rachman liba bae-hashem wants the heart
Try reading the tochacha in bechukosai. For me that is the strongest chizuk. I can never get through without bursting into tears.
???? ????? ???? ??? ???? ????? ?????? ??? ????? ???? ?????
Thy temples are like a pomegranate split open. What is meant by ‘Thy temples’ [rakothek] [rekanim] among thee are full of precepts like a pomegranate.
Berachos 57a
24 ??? ??? ????? 25 ?? ???? ????? ???? ??? ????? ????”? ????? ????? ???’ (???? ?, ?) ????? ????? ???? ?? ?’ ???? ???? ????? ????? ???? ??? 26 ??? ?? ???”? 27 ??? ?? ????? ??? ?????? ????? ?????? ???? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ?????? ????? ????? (???? ??, ?) ???? ??? ?????? 28 ???? ???? ??? ????? ???? ????? 29 ???”? (??? ?????? ?, ?) ????? ????? ?? ??? ????? ?? ????? 30 ?”? ???”? 31 ??? ?? ????? ??? ?????? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ????? ????? ????? (?????? ??, ??) ?? ?? ???? ??????
R. Berekiah said: The Congregation of Israel also made a thoughtless request, yet God granted
that request,14 as it is said, And let us know, eagerly strive to know the Lord. His going forth is sure
as the morning: and He shall come to us as the rain.15 The Holy One, blessed be He, said to her
[Israel]: My daughter, thou askest for something16 which at times is desirable and at other times is
not desirable, but I will be unto thee something which is desirable at all times, as it is said, I will be
as dew unto Israel.17 She further made another thoughtless request. She said before Him,: O God, Set
me as a seal upon thy heart,- as a seal upon thine arm.18 Thereupon the Holy One, blessed be He,
replied to her: My daughter, thou askest for something which at times can be seen and at other times
cannot be seen. I, however, will make of thee something which can be seen at all times, as it is said,
Behold I have graven thee upon the palms of My hands.19
taanis 4a
??? ?? ???? ?? ????? ????? 28 ???: ???? ?????? ??? ?????, ??? ?? ???? 29 ????? ???? ????? ???? ??? ????? ???? ?????: ??? 30 ?????, ??????????? ?????? ?? ???? ?????? 31 ?? ????? ???????? ???? ????? ?????:
R. Isaac b. Samuel says in the name of Rab: The night has three watches, and at each watch the Holy One, blessed be He, sits and roars like a lion and says: Woe to the children, on account of whose sins I destroyed My house and burnt My temple and exiled them among the nations of the world.
Berachos 3a
Hebrew text is from Sefaria.com. English text is from Soncino Talmud online.
I really feel what you are going through as I have also had similar feelings of emptiness and doubt. Believe me, it will get better. Once I began to realize that everything I do is written down, I found it so hard to look places I shouldn’t etc. Maybe this thought will also help you.
28 ???? ???? ??? 29 ?? ???? ?? 30 ???? ???? ?? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ?????? ?? ????? (????? ?, ??) ?? ??? ???? ???? ????? ??? ????? 31 ??? ??? ???? ???? 32 ??? ????? ???? ?????? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ???? ????? (????? ??, ??) ?? ?????? ???? ?? 33 ??? ????? ???? 34 ????? ?? ??? ??? ????? ???? ????? (???? ?, ?) ?????? ???? ???? ???? ??? ??? ?????? 35 ????? ?? ??? ?????? ?? ????? (?????? ??, ?) ??? ??? ??? ?’ 36 (????? ??, ?) ?? ????? ???? ??? ?? ????? ??? ??????? ?? ?????? ????? ??? ????? ?? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ?????? ?? ??????? ????? ??? ?? ????? ??? ?????? ???? ??? ??? ??????? ??? ??????? ????? ??? ????? ?? ???? ??? ?????? ?? ?????? ??? ?????? ????? ??? ????? ?? ???? ??? ?????? 37 ???? ???? ??? (???? 38 ????) ?????? ?? ??? ???? ????? ?? ????? (??????) ????? ??????? ?? 39 ?? ??? ???? ????? ????? ???? ????? ???? ???? (???) ??????? ?? 40 ???? 41 ????? ????? (???? ??, ?) ??? ?? ??? ????? 42 ??? ??? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ???? ????? ??? 43 ??? ?????? ????? ?? ????? (????? ??, ?) ???? ???? ?????
even for the least meritorious act which they do, so too are the wicked rewarded in this world even
for the least meritorious act which they do. Just and right is He:17 They [the Rabbis]
Taanis 11a