I believe that it’s all relative…. I’m single and nearing my 22nd birthday, and although many of my friends are already purchasing double strollers, I do not consider myself to be old! However…. When my 19 year old co-workers (who were my campers a few years back) walk in sporting sheitels, I do feel old in a sense…
and when I see my co-workers who are in their mid-thirties and are still single, my perspective obviously changes….
As far as what is actually considered an “older” single, I can completely understand why someone in haifagirl’s place is offended by 23 being labeled as older! in my opinion, “older” is not before 25… Yet in defense of those 23 year olds, as young as they are in comparison to the singles in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond, they are also in a challenging position… Although they are young, have a whole life ahead of them, and should really just have a little “patience”, we should be mindful of the fact that they have been in shidduchim for the last 4-5 years. No, it hasn’t been 20 years. But every girl enters shidduchim with the same anxious butterflies and hope for their future… some marry the first guy, some get lots of dates, some get dates here and there, some go on dates every week and just can’t find the one, and some wait and wait by the silent phone for months- and then years… Each year that passes makes the heart a little heavier. These 23 year olds are not “old”, but they have spent the last 4-5 years attending vort after vort and wedding after wedding, 4-5 years of planning friends’ bridal showers, 4-5 years of frustration and heartache… eventually the questions of “when” turn into the question of “if” they’ll merit to meet their intended and start their own homes… bH, I am not personally feeling a sense of despair because believe that when the time is right for me, it will happen. but I do know girls that are in their young 20’s and are the only ones left of their circle of friends… and they are losing hope.
I am not trying to undermine the pain of haifagirl and others in her situation! I just want to point out that as new as us young ones are to this struggle, the struggle is still there, as is the fear of the unknown…
May all of klal yisroel be zoche to their personal yeshuos bmheira b’yomainu!