June 18, 2014 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm #1033675
@ the art of moi: height is a valid reason for low self esteem. There are many people like that. Everybody is quick to bash others problems without taking the time to realize that although it may seem like an insignificant problem to them, it can really be bothering that person. True its not enough to wish to grow alot overnight but its good to believe that hashem can give a person the strength to accept themself for the way they are.June 18, 2014 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm #1033676the-art-of-moiParticipant
What im trying to say is-
You need help. That is not good, and that is not bad. It is a FACT. I’m not gonna continue to support you like this if youre doing this to yourself. It’s hard to ask someone for help, but right now, that is what you’ve gotta do. Take responsibility for your life. I am telling you- you CAN do this! Hashem only tests you with things that you are strong enough to survive. I hope im not being too strong on you, i am only doing this because i genuinely care about you. This is what is called tough love.
taomJune 19, 2014 12:20 am at 12:20 am #1033677the-art-of-moiParticipant
I dont know how i missed the fact that you’re seeing a therapist. I apologize with all my heart. Do you forgive me?June 19, 2014 1:49 am at 1:49 am #1033678👑RebYidd23Participant
TAOM, the real issue is you seem to be a girl.June 19, 2014 2:54 am at 2:54 am #1033679
Yes, its very hard to say certain thoughts. And the worst part is that you know theyre unhealthy and self destructive but you feel you cant say it. Its a tough decision. But as hard as it is, its worth it in the long run. You want to have healthy relationships one day and in order to do that you need to help yourself now and learn to accept yourself. I would recommend practicing getting your thoughts and feelings out by writing them down. That will get it out of your system. More than anything, you need to believe that you can overcome this. Please tell your therapist everything! Its for you! Maybe before each session decide what youre going to say so you dont feel like youre divulging everything at once. I sympathize with you because I also go to a therapist and I know how hard it is to spill it all out. But theres such a feeling of relief afterwards… please do it. I know that youre capable of it. Please keep me updated.June 19, 2014 4:47 am at 4:47 am #1033680
I wanted to add something I read today.
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “how heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute its not a problem. If I hold it for an hour ill have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case the weight of the glass didnt change but the longer I hold it the heavier it becomes.”
She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about that for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel pwaralyzed- incapable of doing anything.”
Keep climbing, its time to give it all up no matter how much strength and courage it takes. Youll only become better from it. Try not to let your fear weigh you down and not allow you to do the right thing.June 19, 2014 10:29 pm at 10:29 pm #1033681
Any idea on how youre going to proceed?June 20, 2014 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #1033682
I hope everything is ok. Please make the right decision! Looking forward to hearing from you.June 22, 2014 6:41 am at 6:41 am #1033683RisingSun613Member
i know its hard but try to put yourself in new situation. nevermind, not try, FORCE yourself into new situations CONSTANTLY!, with new people, some you’ve never met before. maybe go to a different camp by yourself, YES BY YOURSELF, (or if you have to, one or two familiar faces) this will help you slowly but effectively get over the anxiety. you also dont have to be the most outgoing person, but like i said, put yourself out there! also, maybe try switching schools, this will give you a chance to start over (same with camp)- Shinui Makom Shinui Mazal. These are things that helped me get over the anxiety. i know this is hard and telling this to you may seem unfair, but i wouldnt dare tell anyone to do something as hard as this unless i have gone through it myself. I know the pain but i know its possible to overcome and overcoming it is VERY WELL WORTH IT! It will be hard and somewhat slow, but i can assure you this is one of the most effective ways! Hatzlacha! (keep us posted!)June 22, 2014 7:44 am at 7:44 am #1033684RisingSun613Member
One thing i forgot to add to my previous post: also try getting a job. It doesnt have to be something major but something small like tutoring, or teaching a hobby (piano, drawing… fill in the blank). you could make money off of your talents and things your good at. (for me, as a girl, im good at doing hair so i will charge people to do sheitles and hair or sometimes ill just do it as a chesed.) Or get a bunch of small jobs like working in a hebrew school on a sunday, or sub in an elementary school/day camp, volunteer at one random chai lifeline event, etc… do chesed. Take every opportunity you can! Dont be lazy! (not that im saying that you are) it all helps! Dont be lazy! (not that im saying that you are) it all helps! Like i said, put/force yourself in different (social) situations!
