my mother, always ending with “and then what did you do?” to hear his response “nothing”.
It was perfect.
When we walked in the door, my mother asked what we did. My brother answered, “We got ice cream”. Step A, complete.
Apparently however, my mother wasnt THAT interested, and she went back to packing.
My brother persisted though,
“Mommy, now you ask me what we did after that!”
Not exactly according to plan 😉
July 3, 2011 6:48 am at 6:48 am #1185255
One of the chevraMember
Before traveling to USA for Pesach with Israeli born 6 yr old, Tati explained to him all about how in America they have 2 days of Yom tov with 2 seder nights etc. After his first shabbos there, before going to shul on Motse Shabbos, he overheard thier host asking if we had said kiddush Levono yet, since they will probably do it after shul tonight. The 7 year old said to his father “Right Tatti?- in America they make kidush tonight also because “THEY KEEP 2 DAYS?????”
July 4, 2011 4:07 am at 4:07 am #1185256
My little brother goes to a school that teaches Yiddish. He came home with his first newsletter from the rebbi. I read it aloud to him and it is written as if the kids are writing what they covered to the parents. So it said Im really catching on quickly to the Yiddish and learning so much…. So with big eyes he looks at me and says, “Ya i really did learn words! I learned that Brrrrrieeefcase (roll the tongue for the ‘r’) means back pack in Yiddish!” It was just so innocent which made it even more funny!!!!!!
July 4, 2011 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #1185257
when my son turned 3 (13 yrs ago), we had a big party because it was his upsherin (he had the most gorgeous long blonde hair – still have it in a bag). anyway, he enjoyed the party and all the attention! the next year, as his 4th birthday was approaching, he excitedly asked “am i having another upsherin party?”
another story. when this same son was 5 yrs. old, we were driving from the midwest (where we live) to new york. i have never driven on the highway, so my husband was doing all the driving. i noticed he was getting tired so i asked if he would like me to take over for a while. suddenly, a little 5 year old voice pipes up from the back of the car… “you’re kidding, right mom?”
July 4, 2011 2:26 pm at 2:26 pm #1185258
gefen: and here we thought you only had daughters.
Your story reminded me, I took my kids to the Jewish library here and one son, who must have been almost 5, asked (pretty loudly) when he was going to have another bris.
So maybe it’s not as traumatic a memory as some people think.
July 4, 2011 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #1185259
this thread is so cute why is it not listed anymore?
July 4, 2011 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #1185260
ursula – well now you know. i do have a son also. i’m sure i’ve mentioned it before. in fact, he’s also on the cr sometimes. anyway, i like your story too.
candy613 – have you tried to figure out who i am yet? or have you never gone back on any threads where i wrote to you? btw – ur story about your little bro is cute.
July 5, 2011 2:11 am at 2:11 am #1185261
a little girl i know asked her mom, “mommy, right im 5 and 3 quarters?” her mother confirmed it. a few seconds later the littler brother said to his mother, “ma, right im 3 and a penny?” so cute!
July 5, 2011 2:39 am at 2:39 am #1185262
When I told my daughter that her savta is also a bobby (we use Hebrew for one and Yiddish for the other for less confusion)she refused to believe me:
“Tatty you’re being silly”
“I’m not, savta is also a bobby”
“Tatty you’re being a joke”
She’s still not convinced.
July 5, 2011 2:59 am at 2:59 am #1185263
in the toddler classroom i work in, there are two “little tykes” cars that the kids love playing with. every time a kid would get into one of them, one of us teachers would say “where are you going,(insert name)?” and they would give all diff answers (bubbies house, the store, the park…) but we were taken aback when one kid (mind you, he is three) excitedly told us “we’re going swimming in the mikva!” whoa. out of the mouths of babes!
July 5, 2011 12:08 pm at 12:08 pm #1185264
My neighbor’s five year old son wanted his parents to play stratego with him. They told him we don’t know how to play.
His response: ok I will just ask yossi (a different neighbor of mine) to play. He is a smart man. Even smarter than mommy, daddy, and Hashem!
😀 Zuberman! 😀
July 5, 2011 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #1185265
We told our daughter that Hashem is up in Shamayim.
When she was four, we were flying in a plane. As we were approaching the destination, the captain got on the intercom to announce that we were landing soon. My daughter, hearing a voice from nowhere, asked “Is that Hashem talking?”
August 2, 2011 10:49 pm at 10:49 pm #1185266
My brother was in camp and he called home to tell me mother that he caught a big snapping turtle. my mother told him to put it back in the lake and not to bring it home. My brother said he would just take of the shell and bring it home to use as a bowl. My mother told him that its not a kosher animal so we can’t use it but my brother had a solution. He answered, “So we can toivel it!!!”
It was so cute! He was really trying to think of a reason to bring it home!!!
August 2, 2011 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm #1185267
I know a girl who’s mom goes to Adelphi University. When the girl saw her mom use a Dell computer she said “mommy I know why you’re using a DELL computer…cuz you go to aDELLphi”
August 3, 2011 12:13 am at 12:13 am #1185268
I was on the sidewalk outside our house with my daughter when a guy walked past with a dalmation dog. ‘Hey’ my daughter called out, ‘that dog has the measles’
August 3, 2011 1:31 am at 1:31 am #1185269
we were on a trip with the daycamp, and we passed a cemetery. one of my campers piped up and said “look morah– look how many ppl are buried here!”
