Avram, TLIK: It is no different than the “structural issue” that occurs when someone makes 30K a year with 12 children and can’t afford food. Does that person have the right to go into Yankel’s grocery and demand food (or start taking it from the shelves) without having to pay for it?
Chochom-ibber: Why should the financial burden be the responsibility of the Yeshivos vs. the parents? Bishlama a “community” school (eg. Hebrew Academy of Cleveland) which has achrayus to the community, but no yeshiva on the east coast (with perhaps 2-3 exceptions) places on itself such an achrayus.
Also, where would you draw the line? What if the wedding present was a Maserati?
Lior: That is very nice as a hypothetical. L’maase, teachers need to get paid, and the money has to come from somewhere. Instead of limiting children, parents could always home school their children and not have the “Magiah Li” attitude that they should get a service without having to pay for it. Or perhaps with your line of reasoning, you should give up your house to someone who needs it so that they can continue to have additional children? Who are you to stop anyone from having the space to have more children?
The little I know – The solution is home schooling. I am personally aware of families that take advantage of home schooling, and their children are no different than anyone else’s. Furthermore, they no longer have to deal with tuition committees, scrounging for cash and all of the other bizyonos and intrusions of privacy that come along with asking for a discount on services provided. Another possible solution that I mentioned earlier is to have the parent collect money for the yeshiva as their tuition.
P.S. Nebuch on the Yeshiva that won’t accept a Jewish Neshoma just because they went to public school for a year or two. On that I agree with you that the Yeshiva will be held responsible.