*btw, i hate using the word social because it sounds scary- trust me i know, but in essence thats what it is so just pretend its not there. but know that it is very necessary to expose yourself to the very thing that you are afraid of to overcome it. you can do it, i know you can. because if i did all this, so can you.
again, Hatzlacha and keep us posted!June 22, 2014 10:32 am at 10:32 am #1033685
thanks for the advice.I think your saying something very true and i will think about it.But i have to say that my anxiety HAS gotten better.Better but not where i want it yet.Thanks for all the advice everyone.June 22, 2014 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #1033686
Im so happy to hear that its gotten better. Please open up to your therapist or anyone else you feel you can trust and bring out whatever else is bothering you. Then youll feel so relieved when its taken care of and it won’t bog you down. Loads of luck!June 22, 2014 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #1033687To be or not to beMember
I dont agree with to be or not to be. Lets face facts:
what I meant to say was that from my experience, which I do have, people tend to view “problems” as permanent and have a harder time fixing “issues”. problems” means there is something wrong with the actual person , “issues” are more “outside-influenced in that they are usually more of a skewed perspective of outside factors. that’s how I view it and approaching it from the “issue” perspective generally is a better course of actionJune 23, 2014 3:24 am at 3:24 am #1033689
I wrote a post before but it never got published.I wrote that i hated my height.I truly do.Most girls are taller than me and thats embarresing!I get comment very rarely about my height but when i do my self esteem goes crashing down and I feel like the dust on the bottom of my shoes.I feel like im going to marry a nebach because of all of this.Its not even fair.What did i do wrong to deserve this horrible stature. I feel so inferior to everyone.Im always looking like a foot up to speak to people.Aside for that whole thing my anxiety was great today.I relized the more i put myself into the situation the easier it was.Also today i told myself that i loved myself for enduring all these tough challenges.I really felt it then.June 23, 2014 7:19 am at 7:19 am #1033690
Im reading your post at 3 in the morning because I cant sleep and now im so happy that I for sure wont be able to sleep!! Im so happy for you that youre coming to accept yourself and love yourself because of your challenges. Youre trying not to let them get you down and youre starting to see that thats whats shaping you and turning you into the person youll eventually become. Your height is part of a package deal. Any girl who will reject you because of your height isnt worth your time. You want someone who will love you regardless of your height. You want someone who will value you for you. For who are, for what you overcame, and for all your virtues. You wont marry a nebach because you don’t deserve that. There is someone out there in the world that is meant for you. And youll see that that person wont let your height get in the way of anything. Im sure you have so many strong points that can easily compensate for what you feel is a flaw. Can you try to believe that?June 23, 2014 8:40 pm at 8:40 pm #1033691cb1Member
Keep Climbing, I know exactly what your going through. My entire life up until i was 19/20 was pretty much the same as yours. I can guarantee that your not alone. There are many people who also have these same issues & you will get over them even though it may take a while. Its also very important to tell everything to your therapist & its definitely not easy. Believe it or not but he’s actually there to help.June 24, 2014 12:13 am at 12:13 am #1033692cb1Member
Something else that can help is going to a smart rav or rebbi that u can trust. I did go to therapy but my rav is what helped me the most. If u live in or near brooklyn I would recommend that u contact Rabbi Shmarya Modes. His entire life revolves around helping people. When I was first introduced to him, I knew right away that this is a guy who can be trusted & will help.June 24, 2014 1:18 am at 1:18 am #1033693
Thanks for the tips.I never had confidence in myself.Im a pretty talented guy.I can do alot of things.But i dont have the confidence in myself.I would love to get some but most of my thoughts are negative and insecure. But i want the other guys to think i have alot because im afraid of getting bullied.I need confidence. but HOW?June 24, 2014 5:47 am at 5:47 am #1033694
Here are some things I can think of. I hope they help.
1. List all your talents and good traits and read them over every day. Make them a part of you. This way, when someone attempts to knock you down, you have those things in the back of your mind and you can fall back on them.
