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What to wear on first date

(56 posts)
  • Started 2 years ago by caleefornia
  • Latest reply from tzarich_zivug

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  1. caleefornia
    Member

    What do i wear on first date?
    Its for a shidduch date,but not super yeshivish (i'm not dating a kollel or BMG boy)
    High heels? Nice dress that is only for shabbos but is classy and not to wedding? or nice sweater and wedges???
    help. it's tonight

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. caleefornia
    Member

    anyone?????

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. Health
    !

    Q: What do i wear on first date?
    A: Clothes, not a gorilla suit.

    Seriously, it really depends on the guy. The MO crowd - the couple dresses casual, but nice. The Yeshivishe crowd - the couple dresses like on Shabbos.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    Wear a nice shabbos outfit. Most girls don't wear fancy like wedding.
    Wear heels only if you know he'll still be taller. You remember that because heel sounds like he'll.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. caleefornia
    Member

    A few hours to go. Any suggestions, please please

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. more_2
    Member

    Maybe if he's on here he should have the pick of what you should wear.
    Chill it'll all be fine!!
    Hatzlocha

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. caleefornia
    Member

    Health: Im not MO and not yeshivish...so what do i do??

    do any other girls have advice? im a meohr type girl, if that helps any!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. tbrr123
    Member

    Wear a nice shabbos outfit. Something dressier than everyday. Makeup of course, do your hair. You can wear nice flats or heels. Just wear something you feel comfortable in and won't feel like you have to adjust like the whole night or worry about.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. Mimah nafshach
    Blocked

    as a guy from personal experience, not too much makeup

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. caleefornia
    Member

    But all my Shabbos stuff are reeeaally nice (and expensive)...is that too much?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    The general practice is that your skirt should be just long enough that it covers your knees when you are sitting, but needs to be "tugged" about every 5 minutes. You should practice while sitting on the couch at home to ensure this precise length.

    Since this is your first date, we'll also be nice and give real advice.

    Relax, it is no big deal.
    It is not awkward if there are silences for a few minutes. That happens in normal conversation with even friends.
    Don't think about whether it is going good, until you are back home.
    Smile, be nice to him. He'll be nice to you.
    Be a good listener. People tend to think you are good at conversation if you listen to them.
    You're going to be fine; you will be the same good person tomorrow no matter how awkward it can be, no matter how much you dislike spending time with him, no matter how much you thought it was good but he didn't want to date you anymore.
    And most of all: give us a full report when you get home (jk).

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. caleefornia
    Member

    Haha PBA all my skirts are exactly like that (besides for a few which are long enough)
    And im not worried about the date or anything, only about what to wear (I'm a girl afterall)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. tbrr123
    Member

    Wear your Shabbos stuff. If you regularly dress well, then do that on a date too.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. WIY
    Managed to post for 3 years without getting a subtitle

    caleefornia
    Wear something with color. Black is soooooo boring, and you will come off as boring and yeshivish like all those boring yeshivish girls that always wear black.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. batseven
    Member

    Caleefornia- as a girl in the shidduch parsha, my personal opinion is that you wear shab. def. but not wedding. I would wear heels if you r comft. walking in them.
    Good Luck!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. 2morecents
    Member

    Wear whatever you have that you think make you look the nicest and makes you comfortable, then forget about it. If the choices of clothes and words you speak work, then the shidduch is still a go for potentially a 2nd date. If things don't fly, then the shidduch isn't a go and you guys call it quits. It's really very simple so don't worry about it. There's no right or wrong here. Just relax and basically the date will go in one of 2 directions.
    Take 2 or 3 minutes to say 2 perakim of tehillim before you go out. I know you have a million things to do now but tefillah for a couple of minutes is a wise thing to do as well. You'll get all the help you need from shemayim and won't have to reach out to the coffee room for help if you do.
    If you do go out again, you might want to print out all these answers and read them to the boy for fun on a future date.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. caleefornia
    Member

    WIY I was actually thinking of wearing s/t dark (navy or black) or neutral colored. I have a lot of color in my wardrobe (orange purple pink blue) but not first date clothes or even second date for that matter

