“my personal feeling is that children should not be raised by baby sitters. If she is the bread winner, it would be a given.”
Why would that be a given? Men can raise children. Not all men choose to be hands-on fathers, but many do. Typically, girls learn to take care of younger siblings as they are growing up and boys don’t, but it’s never too late to learn. There are also girls who are the youngest child, or only children, or those who don’t seem to be “natural” mothers or “born” mothers, but the baby comes and you figure it out. I have a cousin on my father’s side who is a stay at home dad. His wife has a corporate job and frequently travels the world. She comes home and spends time with them when she can, but he is the primary caregiver and does all the domestic stuff. He jokes that she doesn’t even know how to operate the dishwasher (which is actually true). Once, she tried to put them to sleep and they were bouncing off the walls; she came downstairs exhausted and handed the job to him. He had them all peacefully in bed within half an hour. I know not all men are like this, but many are or can be. I also have a cousin who took care of his daughter while he was in law school and his wife was working. They put her in part time day care and scheduled his classes around it. Also, my dad was between jobs when I was born and stayed home with me for the first year of my life. It can happen. You don’t know what kind of man your daughter will marry. If she is really passionate about her profession, he might agree to stay home with the children and learn while they are napping.