What are your opinions on Rav Avigdor Miller’s answer about acting good?

Home Coffeeroom Inspiration / Mussar What are your opinions on Rav Avigdor Miller’s answer about acting good?

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  • #1479779

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    His answer says that it’s better to “deceive” people by behaving like a gentlemen rather than showing your true character by behaving in an ungentlemanly manner.

    #1479997

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    This thread is copyright infringement and is directly comparable to kidnapping, halachically speaking.

    #1480005

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Prove it.

    #1480010

    Joseph
    Participant

    Liked acting politely to someone who you feel like cursing out?

    #1480017

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Yes, and being very nice to your wife. But you have to keep the ruse going for a lifetime.

    #1480020

    Joseph
    Participant

    That sounds like a wonderful idea!

    Come to think of it, I’ll bet if someone tried that approach that eventually he’ll actually come to like the person he didn’t like but always acted friendly to.

    #1480065

    GAON
    Participant

    Rebyid,
    You mean to ask what’s your opinion on having an opinion on Rav Miller’s ZTL opinions… 🙂

    #1480081

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    No, GAON, that’s your question.

    #1480904

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    RY.

    Exactly. That’s what Seforim write. הרגל נעשה טבע.

    I’m still trying his trick…

    #1488092

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Should I have exclusive rights to the way I paraphrased his words?

    #1488143

    gavriel613
    Participant

    ולא יכלו דברו לשלום. מתוך גנותם למדנו שבחם, שלא דברו אחת בפה ואחת בלב
    רש”י וישב לז ד

    This would seem to contradict the way R Avigdor Miller is quoted, Rashi says once they hated Yosef which was admittedly a Gnus, it was then a Shvach that they at least didn’t act falsely.

    Rashi’s mekor is a medrash there (BR 84:9) which contrasts the Shvotim to Avsholom who was capable of acting differently to how he really felt (Maharzav). The Matnos Kehuna calls this geneivas daas; the Yefei Toar calls it chanufa.

    Do you have a source/further information about this quote

    #1488147

    gavriel613
    Participant

    רמב״ם הלכות דעות פרק ב הל’ ו

    אסור לאדם להנהיג עצמו בדברי חלקות ופיתוי. ולא יהיה אחד בפה ואחד בלב אלא תוכו כברו והענין שבלב הוא הדבר שבפה. ואסור לגנוב דעת הבריות ואפילו דעת הנכרי. כיצד לא ימכור לנכרי בשר נבילה במקום בשר שחוטה. ולא מנעל של מתה במקום מנעל של שחוטה. ולא יסרהב בחבירו שיאכל אצלו והוא יודע שאינו אוכל. ולא ירבה לו בתקרובת והוא יודע שאינו מקבל. ולא יפתח לו חביות שהוא צריך לפותחן למוכרן כדי לפתותו שבשביל כבודו פתח וכן כל כיוצא בו. ואפילו מלה אחת של פיתוי ושל גניבת דעת אסור, אלא שפת אמת ורוח נכון ולב טהור מכל עמל והוות

    #1489302

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    By the way, Sora S, could you explain what you meant by “constantly faking”?

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