I feel like youre in my head because I have the same questions as you. But imagine this. If you accomplish something that was easy for you to do, you dont feel any major satisfaction. But when you accomplish something that was hard for you to do, theres no greater feeling! So every time you struggle you need to make a decision. Do you give in or do you fight back? Thats part of lifes complexity. We become confused because we want to take the easy way out and just leave things as they are. But at the same time we know that we need to conquer our demons. The choice is hard to make! As I mentioned in another thread, I was anorexic so i see a nutritionist and a therapist. One day I was particularly fed up and angry. I figured that its just easier to not eat because then I wont spend my time being upset about every calorie. My nutritionist gave me a killer look and said to me “are you a quitter??” When she said that, I realized that im really not one to quit. Im a fighter! No matter how hard it is we need to persevere because we don’t want to lead a miserable existence. I dont encourage you to stop soul searching. It might be painful in the interim but youll gain such clarity about yourself. Youll come to appreciate your complexity and the different facets of your personality.
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