That’s a really hard challenge. There’s two issues here. Your need to respect him, and your desire for him to be more intelligent than you.
The first is a need. You need to respect him. And he needs you to respect him.
As for being less intelligent, you may wish for him to be more intelligent, or organized, or have a better sense of humor, or speak in a British accent, or be more handsome, or like the same music you do, but these are wants. Your marriage can survive and thrive without these areas of compatibility, if you respect him.
You have a lot of good in your OP. It sounds like he cares about you, he loves you, and he wants to tell you things and spend time with you. He tries to get you things you want and to make you happy. You can respect, at least, that he loves you, intelligent as you are.
Some ways of showing respect are:
-Davening for his success (and tell him you are)
-Not disagreeing with him in public
-Responding calmly when he asks a question you think is dumb
-Not comparing him to other husbands
-Letting him know how much you appreciate his work/ little things he does for you
-Asking him about his day and listening
-Encouraging him within his abilities. Don’t try to make him something he isn’t, try to help him achieve his full potential without pressuring him.
-Talk positively about him to your family and friends.
-Ask him for advice on your problems. You may be surprised how different and enlightening the male perspective is.
-Be very explicit in what you want, eg, don’t write “peppers” on a list, say 1 medium green pepper. Men don’t read minds, and they won’t have any idea what size of pepper you usually get.
-Be calm when explaining what he did wrong. Don’t make a big deal out of his mistakes.
– Ask for menu suggestions for supper
-Praise him for things he does right.
These are just a few ideas. I hope it is helpful.