Things Kids Said/Did

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  • This topic has 330 replies, 136 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by bmyer.
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  • #1185137
    moishy
    Participant

    My 3 year old nephew once went to the barbershop. The barber was an old italian guy. My nephew looks at the barber and says, “You’re an old man” !! LOL, it was ssoooo funny !!!

    #1185138
    smartcookie
    Member

    Reminds me of my son who came crying to me that his cousin said that he killed him. He tells me,”I didn’t want him to kill me”….sob sob sob.

    Same son mustve learned this language when my other one threatened to kill him(am I doing something wrong or is this normal?!)

    I calmed my son by asking him, “and what happens if ur little baby brother says hell kill you?”

    To which he responded,”then ill kill him right back!”

    #1185139

    My 5 year old daughter always loves to share her “song of the week” with me, usually having to do with the parsha or upcoming Yom Tov. A few months ago, about a week after Chanukah she came home crying. I asked her why she was crying. She told me that she cannot share her “song of the week” with me that week because it’s assur to say Mommy’s name, and the song was about me (Mommy). I told her that the song was most likely about Sarah Imeinu, and not about me, and that she should go ahead and sing it to me. She brightened, and having received my permission to sing a song with “my” name in it proceeded to sing all about “Asara B’Teves”!!!!!

    #1185140
    smartcookie
    Member
    #1185141
    bpt
    Participant

    This did not happen to me, but the story is so classic, I felt it imperative to share with those of us that did not read or hear it yet. Its a phone exchange between a grandchild and the Babby:

    GC: Babby, I can’t wait till you visit us again!

    Babby: Why is that,zeeskeit?

    GC: Because Tatty said he’ll show us a new trick!

    Babby: Oh, really? What kind of trick?

    GC: I’m not sure, but all he said was, “if Babby comes to stay with us again. I’ll flip!”

    #1185142
    d a
    Member

    Totty, that was very good! (please don’t start a whole shpiel how BP Totty is d a’s Totty!)

    #1185143
    smartcookie
    Member

    D a, I didn’t know your father posts here, kewl!!(Just teasing!!)

    #1185144
    bpt
    Participant

    I’m more concerned that my Shvigger figure out who BP totty is! (Uh oh, here comes a barrage of nasty e-mails from all the shivggers in the CR)

    #1185145
    kapusta
    Participant

    I walked past my 4/5 yr old neighbor and he waved and said, “I know you! You’re <mrs. kapustas> son! (ftr, I’m a daughter as opposed to a son :))

    (english is not his first language)

    #1185146
    baron fritz
    Participant

    i was watching my little 5 year old brother and i did something he didn’t like so he says to me thats unacceptable go to your room!

    #1185147
    smartcookie
    Member

    We passed a cemetery and my son asked, “mommy is this Yerushalaim?”

    I guess all those light colored stones do resemble the pics of Yerushalaim streets!

    #1185148
    Grace
    Participant

    My five year old niece was eating ice cream and her two year old sister wanted some. The five year old said, “Don’t look into my bowl”, to which the two year old responded by standing on her tip-toes, peering into the bowl, and saying “I’m not looking, I’m just seeing it”.

    #1185149
    says who
    Member

    My 4 year old asked me if you become Tamei from touching shabbos shoes

    #1185150
    smartcookie
    Member

    Says who- that’s smart thinking!

    #1185151
    aries2756
    Participant

    My daughter-in-law was watching my daughter’s kids for a few days. The last night was Thursday and she really wanted to get them to sleep so she could concentrate on Shabbos preparations. She stuck her head into the bedroom and told my five year old granddaughter to stop talking and go to sleep at which point she responded “I’m going to tell my Mommy that you are not being very nice to me!”.

    #1185152

    one of my aunts was ones driving somepalace with her 6 year old daughter in the car with her. she started pulling out of her parking space while the electric door was still in the middle of closing.her doughter noticed this and said to her mother “ma, if u ever do that again im ganna tell bubby on u!!

    #1185153
    Porty
    Member

    A friend told me that she heard her one child tell another child that the bracha you say after the bathroom is Borei Nefashos. She told her that you say Asher Yatzar, not Borei Nefashos after the bathroom, to which the child replied, “Yes, but I don’t know Asher Yatzar, so I’m saying Borei Nefashos!”

