@Patur – 1.It is my money therefore my decision. 2. Let us not be naive to say that one cannot tell the difference between a benchwarmer and someone who is a real osek btorah. It is clear as day who a real learner is and one who is “doing time”.
I dont know how the problem starts but it continues when a boy will not want to even date a girl without getting a support committment for at least 5 years before going out one time.
Can I assume you are learning in yeshiva and are of marrigable age?