Syag, once again, I really appreciate your chizuk! It’s really my dating experience that makes me despair more than anonymous posts… that is why I have an easier time relating to Logician’s perspective… But I am certainly not disregarding your comments! Just waiting to meet the real, authentic, frum male you speak of lol.
It’s frustrating on so many levels… My older brothers are all in kollel or are rebbeim and I share their hashkafos and value their lifestyle and wish to have Torah in my home as they do… (they have truly beautiful homes -i don’t mean in a physical sense!) But because I am female, I need to present big bucks in order to marry someone with those hashkafos… Not because the bochurim out there are selfish and greedy- but because if the guy’s gonna be learning, the money’s gotta come from somewhere! So i’ve gone out with guys that are learner-earners… but their hashkafos and midos are just not up to par with the ben Torah I want to lead my home… and as we keep discussing- it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t exist! This is just a frustrating tekufa in my life (and I’m sure in many other girls’ lives…) and hopefully one day I will look back and laugh for every feeling an ounce of despair…