KDD:
First, I sincerely hope Mashiach comes long before your son is called up to the IDF at 18 and, regardless, that all of Klal Yisrael, including those in Eretz Yisrael, always remain safe and sound, BE”H.
I have a number of questions on your post:
For starters, why is this a question of your son versus the Chareidim? You stated that you, yourself, served in the IDF and you are well aware that Israel (bizarrely) chooses to forcibly draft every 18 year old into the IDF (when no other modern country does so). Yet you chose to raise your children in Israel with this knowledge. Obviously, even if every Chareidi did serve, Israel’s draft laws would still apply to your son. So I don’t see what one has to do with the other.
Then, of course, there are the other issues of why it is simply not possible to ask a Chareidi to, CH”V, serve in the IDF.
For one, since the main purpose of the IDF is to turn its enlistees into “Israelis”, this is a major non-starter for a Chareidi whose life is devoted to the Torah and not, ch”V, to Zionism or any other ism. As well, there are the many well-known immorality and other anti-Torah problems that make IDF service a non-starter. These make international news, and are not exactly a secret.
As well, the Chareidim have suffered terribly because of this State that they very much didn’t want (and, it is certainly clear by now, that this State has been terrible for Jews).
The Zionists wouldn’t even have the basic decency to let the Chareidim earn a living. Meaning, their “ptur” of “Toraso umanuso” was conditional on literal mesiras nefesh of Zionist-forced impoverishment. It is a further chutzpah to now attempt to shmad these Chareidim, who preceded the Zionists in E”Y.