oomis got it on the head. Perhaps she really is the best bubbe ever?
To take this guy, he might be a bad seed. But why are we looking for the worst in someone that we don’t even know!! Let me explain a likely dynamic:
Many guys in yeshiva don’t have to man-up too often (let me say this really applies for most young men). They (the guys in yeshiva) do not have to put someone down (even in a manner like this that is necessary – you can’t marry someone you don’t want to) and don’t want to. They do not like the feeling of hurting another person. By texting, it’s easier, less painful – death by hit man to use an extreme comparision. In this case, they will not have to deal with it because a girl and guy in a shidduch will only be involved as long the shidduch proceeds. This is not out of a bad place, just a really cruel (BUT UNKNOWINGLY SO) decision. This is something that someone should be mechanech their children for – how to say no. Example: There are only 4 seats in the car to something fun, and 5 friends want to come. Tell your son (practice first) how to break the news like a mentsch to the fifth friend.
Hashem does this all the time. We want something now, we want something a certain way. Hashem says no, not that way, you can’t do that particular thing or at least right now. It’s still out of love. An employee that is not working out, a person that wants what cannot be given, whatever. It’s not an aveirah to say no, it’s a mitzvah to say no like Hashem without hate, with love, with compassion.
This is not some easy feat. Let’s not just go down the jump on the Yeshiva guy path. He might have a serious reason to not want to continue and knows his inefficiency at having a “talk” with someone. It’s hard for him, and it’s hard for all of us. The way to help this young lady is by helping our sons or talmidim to stop this happening as much, not by beating a dead horse.