Im so happy that you wrote in again! It sounds like youre really frusterated. On one hand you want to just move on and be in a good mood but at the sane time you feel pushed against a wall, like you cant help it.
I totally understand why youre scared to tell someone! Of course you dont want them to judge you! But realize that whatever feelings you have or whatever issues there are, doesn’t make you a loser or a bad person. Every single feeling is valid. Every. Single. One.
Youre a human being and therefore you have things that upset you. Thats normal. Whoever you would talk to has their own issues so they can’t look down on you but I do get why you think they would judge you.
Do you have anything in particular that youre looking foward to like going somewhere or doing something you really enjoy? Sometimes when you have such a thing it can give you the energy to get through the days.
As a side point, its important now when youre feeling down to eat energy rich food like whole grains and protein. Any kind of movement is great too. It doesnt have to be running an hour on the treadmill; it can be a walk or playing a sport.
Is it too painful for you to think about whatever issues youre referring to? If so, that could also be a reason why youre hesitating to tell someone.
Please keep me posted. I think about you all the time, seriously.