“..to go out with the INTENT of getting married? Not to see if you �click� or are �perfect together� ?
Or maybe we have just been way too affected by western society and their portrayals of love, romance and..divorce�?”
I’m not sure who “we” are, and there are obviously many types of people. Personally, when I go out, I go out assuming that I will marry the guy (which is also why I don’t go out with everyone who is suggested). I do not go out waiting for lightning to strike or bells to ring or to see if I “fall in love at first sight” or something like that.
I actually think that I have been brainwashed the other way, and that I was made to feel that I am just supposed to marry anyone and not care if I like him or not. As a result, I ended up letting myself get pressurred into going out with guys I couldn’t stand for 4-6 dates. I think that was a really bad idea! The guys in those cases usually were almost ready to get engaged and had no idea that I couldn’t stand them, and it wasn’t really fair to them. On my part, I ended up feeling used, and it made me hate dating.
Over the years, I have come to realize that my approach to dating is wrong, and it does matter if you like the guy/girl and you shouldn’t let yourself get pressurred into continuing to date someone you can’t stand. It’s probably kidai to go out on a second date if you have no good reason not to, but not more than that.
Another thing that I have come to realize is that if I don’t like the guy, there is usually a good reason for it even if it’s hard for me to put my finger on it. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at figuring out what it is. I think part of my problem was that I hate being judgmental.