Reply To: Disturbing thing I saw

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🍫Syag Lchochma

I was going to leave this thread alone because I didn’t want to sound like I was nit picking but I think something very important has been revealed. I don’t think oomis is old fashioned. She is only a bit older than I am but I have found myself on board with almost everything she says. In this situation, I disagree strongly, but it is really not about that.

I am a VERY careful parent, VERY safety conscious. If I would put my baby in that position, it is because it is, without a doubt, 100% safe. The fact that someone else would pass by and disagree does not change that fact. But that, to me, is not the real issue here.

I have been in situations where, as a mom of many boys, my children have been allowed to climb on things or rough house in ways that older people, or “girl moms” thought was dangerous. It wasn’t. But they believed with their whole heart that it was. So the bottom line is, are they right just because they think they are? If they would deal differently, does that give them the right to decide I am negligent? Is their overprotective nature, which they DON’T see as overprotective, automatically a license to condemn?

Anyone who knows me knows they can trust me with their kids, as well as mine. If they see me doing something they “assume” was not safe, wouldn’t it behoove them to stop and think that perhaps they have a misperception? Or is it automatically wrong because it does not fit in to their baseline of safety? Trust me, I am NOT speaking about using knives or staying home alone. I am talking about things like climbing on monkey bars, riding bicycles with no hands, and reaching a high shelf.

I understand that with safety it is important NOT to be laissez-faire, but there is nothing wrong with taking a second look and making sure that your quick assessment and condemnation is not tainted by your own personal life experiences and is, in fact, based in reality. And I do the same when I think parents are being ridiculously overprotective and enabling their children. Or depriving them of independence by spoon feeding them, dressing them, or doing other things for them when they have long passed the age where they should be doing it for themselves.

Safety is not a perception, it is a reality, but assessment of that reality is subjective as we are all human. Please take two looks next time you pass someone who you are SURE is negligent. If you are correct, the second look should encourage you to act. If you are wrong, the second look should encourage you not to judge unfairly.