2. Body language is really important. By appearing confident, youll eventually feel confident. Hold your head high, keep your back straight, and smile at someone when you make eye contact. Its also really important not to shy away from eye contact.
3. Know that youre entitled to your own opinions and that they do count. If someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean youre wrong!
4. Take risks. Be open to new situations even if they scare you so at least you know that you tried.
5. Set small goals and achieve them! It could be something that you need to change about yourself or something that youve been pushing off for a while. Make sure theyre doable. Youll feel so good about yourself when you accomplish that which you set out to do.
6. Exercise!! Thats my baby so yeh, im a really big advocate for that! Seriously, itll only do you good!
7. When someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. Accept it. Dont shrug it off by denying that youre worthy of praise.
Keep me posted please…June 24, 2014 12:37 pm at 12:37 pm #1033695
Thanks.what are thd goals that you want me to do?By the way have you ever seen rick lavois mashal with poker chips.If you didnt id suggest that you watch it.Right now i have a little poker chips.I want alot of them.I have to thbnk you so much for helping me through this difficult time buisness1 (and everyone else) Hashem should bentch you with a long happy healthy life.You dont know what it means not to feel so alone.Also i still think you should write a book.:)June 24, 2014 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm #1033696
Thanks.what are thd goals that you want me to do?By the way have you ever seen rick lavois mashal with poker chips.If you didnt id suggest that you watch it.Right now i have a little poker chips.I want alot of them.I have to thbnk you so much for helping me through this difficult time buisness1 (and everyone else) Hashem should bentch you with a long happy healthy life.You dont know what it means not to feel so alone.Also i still think you should write a book.:)June 24, 2014 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #1033697
Firstly, I just watched that mashal with poker chips and I love it!!! Its so brilliantly put together and so true. Being that apparently outside influences such as the other boys caused you to lose alot of poker chips youre trying to get them for yourself. Thats a lot harder than them being given to you. So I give you lots of credit for that. No matter how hard it may get, dont give up! You can certainly do it, I have absolutely no doubt. As for goals, pick something thats hard for you to do or something that you want to achieve. Look at the big picture first. Then break that into smaller goals. For example, lets say someone wants to work on having a more positive attitude. But that’s not something one can do from one day to the next. So first theyll work on appreciation. Theyll make sure to thank 5 people during the day for something. It can even be like holding a door open for them. They work on that for a week. Then they can work on smiling at someone they really cant stand and within a week theyll feel a little less like killing that person! Theyll feel like maybe that person isnt so bad after all. And so on… thanks for your bracha! Im so happy I could be there for you… and maybe one day I will write a book! Who knows!June 25, 2014 4:42 am at 4:42 am #1033698
Keep climbing, how was the day?June 29, 2014 4:54 am at 4:54 am #1033700
Haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope everythings ok…June 29, 2014 7:26 am at 7:26 am #1033701
Hi.Im doing okay.Theres a couple ups and a ton of downs.But with Hashems help it will get better and i also feel it will.By the way 2 things.1.underneath my name it says dont let nothing stand in your way which is from a avraham fried song.How did that get there? 2.I have alot of diffent insecurities what should i do to get rid of them?also whats the story behind the name buisness1?June 29, 2014 8:17 am at 8:17 am #1033702
Hey!I think your subtitle came from the moderators. About the ups and downs… I saw a cute quote on friday,”unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade will taste terrible.” Its so true because without those good times and steps up, life seems too hard to manage. So im happy there are some ups!
Some ideas I had about your insecurities. ..
1. Know that its invisible to other people. They probably dont notice because theyre too busy dealing with their own insecurities.
2. Avoid people you feel particularly insecure around. Those might be the people who are extremely critical of you or they, in general, are very negative about everything.
3. Dont compare yourself to other people!! This is a biggie because we all do it!! Don’t set your standards based on someone else’s.
4. If you know that youre particularly good at something, work to excel at that.
5. Try to think whats at the root of your insecurities. Are you scared of making a fool of yourself? Scared of disappointing someone like your parents?