September 12, 2011 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #1185270
My granddaughter said her Mora told her that Antiochus was a bad king because he wouldn’t let the yidden play dreidl.
September 12, 2011 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #1185271
My son went to Miami. I asked my granddaughter where Tatty went and she said “He went to Hisami”.
September 12, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1185272
When the paint was peeling from our ceiling, my 3 year old said, there’s a rip on the roof.
September 12, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1185273
September 12, 2011 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm #1185274
my younger brother was playing with a toy train at the shabbos seudah. the toy slipped out of his hands and landed with a splash in his soup. he proceeded to ball his eyes out. we told him it was ok and we could dry it off. ” no “he replied,” you dont undewstand! now my toy is fleithigs!! “
October 31, 2011 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #1185275
Last night, my wife sent my daughter to a neighbor for something a little after her usual bedtime when I was not at home.
This morning on the way to school, she said to me: “I went to our neighbor yesternight”!!!
October 31, 2011 5:51 pm at 5:51 pm #1185276
when we made an upsherin last week Thur., 29 Tishrei, for my twins, my 7 year old daughter came running into my room that morning and in all seriousness exclaimed,” Tatty, I think we made a big mistake! Today is Oct 27! Their birthday is TOMORROW (oct. 28)!
November 1, 2011 1:04 am at 1:04 am #1185277
My little one saw a picture of a deer with antlers and said a moose has “earrings” also.
My kids saw the moon one night when it was cloudy in the sky and said “the moon is very frizzy” (fuzzy).
November 1, 2011 2:10 am at 2:10 am #1185278
A few months ago, my wife was lighting candles for Shabbos. My little daughter asked me, “What’s Mommy doing?”
I answered, “She’s davening while she lights candles.”
“Can I daven with Mommy?”
“Of course! Go daven with her!”
“Daddy, what do we daven for?”
“Whatever you want. You can ask Hashem for anything!”
So she walks over to my wife, puts her hands over her eyes, and says out loud, “Hashem, can You please make me a pizza?”
November 1, 2011 2:30 am at 2:30 am #1185279
LOL! Feif, that’s hilarious!!
November 1, 2011 9:24 am at 9:24 am #1185280
Years ago, I had to get up early to get to a carpool to commute to northern Virginia. I noticed some bloody Kleenex in the bathroom garbage, so I assumed one of my kids had a nosebleed overnight and my wife took care of it.
I called my wife from work during the day to ask her about it, and she said she saw the Kleenex and assumed that I had taken care of the nosebleed.
At dinner that night, I asked the kids if any of them had a nosebleed the previous night. My five year old told me she did, and that she took care of it herself. I asked her, “Why didn’t you wake me up to help you?” She answered, “Abba, I didn’t want to wake you up. It was kibud Av.”
Boy, was I stunned by that. Talk about a story to remember!
November 1, 2011 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #1185281
mamashtakah- lots of nachas! she should stay so good!
January 24, 2012 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #1185282
So cute… My little daughter said that she loves the new cd. Which one we asked. She replied slowly – of the My Yummy Boys Choir…
January 24, 2012 8:45 pm at 8:45 pm #1185283
I like that shticky guy! Little kids have interpretations of their own for everything!
January 25, 2012 2:12 am at 2:12 am #1185284
I was reading a book about Winnie the Pooh who was fishing in a river and I read, “Suddenly, he felt a big jerk on the line, and he pulled up a wet and soggy Piglet”. My 3 year old asked, “why did he call Piglet a jerk?”
January 25, 2012 4:47 am at 4:47 am #1185285
I asked my 3 year old if I should tell him a secret.
He said (of course) Yes.
I whispered into his ear “I love you SO SO SO much”
His response: That’s not a secret!!!!
My now 7 year old was at a specialist’s office when she was 3. She loved the nurse. She turns to me as we were leaving. “Isn’t Kerry a girl?” I’m wondering what she’s getting at… I respond “yes”
She responds: “so why is she wearing pants?!?!” I was somewhat mortified because Kerry was right next to us (she’s a goy). She turned around and smiled “my, she’s so perceptive!” (that was nice of her!!)
I was so surprised because we don’t make a big deal about pants. Personally, I like girls once they’re walking in dress/squirt/jumper. There’s no “ok, now we’re not wearing pants anymore” as we do with socks switch to tights…)
January 25, 2012 9:59 pm at 9:59 pm #1185286
I was babysitting my cousin, who was 3, and we were in my basement, which has a few phones that are disconnected. She picks one up and starts to “talk” to her mommy at work. When she “hangs up”, I pick up another phone and say, “ring ring ring, Esti,” and she immediately says “You can’t call me! You can see me!”
The same cousin also came over to me when I was at her house and says, “My morah’s name is morah Etti! Just like me!” So I assumed that her morah’s name was Esti. The I read her newsletter and on the bottom it says, “love morah ETTY.”
It took a while to convince her that her name had an S in it.
