“who do kids think they are to ask this,no, EXPECT THIS, from her parents?”
You make it sound like these boys are making unreasonable demands. What is unreasonable about a boy saying “if you want me to learn (so that you can get schar), and therefore I can’t support my family because I’m busy learning; someone else will have to support the family.” It might be the wife or the parents or the in laws. But you can’t play both sides of the fence. If you want a learning boy then you’ll have to pay for it. And if you don’t want a learning boy then why are you reading this thread?