Business1 comes from my first choice of what I want to do which is to get a business degree! Actually, at this point its kind of fluctuating between that and a few other options.
Now I have a question for you! How on earth do you have so much emunah?!?! I know I asked that already and im asking it again, maybe cuz im so dumbfounded. Ive been through plenty of my own challenges and for some reason this year it really came to a head.
Actually, last week before I went on the scale I made a deal with Hashem that if I lost weight ill daven for three days. I didnt daven for about a month. (Its taking forever to lose cuz I dont really have to lose. I have my own insecurities about that :)) so turns out that I lost 1 lb and I kept to my side of the deal and davened for three days. But it was hard. I didnt feel anything and now I dont know if ill continue.
Looking foward to hearing from you…June 30, 2014 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1033703
I just read this and thought of you. “The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”July 3, 2014 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #1033704
I sometimes get in a mood where i lose all my energy and the only thing i want to do is sleep.I was and still am a little in one of those moods.These moods can last for days even weeks.Now the reason i get into one of these moods is because i get a problem and i cant seem to fix it.But i dont tell anyone about them because im too scared that theyll judge me for having that issue.I want to be in a good mood but im realy scared to tell someone.Its not one issue.Alot of issues pull me down.I realy want to get out of this mood but i also dont want to tell anyone.where are my ups in life.Past few days have all been down.July 3, 2014 8:45 pm at 8:45 pm #1033705
Im so happy that you wrote in again! It sounds like youre really frusterated. On one hand you want to just move on and be in a good mood but at the sane time you feel pushed against a wall, like you cant help it.
I totally understand why youre scared to tell someone! Of course you dont want them to judge you! But realize that whatever feelings you have or whatever issues there are, doesn’t make you a loser or a bad person. Every single feeling is valid. Every. Single. One.
Youre a human being and therefore you have things that upset you. Thats normal. Whoever you would talk to has their own issues so they can’t look down on you but I do get why you think they would judge you.
Do you have anything in particular that youre looking foward to like going somewhere or doing something you really enjoy? Sometimes when you have such a thing it can give you the energy to get through the days.
As a side point, its important now when youre feeling down to eat energy rich food like whole grains and protein. Any kind of movement is great too. It doesnt have to be running an hour on the treadmill; it can be a walk or playing a sport.
Is it too painful for you to think about whatever issues youre referring to? If so, that could also be a reason why youre hesitating to tell someone.
Please keep me posted. I think about you all the time, seriously.July 4, 2014 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #1033706
I hope youre feeling better. Have a great shabbos!July 6, 2014 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #1033707
Why is it fair that I struggle so much in life and everyone else seems and also has a easier time.Im akwerd dont have a great personality.Im anxious weak and alot of other things.NOT FAIR.Thats what my life is.July 6, 2014 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #1033708
I dont know why things are the way they are. If only there wouldn’t be any suffering on this world. Unfortunately, there is.
Nobody goes through life without challenges. You never know what can happen in a person’s life. It may look easy now but it might not stay that way.
Why do you think you dont have a great personality? I dont know you but if I did I bet I would be able to find a minimum of five great things about you. A great personality isnt only the type where the person is always a ball of energy. Theres nothing wrong with someone whos on the quieter side. That could also be a great personality.
Dont give up!! Keep hoping and working at it. Thinking of you all the time. ..July 6, 2014 10:44 pm at 10:44 pm #1033711👑RebYidd23Participant
Everyone else is faking it.July 6, 2014 10:45 pm at 10:45 pm #1033712tzvigaMember
You have conversations in your head. That is the reason why you have social anxiety. The solution is not to force yourself not to have conversations. The solution is simply to focus your thoughts on what you see. If you are walking in the street then say to yourself – “Look, a tree”. Don’t start having a conversation with yourself. You are all wrapped up trying to figure things out in your mind and that will never help you. This will get you started on the road to healing. You will start feeling part of society and begin to open up relationships with people. I suggest you get a coach to help you along to make goals to open up more to people. Little by little you will change and be a powerhouse individual.July 6, 2014 10:52 pm at 10:52 pm #1033713fish4evrMember
Keep Climbing- I was reading this thread with interest and I hope that my insights can give you some Chizzuk.