A friend once told me that her niece told her that her best friend’s name was Sardine. My friend said that she nearly choked when she heard that. (Her name was Sara Dina.)
March 30, 2012 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #1185287
“Mommy, I know why this Shabbos is called Shabbos Hagodal”, says my smarty son. “Because Pesach we say the Hagaddal!”
May 16, 2012 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #1185288
As I was opening my camera, my daughter asked me if she can see my remembery card!
I love the posts in this thread.
May 17, 2012 1:22 pm at 1:22 pm #1185289
When we were young, my then-3-yr-old sister and her friend were playing in my grandmother’s backyard. There was this dark-skinned neighbor next door resting in the sun on his lawn chair, and the 2 girls didn’t notice him till he got up from his nap about an hour later. I noticed they both stopped playing and stared at the person heading toward his house. They stood there frozen as my sister pointed to him innocently (there weren’t too many black/dark-skinned people in our neighborhood then) and remarked in a hushed whisper, “look! A bear-man!”
May 17, 2012 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #1185290
my younger sister to my father very emphatically: “totty i’m smarter than you”
totty: really? why is that?
sister: because i go to kindergarten and you only go to work!
May 17, 2012 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #1185291
When I told my 4 year old we cancelled the internet she said, “what?! how could you do that with <siblings> in Israel waiting for emails!”
May 25, 2012 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1185292
Last night, my daughter told me “On Shavuos, we drink 4 cups of wine because the Maccabim won the fight!”
May 25, 2012 4:57 pm at 4:57 pm #1185293
You’re daughter forgot that we drink them in the succah!
May 29, 2012 4:54 am at 4:54 am #1185294
Da Hollyvooda RebbaMember
We were driving to Yosemite (Mountiany;good chance for a deer) and my father was driving a little fast so my mother scream at my father “Dear” “Dear” so my little brother says “where where?” “where’s the deer”!
June 22, 2012 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm #1185295
My daughter asked my father to carry her. I can’t carry you he said you’re too heavy for me. No I’m not she said, my father can carry me and you’re older than him… ☺
June 23, 2012 12:00 am at 12:00 am #1185296
Love it shticky. My daughter was with a friend of ours who is deaf and she ran to me saying, “look what I learned to say in silent language!”
June 23, 2012 12:01 am at 12:01 am #1185297
Love it shticky. My daughter was with a friend of ours who is deaf and she ran to me saying, “look what I learned to say in silent language!”
June 23, 2012 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #1185298
My friend just moved to Israel and her 4yr old son is very interested in the slugs that come out each mornjng a few days ago he made a little starting and finishing line to gave a little race between two slugs. The loser’s.prize is getting g stepped on while the winners prize is that he gets to watch his friend get stepped kn first, then its his turn!
June 24, 2012 2:09 am at 2:09 am #1185299
My little sister said “I want ice cream”. My mother said to her “you did not say please!” So she said “please can I want some ice cream”…
June 24, 2012 3:25 am at 3:25 am #1185300
I told my 5 year old son, “it’s really hot in our house,” to which he answered, “you know why? Cuz I’m shvitzing”.
I said, “why? Your shvitzing doesn’t make the house hot.” And he answers so innocently and seriously,
“Of course it does, I’m shvitzing and I’m walking around all over the house, no wonder it’s so warm here!”
June 24, 2012 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #1185301
SL…You have doublepostititis!!!
June 24, 2012 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1185302
I came into an office with my 4yo daughter.
there was a fish tank with exotic fish..
and a machine that was causing a lot of noise.
pointing at the machin she asks me ‘whats that?’
to which I answered ‘a filter’
so she asked me back ‘dais iz gefilte fish?’
July 4, 2012 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #1185303
We’re traveling on July 4th, using a GPS for directions. Our little one says “sharp left! Navigate to the nearest pizza store”. Lol!!!
July 19, 2012 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1185304
We were telling the kids about reb elyashiv zatzal and mentioned that all the world media were talking about is the size of his levaya and the fact that he saw 6 generations ie his great great great grandchildren. My daughter asked me – is that on his side or his wife’s side
July 29, 2012 8:40 pm at 8:40 pm #1185305
two of my adorable nephews were fighting over whether hashem has a last name
of course he does said the brighter one of the two its yerachem
July 30, 2012 5:48 am at 5:48 am #1185306
My little daughter came into the kitchen and wanted some small cookies. We told her she could take 3. A few minutes later we caught her taking another 3. Take 2 and that’s it we said.Ok she says, but instead of putting back a cookie she took more! What are you doing we asked her. You said take 2 cookies so I am, she said innocently (or not).
August 9, 2012 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1185307
when my cousin was 2, she thought e/o with a beard was uncle moishy. during biur chametz, anyone who passed by with beard she called out “Moishy”. one man, upon hearing this, turned around and asked shocked, ” how on earth does she know my name!!!”
August 9, 2012 4:56 am at 4:56 am #1185308
My son was playing doctor one day. He says to me “open your eyes, open your mouth, let me listen to your ear…” (and he puts his ear smack up against mine to listen).
August 9, 2012 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #1185310
August 10, 2012 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #1185311
My son asked why it stopped raining, so I said because H’ wanted it to. He asked “did He pull a lever to stop it?”
