SmartTeen
“I am looking for a way to get myself to want to daven. For about the past 2 years, I have only been davening in school when we are ”forced to” or when my mother makes sure I do. When we are on vacation or on Sundays.. I don’t. I guess most of the reason I don’t like to is because I feel it is useless. For many years I was stuck in a few difficult situations and the whole time I would daven every day, but nothing ever changed so I lost hope. Can anyone help me?
Also- is it better to daven and not have any kavannah and space out and skip words etc. or is it better not to at all?”
Lets analyze what you said.
“most of the reason I don’t like to is because I feel it is useless. For many years I was stuck in a few difficult situations and the whole time I would daven every day, but nothing ever changed so I lost hope.”
Firstly, Hashem doesnt have to answer your Tefillos, He can just say NO. Dont think for one second that you do Hashem any favors by Davening because you arent. Davening as well as everything else we do is for us. Additionally, Hashem did us a HUGE Chessed that he allows us to even come before Him and talk to him and ask for things that we need. Its a mistake that people think that Hashem has to answer them. A mistake and a big Chutzpah. In reality, Hashem does so much good for us every second of our existence that its almost a chutzpah to ask for anything more. We have permission to Daven because He said we can.
The purpose of Davening is to realize who we stand before. If a person stands before a king and has a chance to ask for anything and while talking his/her mind wanders the king will certainly notice that the person isnt “here” and will be very insulted and will not accept a word the person says. The person will be lucky not to get thrown into prison let alone have requests granted!
When we Daven before Hashem we must recognize who we stand before. Da lifnei mi atah omeid. We must make every effort not to think about anything but the meaning of the words during our Tefillos. Yes thoughts will try to pop in, but gently send them out and pull yourself back to shemonah esrei.
There are a number of reasons why Hashem wont listen to ones Tefillos and a major impediment to Tefillah acceptance is Davening with sincerity. We say in Ashrei Karov Hashem Lchal Korav Lcho Asher Kerauhu Bemes. Hashem is close to all those that call out to him in TRUTH, that means sincerity. If one says Hashiveinu (the Bracha about Teshuvah) or Selach Lanu but has have no real intention of getting closer to hashem then they are a liar, they are lying before to HASHEMS FACE!!!!! What chance is there that Hashem will listen to any of their other Tefillos and requests? NONE NONE NONE to the power of a gazillion.
Hashem wants togive you and provide all of your needs, but turn to Him with the knowledge and Emunah that only Him only Hashem can help you and man is helpless on his own. No man on this planet can help you and anything and everything is all from Hashem. If you daven before Hashem with sincerity and clear knowledge that you must Daven because He is the one that provides everything and the ONLY ONE who can help you, you will be answered.
There are other impediments to Tefillah, like one who talks loshon hora or lies, or talks in shul sins of the mouth block out a persons tefillos.
But the key is sincerity.
“Also- is it better to daven and not have any kavannah and space out and skip words etc. or is it better not to at all?”
If you cant Daven all of it and have Kavanah at least daven some of it with Kavanah. NEVER say any tefillah and skip words, your words can end up saying terrible things due to what you omitted and can bring bad things upon you.
In Shemonah esrei, the most iportant bracha is the first, so make sure you know the meaning and have in mind by that. Once you have that down pat work on the next bracha and so on and so forth.