Just saw the reactions to my post and I am a tad surprised, but thats OK. One of the things I always liked about my posts is the many different levels on which they could be understood.
The attitudes here are endemic of the shidduch crisis. I have said all along that the crisis needs to be understood through game theory. At the center of the crisis are the “elites”, i.e. the 22-24 year old boys who want to learn and be supported, and the 19-21 year old girls who have been taught to be machshiv torah to the exclusion of all else and have a plan for parnassa. Everyone else falls into other categories. Yet it is common for the non-elites to insist on marrying elites, and to consider marrying someone in their own category to be “settling”. As we have here with a working man who is also the wrong age, who feels that he should be dating the same girls that the most elite boys date, and expects the shadchanim dealing with such boys to treat him the same.
The result is a profound lack of equilibrium, since the number of elites is obviously far less than the number of both elites and non-elites on the other side. A shadchan who wants to succeed has to focus on elites almost exclusively, since non-elites are barely sought after even by other non-elites. So it is not surprising that boys are the focus of shadchanim, because the criteria for elite boys is far more objective than for elite girls. Nor is it surprising when a boy identifies himself as non-elite and finds no one interested in him. It is not a reflection on him but on his society and his values.
Hence my comment to go after working girls. Non elites can win at this game by striving for their own equilibrium, i.e. by looking for non-elites and avoiding the channels that the OP is focusing on. Chasing the elite pool of girls is to his own detriment (not to mention that it directly worsens the shidduch crisis).
Since we’re naming theories these days, you can call this one the Squeaquilibrium Theory of the Shidduch Crisis. Maybe if I had named mine back in the beginning it would have gotten as much attention as the more infamous one.