September 3, 2012 4:45 am at 4:45 am #1185312
My son encountered a math problem (only 1 out of hundreds) that seemed to possibly suggest using a calculator.
Soon after, when we go shopping for school supplies, he insists he needs a calculator. When I point out it was only for one question he says “I’m not allowed to use my brain! It’s cheating!”
September 28, 2012 12:10 am at 12:10 am #1185313
My young daughter was insistent that her teacher had told them that on yom kippur all the men go to shul and to look like malochim they all wear white tichels…
September 28, 2012 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #1185314
Ken Zayn: LOL!! (that one really had me laughing out loud!)
My 3 yr old made a paper shofar wrapped around with a whistle at the end. When I told him before Rosh Hashana we have to put it away for yom tov (it was muktza), he insisted that he has to bring it to shul. He explained, “And then when all the Tattys take out THEIR shofar I will take MINE out and blow too”
September 29, 2012 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #1185315
As a kindergarten teacher I hear some great pearls of wisdom…
During davening time the I sometimes had to mention that not everyone was sitting nicely, to which all of them would then start saying that they were listening/ sitting nicely/ not messing around etc. This got quite tiring so I used to tell them “I know who was sitting nicely and not sitting nicely, B”H I’ve got 2 eyes”. One morning this happened so I said, as usual “I can see who was davening nicely” to which a girl called out “B”H you’ve got 2 eyes!”
When I was expecting my baby, I was around 7 months when one of my kids asked me “Why do you have a fat tummy?”. I asked the girl “Why do you think?” to which she replied “Maybe cause you eat too much?”
I had to bring my baby into work one morning cause she wasn’t well enough to go to daycare (we call it creche here). One of my kids had the same name as my baby and commented “Her name means me.”
September 30, 2012 3:27 am at 3:27 am #1185316
My 5 year old saw me crying during neilah and asked why I was crying. I said it was because I was davening hard to Hashem to give us a good, healthy year. She answered, “and you’re crying cuz maybe he won’t?”
October 19, 2012 12:05 am at 12:05 am #1185317
One of my kids have just begun learning the script alef-bais. Today she came in excitedly from school and proudly announced that she can now write a script gimmel and she wrote one. I told her that in a few days she will be learning the script zayin and it is the exact same as the gimmel besides that you write it the other way round. Oh she said, you mean you start at the bottom and write it going up to the top? ☺
October 28, 2012 11:25 pm at 11:25 pm #1185318
This is turning into my own private diary. I look forward to looking at it in the future and getting nachas.
My daughter came home from school this friday ???? ?? ?? with a box and a lady in it. “Who’s in the box” asked her. ” ??? ” she said proudly. “And who put ??? in the box” I asked her? “I did” she said!
October 29, 2012 9:19 pm at 9:19 pm #1185319
when my sister was 3, she learnt about the mabul. later on, the teacher was warning the class not to put too much toilet paper in the toilet because it could cause a flood. for months my sister was petrified to flush the toilet. in her mind, she put a mabul and a toilet flood together and assumed that if she flushes the toilet, the whole world will be flooded.
October 30, 2012 5:04 am at 5:04 am #1185320
we had my sister in law over with her kids for shabbos and I was single at the time.They were setting the table and for some reason I was standing in the kitchen. Her 2 yr old son asks ,”Mommy, why isn’t ____ helping?”
October 30, 2012 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #1185321
My 4 year old boy celebrated his (hebrew) birthday in school 2 weeks ago with a nice big cake for him and his classmates. He had such a great time he couldn’t stop talking about it for the next few days.
This past Shabbos, in the middle of the shabbos seudah, it occured to me that it was his english birthday. I announced,”Hey everybody, today is October 27, it’s Shloime’s english birthday!”
My son’s bright eyes opened wide at the news of his birthday, and he excitedly asked, “So now I’m 5??”
November 23, 2012 3:57 pm at 3:57 pm #1185322
“Clown fish live in the ocean…. In an m, n, m, n, m, n, nee”
January 26, 2013 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #1185323
In the UK it began snowing heavily as shabbos/tu bishvat came in. This morning, while looking out of the windows at the beautiful pure white scene outside, the kids said that it has snowed on tu bishvat to put a kittel on the trees as its rosh hashana for them!
January 27, 2013 1:02 am at 1:02 am #1185324
rlly funny… my 4 yr old brother went to skool “two lesterdays ago” and then my 2 yr old sis is like ” its YESTERday not lesterday!!” 1st shes correctin him and then shes not even realizing wats wrong w two yesterdays ago..
January 27, 2013 1:07 am at 1:07 am #1185325
Adorable the things that come out of kids mouths :).
January 27, 2013 5:47 am at 5:47 am #1185326
“my mouth is broken”
January 27, 2013 6:36 am at 6:36 am #1185327
or when “my eye broke” like someone poked it..
January 27, 2013 1:31 pm at 1:31 pm #1185328
One of my girls (in first grade at the time) won a raffle at the motzei Shabbat learning at her school. It was a two volume set, called “The Illustrated Mishnayoth Shabbath – Mishnayos Shabbos with The Commentary of R’ Ovadia M’Bartinura.”
