Thank you for your post!
You are right, most people don’t know what it’s like to be in that situation and don’t undestand everything.
I wish you much success in all your endeavors.
I really appreciate how much you care that your sons go to shul. Maybe there is someone in the synagogue that you trust who can sit in shul next to the boys and explain to them the tfila, and later also teach them how to lay tfillin, ect.
Much Blessings