Oomis, I have tremendous respect for you and how you are so careful in how you speak to everyone here on the site, so I don’t want to offend you with what I’m going to say. I have read your comments to this same effect numerous times and know that you mean this to sincerely help people find their bashert.
My objection to this is that life is so much more complicated than when you were going out to meet your husband and unfortunately the boys and girls in shidduchim are much more naive and often more sheltered than you (or even I) was in your day. People are not always what they seem on the outside and I would hope that a parent might be perceptive enough, having more experience in life, than their child to help weed out the inappropriate prospects that are out there. How is someone supposed to know if they are compatible, just based on meeting someone? I know that I went out with boys that I “just met”, even at properly organized singles events, and I felt that it was such a meat market and all any of them was looking for was a thin, attractive girl. The shy (I’m not) or heavier (I am) girls were totally overlooked and made to feel second rate. What girl would want to put herself through that? Where should we meet? You mentioned previously at chassanahs of friends, or other such places, but who says that just because our friends are getting married does that make us compatible?
Even a single person who makes a list of all the qualities he/she is looking for in a spouse does not see everything in the person when they meet socially. By the time any type of investigation can be made, there is already some sort of emotional investment, which may be hard to ignore if any reasons are brought up to discontinue the “relationship”.
I do appreciate that you mean well, but I think the world has changed so much that in the best interests of our children, investigation beforehand is prudent, but not pickiness to the point of rejecting girls (or even boys) out of hand without really solid reasons. I certainly would not want my daughter (who just turned 17) to be meeting boys in this manner.
I do hope that you do not take offense and that I presented my case in as pleasant a manner as you have presented yours on many an occasion.