A few weeks later as we’re eating on a Friday night, she brings the first volume over to me, saying, “Abba, read this to me, I won it, please read it to me.”
So, I opened it to the first mishna. As you probably know, it has to do with two men, one inside a house and the other outside, and they’re extending their hands into and out of the house, handing each other something on Shabbat. I’m trying to explain everything to this poor six year old kid, who is just looking at me. Finally she asks, “Abba, are you making this up?”
September 12, 2013 10:36 pm at 10:36 pm #1185329
We didn’t get to ????? on ??? ???? so we decided to go today. As we were about to go, my little one said “where are my aveiros? I need to take them with and feed them to the fishies”
December 5, 2013 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #1185330
I was giving my baby medicine and my 2 yr old wanted to know why she was not getting any. I told her because baruch Hashem she was not sick. So she asked “And baruch Hashem _____ (baby) is sick?”
I was telling her about chanuka and I explained that she might get presents from her bubbies. So I asked her – what do we do when a bubby gives us a present? To which she answered “we take it home and play with it!”
She wanted to wear a skirt one day so I told her when she gets really big she will wear a skirt. So she asked “and when totty gets big he will also wear a skirt?”
February 15, 2014 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #1185331
My 6 year old brother was coughing and it sounded like he may throw up. So my other brother said, “Lipa, where are you going to throw up?” His reply, “On your plate!”
February 16, 2014 3:53 am at 3:53 am #1185332
September 28, 2014 4:28 pm at 4:28 pm #1185333
My mother gave our guest’s young daughter a piece of cake. Her mother prompted her, “So? What do you say?”
“Can I have another one?”
Happened to someone I know – a young girl used to wake up every morning in a really bad mood, and would throw tantrums, cry, and generally be very hard to deal with. One day, when the girl threw a tantrum just after waking up, her mother finally had enough. “That’s it! Tomorrow, you are not going to wake up in a bad mood. I want you to wake up in a happy mood! A jolly mood! A cheerful mood!”
The girl burst into tears and said, “I can’t wake up in so many moods!”
September 28, 2014 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm #1185334
And also – my niece said to her three-year-old sister, “You’re face is dirty.”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “So don’t look!”
Our family went out one day together with my married siblings. My mother was writing her cell on every kid’s hand, and my nephew wanted to know why. “In case you get lost, so people will know how to bring you home,” my mother answered. To which my nephew replied, “If I get lost, I’ll just tell someone I live in the house next to my neighbor’s.”
September 28, 2014 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #1185335
This thread is adorable!
September 28, 2014 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1185336
My son was in agony waiting to have root a canal. He said to me, “You know what? I wish I could just delete this tooth!”
It’s a new world . . .
September 29, 2014 5:21 am at 5:21 am #1185337
That’s so funny and so true! Yes my nephew drew a picture for his friend who was sick, and I told him he would have to wait until his friend came back to preschool to give it to him. He thought for a moment, then said, “Can’t you just put it in your phone and send it to him?”
September 29, 2014 8:03 am at 8:03 am #1185338
I remember reading this thread two years ago (pre-registration)! How can it be that old?!
September 29, 2014 1:12 pm at 1:12 pm #1185339
Huh? Pre-registration? Waddya mean by that? And yes, it IS old. But I thought it was worth reminding everybody about 🙂
September 29, 2014 1:22 pm at 1:22 pm #1185340
Another one: my nephew came back from a classmate’s bar mitzvah, and my sister was questioning him about the menu. “And what did they serve for dessert?” she asked. “Chocolate mousse,” he answered, then added, “And fruit salad, cake and chocolates.” (I don’t remember the exact foods so I’m making them up, but he mentioned a few.) My sister was impressed. “Wow! So you mean, on top of the chocolate mousse, they had fruit salad, cake and chocolates, as well?”
“No,” my nephew answered, in all seriousness, “the fruit salad, cake and chocolates were on the side, next to the chocolate mousse.”
September 29, 2014 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #1185341
September 30, 2014 1:27 pm at 1:27 pm #1185342
My three year old says some hilarious things. Yesterday I said something about Hashem being in charge of the whole world and He can see everything. She replied “serious? “
September 30, 2014 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #1185343
My nephew was crying, so his brother (who was three at the time) asked, “Dovi, why are you leaking?”
October 20, 2014 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #1185345
My friends sister had a birthday, so I asked her, “Wow, Batsheva! How old are you now? Are you six?”
She replied, “Yes. But I used to be five!” (Like, really??)
I was reading a joke book to my niece, the question was “What is always coming, but never arrives?” (The answer was “tomorrow”)
“Moshiach” she replied 🙂
October 20, 2014 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #1185347
Coz, I am shepping nachas from your family’s remarks. So cute!
October 20, 2014 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm #1185348
wow gr8 story
October 20, 2014 3:31 pm at 3:31 pm #1185349
oomis – thanks! me too 😀
showjoe – “gr8 story” what did you mean (as in, what was that in reference to)?
October 20, 2014 3:47 pm at 3:47 pm #1185350
the moshiach story, so sweet and pure
October 21, 2014 12:49 am at 12:49 am #1185351
October 26, 2014 12:58 pm at 12:58 pm #1185352
A bunch of kids were making a “cup castle” while visiting Zaidy and Bubby. Their father saw what they were doing and said, “What are you doing? You’re wasting all Bubby’s cups!” To which the kids responded, “Not ALL her cups!”