I am average height but I am friends with a girl who is 4’9( currently married), have a sister in law who is 5’1, and best friends with a girl is 5’2( married as well)
What they all have in common is that their height does not define them in any shape or form…usually they just wear heels but they feel good wearing flats as well…
The way they look at it is: you have dark hair, I have light, you are tall, I am short…
I think it is much more difficult for men to be that short…but
let me tell you something I have neighbors- husband is 5’3, wife is 5’2….
They are the most charismatic charming couple I know! The husband is a rebi at a local kiruv organization and he leads an oneg shabbos every week! I can assure you that the guests are at least 5’8 and taller! They both have lots of happiness and personality and do not walk around feeling self conscious.
My point is that height does not and need not define your self worth! in fact people find it adorable when short people shine with their personalities. This doesn’t mean you have to be a loud person, or the life of the party, but it means that you don’t need to worry what others may think of your height!
Confidence is contagious and once you gain some, people will overlook the height think in matter of seconds!
Remember that you are awesome but the mere virtue that there is not a soul on the planet that is like you! you are unique in every way…your very DNA is nonidentical to anyone on this planet! You get to be what you want and more importantly remember that you don’t need everyone around you to like you for you to be happy. Alot of people make the mistake that they don’t feel good about themselves unless the whole class, office, or community loves them!
You can choose your own friends and develop close relationship with them…the rest of the people are irrelevant!July 7, 2014 5:25 am at 5:25 am #1033714
Thanks for all the advice. Its realy hard to accept myself the way I am.Height is also not my only issue,though i think its more than enogh to be someones only challenge.Thanks fish4evr.I realy appreciate that post but 5,1 for a girl is realy short but for a man thats midget size.Its not fair.I get so mad and upset against hashem for doing it to me.Plus all my other chalenges which are just as big.I dont know what hes gaining by doing all of this.(im crying right now,im pretty sensitive).Its just not fair.I wbnt to have enjoyable HEALTHY relationships and self worth/esteem/confidence but to get to that is impossible.And i will have to work harder than anyone else to get it.I have anxiety issues,social issues,emotional issues.Alot of people I see have it.Obviosly it could be fake but i doubt it that its that fake.What does hashem want from me?July 7, 2014 5:51 am at 5:51 am #1033715
So many questions and so few answers, right? I wonder all the time why Hashem does certain things and ive never gotten any answers. I guess that its part of life.
You sound so upset and sad. I dont know what to say to make you feel better so im sending a virtual hug through cyberspace.
Why do you say its impossible to get to the point where you could have healthy relationships and self esteem? Is it because you tried everything to achieve it and you didnt get the results you were hoping for? If so, thats so frustrating! But you need to keep on going and to keep trying. I know it seems as if youll never get there but hopefully one day you will. I know its hard but youre strong enough to do it, I promise.
Have a great night! Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day. Remember: here youre always safe. Were all here for you and cheering you on.July 7, 2014 5:56 am at 5:56 am #1033716jbaldy22Member
you would be surprised many people who I speak to have various emotional and psychological issues. Life for many is a struggle. I have a close family member who suffers from severe social anxiety so I definitely can understand where you are coming from. I am sure that you have worked hard to get where you are in life and I think you should recognize that. Hashem is aware of your struggles and obviously thinks you are a very capable person who is able to deal with issues that others are not capable of.
As far as the height issue goes I have about an inch taller than my wife and since my posture has never been the best we appear to be the same height. When she wears heels I look like a dwarf. It has never bothered her and does not bother me. Hashem works in ways that may seem strange to us and it could be that your height is a way to ensure that you have the right zivug. Most mefarshim hold that we have little if any control over our zivug at all.
