Reply To: Siblings involved in your shidduchim

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aries2756
Participant

If you and your brother are thisclose and he really checks into the boy and does a personal investigation then I would trust what he says. But just stam siblings who just heard of somebody, NO, I wouldn’t trust that, because bochurim who were clowns in elementary or High School could be totally different by the time they are ready for shiduchim and that can be attributed to many things, growing up, maturing, the hashpaah they had from their Rebbeim in Bais Medrash, the Bais itself and the sevivah they were in, for instance E”Y, Lakewood, Scranton, etc. You learn a lot from the friends you are with and the families they introduce you to. So you have to judge your prospects on who they are now not who they were in High School and that goes for girls as well.

A girl who was nerdy or shy in HS may not be that way after seminary. There could have been an entire transformation after a year of independence. So just hearing about someone is not enough to base a decision on.