October 26, 2014 1:24 pm at 1:24 pm #1185353
LOL Sidi! You just reminded me of a really funny story…..unfortunately it would never get approved but it was something like that 😀
October 26, 2014 1:29 pm at 1:29 pm #1185354
Alter the Thread TitlerParticipant
But it’s apikorsus, also I think the other one!
October 26, 2014 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #1185355
(This isn’t the story, just another one that I thought of)
My sister walked into the playroom and it was a HUGE mess. She started telling her kids off. “THIS is what I call…..!!” As she was trying to come up with an appropriate adjective to describe the state of the room, my three-year-old nephew pipes up, “Um…..losing the plot??”
October 26, 2014 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm #1185356
“But it’s apikorsus, also I think the other one!”
Huh?? Which ones are apikorsus and why??
October 26, 2014 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1185357
My 9 year old –
If I had a choice of going to school versus not going to school I would pick going to school because I know it’s good for me. . . it’s just the teachers that ruin it.
October 26, 2014 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm #1185358
SL, that is cute!
October 28, 2014 10:44 am at 10:44 am #1185359
My brother’s family is going overseas soon and my niece (the one from the Moshiach story 😉 ) said that they might go shopping while they are there. She said to me, “Maybe we’ll buy something! But maybe not. Because it’s enough that my parents are paying for this whole trip, and the planes, which cost a lot.” And this is coming from a second-grader…..
October 28, 2014 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm #1185360
“But it’s apikorsus, also I think the other one!”
Huh?? Which ones are apikorsus and why??
I was reading a joke book to my niece, the question was “What is always coming, but never arrives?” (The answer was “tomorrow”)
“Moshiach” she replied 🙂
but not, in fact, this one
My three year old says some hilarious things. Yesterday I said something about Hashem being in charge of the whole world and He can see everything. She replied “serious? “
By the way, how exactly does a 3-year-old come
to know a phrase like “losing the plot?”
Oh, and I had a post explaining why I thought you weren’t from America, but it was rejected, as various posts about how I know things have been (no, really!). I’ll try and edit it to be acceptable sometime, b’li neder.
October 28, 2014 1:48 pm at 1:48 pm #1185361
On Erev Yom Tov, my 5-year-old brother
asked my father why our sukkah didn’t have
a door. He answered, “When you’ll be
a totty, you’ll make a sukkah with a door,
and I’ll come to your sukkah.”
The response he got was
“When I’ll be a totty, you might be dead.”
October 28, 2014 2:05 pm at 2:05 pm #1185362
I can’t post jokes here cuz my kids might read them and I’m being anonymous here!
October 29, 2014 6:33 am at 6:33 am #1185363
“I was reading a joke book to my niece, the question was “What is always coming, but never arrives?” (The answer was “tomorrow”)
“Moshiach” she replied :)”
How on earth is that apikorsus? Remember this kid is a second-grader!! If anything it’s just the opposite!
“By the way, how exactly does a 3-year-old come
to know a phrase like “losing the plot?” “
lol my sister always says that when one of her kids goes absolutely nuts (hyper/tantrum/crazy) “Oh no, <insert name of child> has totally lost the plot…….”
October 29, 2014 7:27 am at 7:27 am #1185364
Randomex – that’s so cute:)! My sil was telling me someone in her family once asked, how old does someone have to be when they start talking with a funny accent? (Coz all the old people s/he knows are Holocaust survivors lol)
October 30, 2014 5:25 am at 5:25 am #1185366
Randomex would you please enlighten me as to how that was apikorsus….
October 30, 2014 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #1185367
Sigh… I tried. I hate when long posts are rejected. It’s more work. Then again, maybe it was because of the length. I’ll try posting it in pieces…
Actually, maybe it was something else. I’ll take that out too.
I just noticed (again – I’d forgotten about it) that this thread has
a “tag” in the upper right corner – those eventually stopped being used. I wonder what happens when it’s clicked on?
October 30, 2014 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #1185370
Okay. “Alter’s” post was allowed, and your post
was allowed, but my post is not allowed (yet).
Maybe if I broke it into smaller pieces and tried
those one by one?
October 30, 2014 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #1185371
“How on earth is that apikorsus?”
Believing he’s coming (always!) doesn’t mean believing he never will arrive isn’t apikorsus, but it’s not clear that the child actually meant that.
December 23, 2014 1:36 pm at 1:36 pm #1185375
“But it’s apikorsus, also I think the other one!”
Sooo not your style, Randomex! Are you sure it was you?
December 23, 2014 1:51 pm at 1:51 pm #1185376
I was looking after a few kids, and gave them each a lollipop. We were playing the game “If you went to bed before 7, take 4 licks, if you ate cereal for breakfast, take one lick” etc. On of the girls said, “If you drank beer today, take 7 licks.” Being that these kids are about 6/7, I made an assumption and said “Ruti, no-one here drank beer.”
“Yes, I did!” she said. Then, “Oh, wait. I’m getting confused with apple juice.” 😀 (Now that made sense.)