    #1185154
    Poster
    Member

    A frined told me that her son asked her, “Ma, open your mouth as big as you can…” after she did she asked him why he wanted her to do this. He said. ” I just wanted to see how its possible that a baby can fit out of there!”

    #1185155
    boredstiff
    Participant

    A Friend of mine told me this story, her 2 yr old niece had just moved back from israel. One of the only Hebrew terms she picked up was Dye ( meaning enough/ stop ). One day a cousin of hers was annoying her so she told her cousin- dye, dye, her cousin burst into tears and told her mother- she told me to die!!

    #1185156
    blinky
    Participant

    My Israeli cousins came in to NY and we were in a grocery store. I noticed a name of a nosh was called “adashim”. So i told my cousin (probably 4 then), “Hey look this has a hebrew word-“adashim”! She looks at me and says in her accent, “Zeh loh adashim, zeh Adasheeem (in a strong israeli accent- emphasizing the end of the word). It was too funny!

    #1185157
    bpt
    Participant

    Me and Mrs BP were still in the mountains this past shabbos, and the boys were in the city (yeshiva scedule / our packup drive back scedule did not make it practial for them to come up this weekend).

    So they had an “in Shabbos”. SOme of the food was pre-made, some was bought, some they made themselves.

    When we got back to the city late Sunday afternoon, the kitchen was spotless and the dishes /pots washed and put away. Leftovers were stored in containers.

    Stunned (and pleasanty surprised) to say the least!

    #1185158
    SmartTeen
    Member

    Many years ago my family went to a museum and got a tour. After the tour, the guide asked if anyone had questions. My brother, who was about 5 at the time raised his hand and when he was called on he asked with a serious look on his face, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”.

    #1185159
    frumladygit
    Member

    My friends little 4 year old (or so) goes up to a old lady (a goy) with wrinkled face and white hair. Looks into her face and says “Are you dead?”.

    Her mother had explained to her that when people get old they die.

    #1185160
    tomim tihye
    Member

    The question should really be, “Why did the Chabadnik cross the road?”

    And the answer is…

    to put tefillin on the chicken.

    #1185161
    tomim tihye
    Member

    My five-year old heard my newborn making some strange sounds and chuckled, saying “His battery died.”

    #1185162
    rc
    Participant

    As my grandson was reading Parshas Bereishis in the Little Medresh Says. We hear him say,

    “and G line D said Let there be light!!!”

    #1185163
    minyan gal
    Member

    When my daughter was about 3 years old she woke me up about 4 o’clock in the morning. I asked her why she was up so early and she replied: “I ran out of sleep.” Nowadays, some 40 odd years later, I still use the line when I wake up at 4 AM – which is almost daily.

    #1185164
    blinky
    Participant

    I saw this in a magazine once so you might know it but its adorable! A little girl notices her mother has a few white hairs so she asks her mother why she has them.

    Her mother says, “everytime you do something wrong, or make me upset I get a white hair.” The girl thinks for a moment and then says, “How come ALL of Bubbys hair is white?”

    #1185165
    says who
    Member

    I had something on the table which I didn’t wand my kids to touch. I left the room for a half a minute, I asked my 4 year old to watch that my 2 year old shouldn’t touch it, when I came back I saw my 4 year old playing with it and my 2 year old telling him DON’T TOUCH.

    #1185166
    WIY
    Member

    Says who

    Incredible!

    #1185167
    cofeefan
    Member

    i teach first grade and the way we learn new words is i put the words on the board and then say a sentence and they have to put the correct word in the sentence. one of the words was “lemonade” the sentece was “my dad sips_______ from a glass” to which one of my boys called out “BEER!!!” i couldn’t stop laughing!!

    #1185168
    oomis
    Participant

    My 2 year old granddaughter was taken to the park on Shabbos where she met a new playmate. They had fun going down the baby slide together, and finally when she wanted to go on to something new, my ainekel started to run to another ride. The little girl was sitting at the bottom of the slide and patted the place next to her, calling her to come back. So my granddaughter came running back, sat down daintily, cross her legs at the knee, folding her hands and said, “So what shall we talk about?” Every adult within hearing distance dropped his/her jaw.

    #1185169
    bpt
    Participant

    If ever a girl was ready for the shidduch market….!

    #1185170
    Yoin from BP
    Member

    I saw sign in BP store this morning (10/15/10):

    ‘Small amount of worm infestation in flour. Must be sifted in 50+ mesh. Due to recent worm weather”.