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. caleefornia
    Member

    I guess ill have to risk looking yeshivish. classy can sometimes be mistaken as yeshivish (companies like kate spade and jcrew and those names. their obviously not yeshivish, because kate spade is not even jewish! but sometimes can look very yeshivish)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. caleefornia
    Member

    oh the reason i want to know what to wear is because im not sure where he is taking me. if to a hotel lounge then dressy and heels is fine, but what if we go to starbucks? ill look like a clown

    Posted 2 years ago #
  20. tbrr123
    Member

    been there... and you won't look like a clown. you'll just look good.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  21. farrocks
    Joseph

    popa: "Wear a nice shabbos outfit. Most girls don't wear fancy like wedding."

    Off topic, but why do girls dress nicer for a wedding than they do for Shabbos Kodesh?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  22. No One Mourns The Wicked
    No one - except Yankee fans

    "But all my Shabbos stuff are reeeaally nice (and expensive)...is that too much?"

    There is something so inherently annoying about that sentence.

    "because kate spade is not even jewish!"

    Most designers aren't, even the ones that design ultra religious styles..

    Hope you made the right choice of outfit!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  23. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    Nu?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  24. Health
    !

    WIY -"Wear something with color. Black is soooooo boring, and you will come off as boring and yeshivish like all those boring yeshivish girls that always wear black."

    Now I was always under the impression that the reason they wear black is because it's slenderizing. In other words they look thinner than they are. We all know that in our day and age -obesity is a big problem in both genders.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  25. WIY
    Managed to post for 3 years without getting a subtitle

    Popa
    Shes on a date give her some space!
    P.s. That nu can have multiple meanings depending on how much of a yenta you are.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  26. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    Shes on a date give her some space!

    Well, I assume she ducks into the bathroom at some point to check YWN on her iphone.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  27. more_2
    Member

    Are u guys engaged yet?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  28. loca
    Member

    Let me simplify it for you- look good. Seriously, it doesnt matter all that much what type of outfit you wear, it matters if it looks good on you. Thats all.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  29. MurphysLaw
    If Anything Can Go Wrong... ...It Will!

    caleefornia:

    As we have not heard from you for 13 Hours, I guess the date failed.
    Better luck next time.
    Perhaps, you should not be getting your dressing tips from YWN coffee room!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  30. twisted
    pretzel

    Farkert, Health, she should go for the gorilla suit. It makes a statement, is definitely style, and think how easy the conversation will flow. Some of you folks just can't think out of the box.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  31. mommamia22
    Member

    Popa
    GREAT advice and well written!
    Loca
    I totally agree

    Posted 2 years ago #
  32. oomis
    Best Bubby EVER

    Some of you folks just can't think out of the box. "

    Yeah, the crackerjacks box!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  33. oomis
    Best Bubby EVER

    Off topic, but why do girls dress nicer for a wedding than they do for Shabbos Kodesh"

    Do a kallah and chosson not dress up more than for a typical Shabbos? Clearly the chassunah has a certain sartorial status that begs the wearing of a certain type of clothing. Nonetheless, people SHOULD dress up for Shabbos in their best clothing, even if not wedding style.

    (Also, some girls want to make Shidduchim, and they will be seen by and converse with more people at the wedding than on a typical Shabbos at Shul)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  34. Health
    !

    twisted -"Farkert, Health, she should go for the gorilla suit. It makes a statement, is definitely style, and think how easy the conversation will flow."

    I hear your point, but would YOU go out a second time if your date showed up in a gorilla suit?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  35. Chulent
    Joseph

    Wear a nice shabbos outfit. Most girls don't wear fancy like wedding."

    Off topic, but why do girls dress nicer for a wedding than they do for Shabbos Kodesh?

    Do a kallah and chosson not dress up more than for a typical Shabbos? Clearly the chassunah has a certain sartorial status that begs the wearing of a certain type of clothing. Nonetheless, people SHOULD dress up for Shabbos in their best clothing, even if not wedding style.