December 23, 2014 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1185377
As a little girl, I used to mix up my colors. I once walked up to a black woman and said “lady, why are you blue?”
December 23, 2014 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #1185378
i once came down with food posioning and had bad stomach pains and was throwing up. My four year old asked me if i wasnt feeling well because i ate too much nosh.
same child: if u squeeze oranges you get orange juice, if you squeeze apples you get apple juice, if you squeeze tomatoes you get tomato dip, if you squeeze watermelon you get water
December 23, 2014 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #1185380
my daughter was coloring with crayon and after a while i noticed some colorful lines on her face. i asked her who colored on her and she tells me, “nobody, it came like that” (in this all-knowing tone kids use)
this same daughter was drawing a pic of the family. my little one, almost 3 asks her “which one is mine”? so she points to a stick figure. the little one says “put me on a big mouth. i have a big mouth”
December 23, 2014 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #1185381
When my daughter was 6 years old in first grade she had to do math homework of 1+1 and 1+2 and such, I see her take a calculator to do it. I asked her why? She told me “because I want to be sure I do it right”.
December 24, 2014 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1185382
Upon passing a church and seeing a big tzlav with yashka, one of my kids says “I’m scared mommy… On that church they have a hanged man…a dead man”.
I could not stop laughing!
December 24, 2014 12:45 am at 12:45 am #1185383
“What makes the germs make us sick? I think it’s because they don’t take a bath. They’re the dirtiest things in the world.”
When I said amen to a bracha: “mommy, only men say a-men, girls say a-main”
January 20, 2015 7:54 pm at 7:54 pm #1185385
In December my 6 year old daughter comes home and says her Morah told her there won’t be bus service next week because the puppet schools(public schools) are closed
January 20, 2015 11:16 pm at 11:16 pm #1185386
The puppet schools were open?
February 22, 2015 1:45 am at 1:45 am #1185387
my nephew was reading a book on shabbos, and he read the word “Dr” as “Dister”. His reasoning was that if “Mr” was “Mister”, then “Dr” must be “Dister”….
February 22, 2015 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1185388
I read this post:
and it reminded me of a time when a kid was explaining to me how colors work. “Why is purple purple? Coz it likes grapes! Why is yellow yellow? Coz it eats lots of lemons! Why is black black? Coz it eats lots of lollies and doesn’t brush its teeth!”
February 22, 2015 2:21 am at 2:21 am #1185389
February 22, 2015 10:30 am at 10:30 am #1185390
February 22, 2015 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm #1185391
We got to a store and I realized that I didn’t have my pocketbook on me so my 2 said why don’t we go buy some money?
February 22, 2015 1:38 pm at 1:38 pm #1185392
*2 year old
February 22, 2015 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1185393
I like to explore how kids think, so when a friend’s son was about to celebrate his 4th birthday I asked him: “How many years did it take you to turn 4?”
He thought for a moment and announced “6 years!”
April 2, 2015 5:55 am at 5:55 am #1185394
My niece got a toy doctor’s set as a present. She was showing me all the parts and explaining their functions. She pointed to one piece and said, “That’s to measure your blood precious.”
I like to have the music on blaring and my brother-in-law doesn’t really like it. One time, my niece said to me, “Tatty says we’re making enough noise to wake the beds.”
May 4, 2015 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #1185395
Someone thinks EY is in the sky because you get there from the US with an airplane.
May 5, 2015 1:11 am at 1:11 am #1185396
nisht gedaiget yiddenMember
Once my brother was telling my mother that he wanted something to eat right before dinner time and my mother didn’t let him, so she told him that some people don’t have food. My other brother butt in “Yeah, like dead people”
May 5, 2015 1:56 am at 1:56 am #1185397
i have two cousins and one name starts with a Tzadik and the younger one starts with an Alef. So my aunt said to the older kid “wow you are such a big Tzadik” so the younger one pipes in”And i’m a big Alef”
May 5, 2015 2:01 am at 2:01 am #1185398
we had my one of my cousins over for shabbos and my brother was trying to put him to sleep but my cousin wanted to stay up longer so my brother says to the 3 years old “Come X put on your PJ and well have a PJ party”. So my cousin turns to him and says” That’s silly uncle X we don’t eat our PJ”
May 5, 2015 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #1185399
I saw a child take a Sefer, throw it on the floor, pick it up and kiss it…
A child wanted me to do something and i did not want to do he says to me, “You have an Aveirah!”
May 10, 2015 10:42 am at 10:42 am #1185400
I asked my niece if she had washed her hands after the bath, and she replied, “Indeed, I washed them.” 😉
June 11, 2015 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1185401
When my younger sister was two and a half, she got a few shots by the doctor. After, my grandmother asked her about the appointment. My sister started describing what happened, and then she said, “and then he made a boo-boo and put ketchup on it.” 😉
June 11, 2015 3:28 am at 3:28 am #1185402
When I was little, my grandmother took me to the zoo. Apparently the bears looked like they were having a good time playing with balls, because I pointed at their cage and said “in ere” (in there)! I wanted to have fun with them!
August 21, 2015 3:29 am at 3:29 am #1185403
Kid 1: We really look like each other.
Kid 2: Yeah, we both have earrings!
