Syag, I haven’t been part of this discussion, and have read like only the last 2 posts.
But disregarding the story that happened in this thread, you do agree that shadchanus is governed by the halachos discussing it, and that the halacha says there is an objective amount which is the correct amount, and that it is determined by what most other people do?
And it makes sense that there should be a set required payment also. If you don’t want to pay the piper, don’t use their services and call the tune.
That’s what I did. I didn’t want to pay a shadchan so I went off and found my own. And I reckon she’s better than all those retards from BJJ being peddled by the shadchans. (Or, at least, she’s less than $1,000 worse.)
(That last line was probably not worth losing dinner over, but there’s a whole day until dinner…)