    #1185171

    when i was a kid and impatient about something my older sister told me “hold your horses” my response “my horses are held”

    i was reading my little sister a book, who was at the time 2 1/2 and i wasn’t reading that fast, there weren’t that many pictures. after a few minutes she burst out “im losing my patience”

    a different sibling was finishing off this 2 1/2 yr old’s breakfast. when she saw this, she burst out “im gona bless you”

    #1185172
    oomis
    Participant

    “If ever a girl was ready for the shidduch market….! “

    You don’t know the HALF of it!!!!!!!!!!

    #1185173
    tomim tihye
    Member

    Pointing to her foot, my two-year old told me she got a boo-boo.

    I asked, “On your foot?”

    “No, on my sock.”

    #1185174
    d a
    Member

    When I was a kid, a neigbor was by my house, and I said to her, “If you touch those flowers, my Totty will give you a potch potch on your henty”.

    #1185175
    oomis
    Participant

    We have to be so-o-o-o-o-o-o careful what we say in front of children. I have a severe knee problem, so I often kvetch when I stand up or sit down. My granddaughter takes this all in and one day when she sat down she said, “OYYYYY,” so I asked her what was wrong. She replied, “My knee hurts me like yours, Bubby.”

    #1185176
    WIY
    Member

    My brother spoke to our 2 and 1/2 year old niece and asked her if she wants him to come over for Shabbos, her response: “no, you’ll get sick of me!” lol.

    #1185177
    cofeefan
    Member

    this shabbos i was by my brother and my nephew was telling him about the parsha. he was saying how avraham was trying to get lot back from the kings. he said “they took sand and threw it and it turned into knives, arrows and spare ribs!” he said it so seriously that we could not stop laughing!!!

    #1185178
    blueberrymuffin
    Participant

    My little sister wanted a drink and insisted that only my mother give it to her. In exasperation my mother said, “Do you think it is a mitzva for me to always give you whatever you want when there are plenty of other ppl around to help you?!” My other sister (who was then about 6)piped up, “No- it’s a minhag!”.

    #1185179
    blueberrymuffin
    Participant

    My two year old cousin had a “precious” book of hers that depicted all types of animals. Since this book was so precious to her she read it over and over again until she knew the names of all the anials and how they look.

    One day my aunt was leaving a store with this child and an african amerian was kind enough to hold the door open for them. My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.

    #1185180
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    LOL!

    #1185181
    oomis
    Participant

    My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.

    OY VAVOY!!!!!! How politically incorrect of her!

    #1185182
    emoticon613
    Member

    i help a certain family in e”Y on thursdays, i’ve been with them for over two years.

    the oldest daughter is dying for me to get married already (she’s 10) so she can go to the wedding, preferrably as a bridesmaid. she keeps asking me i’m getting married here or in america.

    so once i said, what if i get married in america? she said she’ll come anyway, so i told her that tickets are really expensive. so she said she’ll take a boat instead, to which i replied that boats are just as expensive and totally not worth it. so she said she’ll walk and i said, you can’t walk over an ocean, she canged that to swimming, and i asked her if she wouldn’t get tired. so she said

    ‘so i’ll walk the other way around the world!!”

    (ps. when i told her that there was a bigger ocean the other way around, she said – fine, i’ll build a bridge, and don’t you get married within the year cuz that’s how long it’s gonna take me!)

    #1185183
    tomim tihye
    Member

    That reminds me:

    When my oldest was about 4, she used to label people as vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate. (There were 2 chocolate categories: milchig and pareve.)

    #1185184
    blueberrymuffin
    Participant

    tomim tihye-

    What did the milchig ppl look like?

    #1185185
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    I was asked to sub a kindergarten class and had about one minute to prepare.

    Getting up in front of all these 4 and 5 year olds I asked who knew what was special about that day.

    One kid raised his hand and said it was Rosh Chodesh. I was very impressed and asked how he knew. “My Tatty went to shul this morning!”

    Then I explained how they could tell it’s Rosh Chodesh by seeing that there’s no moon in the sky…

    Next Question: Why was it important to know when Rosh Chodesh was? (I was hoping someone would answer that since I didn’t know what to tell them.)

    One kid raised his hand and said, “So that my Mommy will know if she has to put a white shirt on me.”

    I had lots of fun that day, but I can’t imagine doing it full time.

    #1185186
    Helpful
    Member

    Why not doc?

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