August 23, 2015 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #1185404
standing on the edge of his high chair my nephew had this to say when admonished that he would fall “i have a diaper”
November 22, 2015 7:39 am at 7:39 am #1185405
My name’s Randomex. What’s yours?Participant
I recently heard someone use the phrase
“lose the plot” and thought of this thread.
December 14, 2015 8:48 am at 8:48 am #1185406
Two boys (3-5) were playing “Totty and Mommy”. One boy said to the other, “I’m the Totty and you will cook all day and you won’t have any ??.”
The poor mother…
December 14, 2015 11:51 pm at 11:51 pm #1185407
My kid was taught to kiss the mezuzah, but thinks they should kiss every picture hanging on a wall that they pass…
December 15, 2015 11:32 am at 11:32 am #1185408
Don’t buy the bottles of Coke with santa on them, unless you don’t mind if your kid calls him a tzaddik.
December 15, 2015 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #1185409
Keep the posts on this thread coming- I need more laughs!!:)
June 5, 2016 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm #1185410
A child said to me ????? ??? ??????…
June 5, 2016 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #1185411
My then 18 Month old was kvetching at me.
I said do you want to eat?
Do you want a drink?
Do you want to play? “Noo”
DO you want to say No?
(His eyes lit up)
He then turned to his big brother, made a patching motion and said “No!!” and looks at me with a BIG smile:-)
My older kid(like 3 years old) looks around the house and says: “Mommy! Your House is FLYING!!”=]
June 5, 2016 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #1185412
mominjerusalem, welcome back to the CR: and very cute stories!
June 6, 2016 7:51 am at 7:51 am #1185413
I like to pop in every once in a while- don’t usually have time for it=]
June 6, 2016 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #1185414
Me too… Haven’t been around lately.
June 6, 2016 8:30 pm at 8:30 pm #1185415
I work as a teachers aide in an elementary school that has a day called grandparents day where the kids grandparents come in and see what a day in school for their grandchild is like. This year they hired people for valet parking for the grandparents. I was in the 3rd grade boys classroom and one of the boys told the teacher “the school hired car-waiters!” 🙂
June 6, 2016 10:38 pm at 10:38 pm #1185416
June 7, 2016 7:22 am at 7:22 am #1185417
My 3.5 yr old son is in a gan that’s transitioning english speakers to hebrew. Well he often says random things that I don’t know where he came up with…
He love to scream out “Pach Shelo Ani!!”
I have absolutely no idea where he came up with that one!
There are more of those I can’t think of.
June 7, 2016 7:40 am at 7:40 am #1185418
I teach a dance class and we were doing stretching with my 3 year old students. I have them reach to their legs and pretend they are grabbing a prize. When I ask what prizes the got I usually get answers like cupcakes, bracelets, ice cream and the like.
Well, one adorable girl very seriously answered “Toes!” 🙂
September 12, 2016 11:40 am at 11:40 am #1185419
A kid was “practicing” blowing the shofar and said, “Tekiah ketanah”!
October 1, 2016 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #1185420
My 4 year old was sharing with us what she learned about Rosh Hashana in school- she was listing off the 4 names- Rosh Hashana, Yom HaDin, Yom Terua and Yom HaIparon. You know, because Hashem remembers what we do and writes it down in the Sefer Hatzaddikim. (This same child thinks we fast on “tissue bov”)
October 2, 2016 4:32 am at 4:32 am #1185421
my kids were having supper ..franks and blanks…,when I came in to see who had finished..one of them excitedly told me “I ate the frank and even the wrapper!!!”
October 6, 2016 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #1185422
more words from the wise. 4 yr old daughter wants an esrog like her brothers, but a girl type, in pink and purple.
March 27, 2017 7:26 am at 7:26 am #1244374
My niece told me, “Hashem loves the Yehudim because they are tznius. But sometimes they are not tznius, but He loves them anyhow.”
March 27, 2017 7:30 am at 7:30 am #1244373
At the end of the Shabbos seudah, my sister wanted to take my 5-year old niece home because it was getting late, so she told her to put on her coat so they can go home. My niece didn’t want to go home yet, so she said, “No”.
My sister rebuked her for being rude. She said, “But I said it politely.”. So my sister said, “It doesn’t matter if you said it politely. It’s rude to say no to your mother. Now put on your coat.”
“No, thanks”, my niece sweetly answered. And couldn’t understand why we cracked up.
March 28, 2017 2:47 am at 2:47 am #1244874
i asked my nephew to sing a Pesach song and he starts singing shoshanas Yaakov!
March 28, 2017 2:47 am at 2:47 am #1244875
I do not like kids so I cannot add anything cute about them.
March 28, 2017 2:49 am at 2:49 am #1244876
Winniethepooh, didn’t you say you were old in another thread? How do you have a 4 year old daughter than if your in your 60’s?
March 28, 2017 1:58 pm at 1:58 pm #1245104
I never said I was in my 60s and never said I was old. Better go back and re-read that thread about age gaps in shidduchim- I think you are misinterpreting a theoretical conversation LU and I had about people’s perceptions about who is old. I never discussed my age at all.
March 28, 2017 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #1245121
RS: Why do you not like kids?
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