I would suggest that you take a look at the book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. It is a fantastic book and it may help you.July 8, 2014 1:59 am at 1:59 am #1033717
Was today any better?July 11, 2014 4:05 am at 4:05 am #1033718
How are you?July 15, 2014 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #1033720
Im sorry for not writing in so long.But I dont really have anything to write about.My confidence is growing a little.I also relized that during conversations Im also allowed to talk.Usualy when I talk I talk realy quick but I started to enjoy when I speak and my conversations are so much less akwerd because I can talk about something.Thank you so much coffee room for giving me a lifeline when I need chizuk.July 15, 2014 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #1033721
Im so, so happy for you!!July 16, 2014 12:11 am at 12:11 am #1033722todahrabbaParticipant
Keep climbing, you’ll have some better days and some worse days. It’ll never feel perfect or exactly where you want to be.Focus on the better days and what you were able to accomplish and let it keep the momentum going. If you fall back, don’t let it get to you-it’s the yetzer hara trying to catch you and prevent you from growing. No one is focusing on you and your “issues” all day and thinking “so and so is a nebach.” If anything, they have their own issues and insecurities to worry about. We are created with a tzelem elokim, here to accomplish our tafkid and people are just that-people. People are only present around us to help us accomplish our tafkid in life.In the end, we can only rely on ourselves and Hashem. Helps put life into perspective: Really, we are all souls created by G-d and returned to G-d and we have a journey in this world surrounding people. We attach way more importance to them and what they think of us; and, in the end, only what G-d thinks of us really matters:)July 16, 2014 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #1033723BTGuyParticipant
Hatzlacha Rabbah! I dont want to share anything because I am afraid you will….I am afraid you may….What am I afraid of??July 17, 2014 3:47 am at 3:47 am #1033724brotherofursParticipant
WOW keep climbing I just wanna say I am getting so much nachat from reading this chat because I see how much Am Yisrael cares about one another and how everyone keeps checking up
On you and giving you great advice. We’re so lucky to be part of this unbelievable nation!
Some tips 🙂
– so I used to be petrified of talking on the phone. And it got to a point when I was scared to talk to my own sister (who I was BH close with) because I thought the conversation would be socially awkward….basically what helped me was making a list of things I could talk abt whether its my hs activities, college choice, a class I went to, or some new gadget I just bought) then I wasn’t so nervous to call the person cuz I knew if I couldn’t think of what to say next I could just glance at my list!
Pretty soon I didn’t even use the list anymore and it was just for helping me feel secure, and now I
Don’t use lists anymore unless I’m calling someone important that I never spoke to before, which makes me extra nervous, which I don’t mind 🙂
– another tip. My sister was having a hard time too with social anxiety. She feels like whatever she says is weird and awkward. She lost confidence in herself cuz she’s been in college for a longgg time and procrastinated her classes and is not passing a lot of them. What bothered me was she kept saying negative things abt Herself “I can’t study!” “I’m scared to talk to her” “I’m not good at this” “I hate the way I am” SO I decided this has to stop. Speech is powerful. I did a psychology experiment and to summarize basically boys had to take shots of basketball and first they took a few shots and got some in and then they repeated phrases like “I’m good at this game!” “I can do it” 5x and took more shots and got so much more in! It really works. My sister wrote down 5 positive phrases and I made her repeat it 5x until she was smiling and felt confident. It really helps,
Especially since my rabbi always taught me “with Judaism, you have to FAKE it till you MAKE it!” Meaning act like ur happy doing a mitzvah and pretty soon u will
Be. Or it could mean act like u love yourself and you’ll actually come to love urself. So know that there’s nothing wrong with “faking” we learn “betoch sheloh lishmah Ba lishma!”
Good luck with everything I wish u much beracha in the future. And remember instead of repeating in ur head and writing in cr that ur a loser and failure, say “I’m a winner and I am friendly and smart, and sensitive and kind!” And ull see how fast ur words will turn from “fake” to real 🙂July 25, 2014 3:38 am at 3:38 am #1033725
I’m feeling down think I have like four different disorders.why did I get this life.is hashem fair?July 25, 2014 4:14 am at 4:14 am #1033726C.I. BoyMember
Keep climbing- Just want to let you know that I know exactly what you are going through as I am going through the same things as you are now experiencing. The only difference is that I was born deaf (but now I can hear normally), so life is way harder for me unlike you.
