But should you teach them that at the expense of teaching good middos and to not be power hungry and petty, and to not get upset when people don’t get upset when people don’t bow to youw whims, and to not use the Torah as a tool for achieving your selfish desires?
Of course not.
Perhaps a little balance?
Perhaps a lot.
And I will tell you how to teach him to obey Hashem. You obey Hashem.
That is #1. But there’s more.
I don’t think we’re disagreeing much about parenting here, but I see you as having jumped all over the OP and subsequent posters who think there’s an important part of chinuch called discipline, and that that was unfair. I think it’s fair to discuss discipline and obedience, and it doesnt have to mean to the exclusion of other forms of chinuch, and there is no reason to think that they all want obedience for selfish reasons.