keep climbing,
Please read this!!!
I’m going to leave the real advice for those more experienced and mature than me. But I do have a few things I want to say.
1. Dont think you’re alone in this situation. Just reread this thread- numerous people have admitted that they used to be in your situation and now are leading successful lives. There is hope.
2. You need to realize that what you are going through is painful, but IT IS JUST A CHAPTER IN THE BOOK OF LIFE. I put that in caps lock because if you dont realize this, you will feel much unneeded pain. Yes, right now you may feel alone. But someday you will get through the tunnel, and will enjoy life.
3. Find a rebbi that you feel is a person you look up to, and aspire to be someday, and TALK. Connect. It wasn’t so long ago that the highlight of my day was the time i spent on the coffee room. After i summed up the courage to open up to a rebbetzin that i respect, things changed SO MUCH! Reach out, please.
4. Someday, you will think back to this awful period of time and thank Hashem for it. Hashem only tests you if He knows that you need it to reach your full potential. I know its hard to believe, but its true.
you are in my thoughts and prayers,
taom