I also don’t get why our lives has to be this way, I always wish that I can disappear and start again, learning from the mistakes I made in this lifetime. But I do know from rabbis I have spoken to, that Hashem has a mission for each of us, our lifestyle tailored to carry out the tafkid assigned to us.
Together, with faith,unity, and true friendship we can declare to our Commander-in Chief “Mission Accomplished!” and be rewarded with the arrival of Moshiach, and for the world to be united in REAL friendships. The kind of friends that we can always count on!
I am rooting for you! If you think that you don’t have any friends, bear in mind you DO have a friend (me) since I know what you are going through as I am personally.July 25, 2014 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #1033727
Its good to hear from you again although I feel bad about the way youre feeling.
Youre right that life seems unfair. Having 4 disorders definitely doesnt make anything better or easier.
Sometimes our expectations clash with reality. We have a vision of what we wish our lives to be like and when it doesnt turn out that way, we feel upset and disappointed.
However, once one accepts their situation, hes able to take action that will lead him to where he wants to be.
Have a great shabbos and try to stay strong!July 27, 2014 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1033728Shopping613 🌠Participant
I’m reading all this, and I SOOOO wish I could be a part of it…and give chizuk….I’m crying right now, I have so much emotions and feelings and things to say and I just don’t know how to put it into writing…
I doubt I have anything too add to any of these people…I’m younger than you…so ya.
I wish I could do something to help, I really, really do.
Keep strong. That’s what they tell me.
Sometimes, I wonder, what exactly IS being strong?
Is it not crying? Putting on a smile and pretending it’s Ok? Fighting back???
None. Being strong means to be able to understand your feeling and deal with them in some way where you aren’t either:
1) Going to sleep till it’s all over
2) An emotional wreck 24/7
It’s okay to break down, have panic attacks, and so on. I mean it’s not okay, but that’s your body releasing it’s emoitions.
With no support group or way to vent or express your feelings besides from here, I ‘d be surprised if you didn ‘t have a panic attack or break down at least once a week.
I do, and that’s okay, cuz Hashem knows, that I can deal with that, till my shaliach comes to teach me other methods.
I suggest something very simple and easy.But on the other hand very hard to do.
Think of something you like to do, if you can’t think of one, find one. Sports, writing, playing a musical instrument or drawing. It dosen’t matter, take that and express yourself through it.
For example, I’m a writer, I write songs, stories, articles, poems, journal, thoughts, to Hashem, To myself, questions…Anything!
When I feel so much things and everything is changing to something else or another feeling every second, I sit and write.
Ex: Q What are feeling?
than I think and write
A. ______, __________, and _______
Q. Why are you feeling that way? what triggered you to feel that way? How can you deal with this feeling? How can it bring you higher? help you improve? what can we learn from this situation, or what he said, or how I reacted? What can I work on? How can I make me better? How can I treat people in the future differently? How can I fix this? Can I call a hotline? Ask a rav, by phone, email, fax, or mail, or in person?
This is just a little of what I do.
You know yourself best.
Search yourself, find yourself, understand yourself.
No one can do that job for you.
I have found most answers lie in me, either I didn’t see them, and I had to think or didn’t want to admit them.
When people ask me, if my life is hard, when they hear something else has gone crazy in my life. I tell them.
Life wasn’t meant to be easy, then It would be boring wouldn’t it???? Than I usually laugh and walk away.
It’s Okay to be sad, it is. It’s okay to cry.
I know someone, she was born without the ability of tears. I feel so bad for her, she was born without the ability to feel, if she gets hurt, physically and emotioanally….an I daven, I daven.
I’m davening, for you, and for every other one in the CR….that all their problems, they should be able to handle and make them stronger.
And that Moshiach should come soon, that this should be the last Tishbiav….July 31, 2014 8:27 pm at 8:27 pm #1033729
I’m not doing well still.I’m notherwise happy with my life and find no enjoyment in living.even when there’s no bad feeling there is still no happiness.I find it extremely hard to tell my problems and difficulties with others .even if you wwould pay me a lot of money I still wouldn’t do it.I am really inverted so even a sshirt ssimple conversation knocks me out .I don’t know where to start or what to do to help myself in a way that’s possible.business1?
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