    A Choson and Kallah are a Melech and Malka. So it is clearly justifiable that they dress up.

    But a person should certainly dress up on Shabbos Kodesh more so than for a wedding. Certainly not the reverse.

    (Also, some girls want to make Shidduchim, and they will be seen by and converse with more people at the wedding than on a typical Shabbos at Shul)

    This is wrong. They shouldn't be conversing with guys. And they certainly shouldn't be dressing up for guys. That is as wrong as it gets. And Yeshivish girls are not shopping themselves to men at weddings, G-d forbid. And if they are conversing with other women at the wedding reception who may know someone for them, they certainly do not have to dress to the hilt, or dress to kill, for other women. Dressing as nicely for a wedding as they do for Shabbos Kodesh is certainly more than sufficient. More than that is very wrong.

    Clearly these girls are dressing up as they do for all the wrong reasons.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  36. L. Normanson
    Member

    I feel very intelligent reading all these comments...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  37. Torah613Torah
    (613)Torah²

    The responses in this thread were very entertaining.

    Shabbos vs. Chasuna - I've heard that your best should be for both, is there a halacha about it?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  38. iced
    Joseph

    There's no halacha that you need to dress your best for a wedding. Only Shabbos.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  39. more_2
    Member

    No Halacha. For shabbos you are walking around in the streets so it's best not to dress to kill' but for a wedding considering the fact that there are separate entrances you can dress as gorgeous as u like... Like dressing to kill or wtvr... I'd say shabbos if you over dress you are selling yourselves to guys more than weddings.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  40. iced
    Joseph

    Dressing to kill is pritzus and always assur.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  41. Veltz Meshugener
    K'shmo kain hu

    Dressing to kill likely involves camouflage and would be inappropriate for a date unless you were in the deep south. Also, it raises questions of chukas hagoyim and pikuach nefesh.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  42. WIY
    Managed to post for 3 years without getting a subtitle

    Iced
    Well unfortunately many frum females today dress to kill mens (and their own) neshamos. Sad reality.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  43. interjection
    in·ter·jec·tion noun 1. an abrupt remark, made esp. as an aside or interruption

    "Well unfortunately many frum females today dress to kill mens (and their own) neshamos. Sad reality."

    They don't give enough hashkofa for it in the Bais Yaakovs. All they give is the rules.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  44. more_2
    Member

    Interjection- sounds like you're out to change the world IMHO !!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  45. Veltz Meshugener
    K'shmo kain hu

    Interjection, considering the way they present the rules, I don't think we ought to trust them for the hashkafah.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  46. WIY
    Managed to post for 3 years without getting a subtitle

    Interjection
    I never attended a BY so I dont know. I find that hard to believe but if its true then these BYs are wasting their time...But I dont see why the girls arent strongly encouraged to read up on it on their own. There must be a few good sefarim in English or Hebrew that talk about it...
    I mean really there arent that many mitzvos asked of a girl to perform....

    Posted 1 year ago #
  47. Torah613Torah
    (613)Torah²

    Does dressing to kill refer to wearing cockroach killers?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  48. twisted
    pretzel

    I am long past the parsha Health, I was just offering some sage contrariness. The second date would of course depend on the response of the other, to, humor aside, respond to the challenge and judge by pnimiyus, and not focus on the externals however contrived they may or may not be. As the thread has take a turn to the serious, consider this: as Interjection says, (tip of iceberg) there is no hashkofo in the modern curriculum, only rules. The rules have been distilled down to two: not tzamud, and not attention grabbing. So the gorilla suit excels in one and fails the other.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  49. OneOfMany
    Today, the Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple is sporting One Of her Many eyebrow colors, as well as her Morgul-blade ^_^

    No, I think the convention for "dressing to kill" is more commonly all black, which makes sense - I hear frum women have gained some notoriety for that. But what with the black ski masks and etc., I can't imagine why anyone would have objections on grounds of tznius...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  50. Toi
    beware the cleats

    Dont wear a sheitel.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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