I’m glad you brought it up. Actually, I’d like to thank you for bringing it up.
#1 For your self, it’s great that you are expressing your self. So at least you can “maybe” get an idea from some of the replies why neighbors might not offer to help or take your boys to shul.
#2 I would just like to give you my opinion or rather feeling below. And maybe it could help someone. First I’d like to ask you to please, please do not hold it against anyone. People just don’t know what to say or do. Not everyone has the Z’chus to have the knowledge and the courage to help others. The bottom line is most people are good and they afraid they will hurt your feelings. So, I know this might be a hard one for you. But if you really feel you need the help don’t be afraid to ask. And even then some might jump to help and some might not for personnel reasons that you’ll never know. Example: I’d love to bring home a shabbos guest every week. But I know it would be to stressful for my wife or kids etc.. So I don’t even bring it up. I look for other Chesed Mitzvas to do.
So please don’t hold it against them, and if you feel you can ask them try. And for all you know they might be thanking you.
NOW
Why am I writing all this? (Sorry I can’t write details, not to give it all away.)
I have two divorced people living on my block.
I always see things that make me feel so bad, that I wish I just had the courage to walk over to them and ask them if I could help.
(And that is exactly why I thank you for bringing it up.)
But on the other hand, I am always worried for two things, #1 what if I defend anyone. (Even though I know that as long as I don’t say anything hurtful I shouldn’t worry) #2 I’m afraid, that will start asking for to much or for things I can not help them with. And by nature if I start helping someone I can’t just do it half way.
The main point what is bothering me and I always think I should help but then think it’s not my business.
I’ll bring this out and I’ll leave it at that even tough I have more examples.
One divorcee is a father who has a handsome young boy old enough that he looks like he will be Bar Mitzvah in a year or two. But he dose not bring his son to shul. I have a strong feeling that one reason he doesn’t come is because he has a complex or who knows what. He stays home with his sibling from the opposite gender who is way way older and nebech nebech “looks like she would be a very bad influence on his neshomah. But she looks like a very caring sister. believe me I’m not judging her. But the way she dresses I almost resent living on the block with my children. But on the other hand. I keep on thinking. What can I do or say to these people to make them feel liked and part of “US”. The father works hard all day. The son comes home to an empty house, the sis I think has a job. I more then once wanted to ask the pops where his son is in shul and get in to a conversation. But held my self back. Not to say the wrong thing. Obviously the dad knows where the child should be, or maybe not. Or maybe he just can’t help it. He’s a nice guy, I always greet him and say how are you and that’s about it.
Then, recently, we have another divorcee on the block. And this is a women we are talking about. I have no clue who they are. And the history. But she ended up with a few boys. What can I tell you. My heart go’s out for them. They come in to Shul on their own take a Siddur and do not leave their seats until we finish Davening. I Do greet them. Even though I’m not sure if they know where I live. But I know it doesn’t matter. I do it because I want them to feel like they are noticed. They are not a fly on the wall. But I wish I could do more for them. The answr is maybe yes and maybe no. But a good word. A hello, good morning, good shabbos. will not insult anyone.