Another question:
“Religious Zionism” believes in serving the State, etc. (and, according to a prominent “MO” posek, serving in the IDF is doche pikuach nefesh because of the State itself even if no Jewish lives would be saved). On the other hand, Chareidi law (and traditional observant Judaism) doesn’t believe in any of this.
With all due respect, assuming for argument’s sake that there is even what to talk about halachicly, the “Religious Zionists” should still respect the halachic opinion accepted by chareidim – for Chareidim – that serving in the IDF is assur.
I understand this doesn’t help secular Israelis, but I don’t see why this shouldn’t answer the questions like yours of why your son is expected to serve in the IDF but they don’t.
Very simple: you believe it’s a mitzva to do so and are, unfortunately, compelled to by your government to serve while traditional Orthodox Judaism, Chareidim included, does not believe in any of this to the point that the gedolim have said this is shmad, etc.
So, even liShitas the “MO/R”Z””, why should this be any different than any other halachic dispute where each “camp” does what they understant to be correct?
Regardless of any of this, as I wrote earlier, I wish your son and all of Klal Yisrael all good things, BE”H.