DaasYochid; Right – I was not asking a halachic question (at least I don’t think I was).
Actually, you were, and should definitely speak to an expert in hilchos loshon hora.
What I’m suggesting is that the caller wasn’t necessarily asking a halachic question. In other words, let’s say the caller’s standards are sub-halachic. If the girl has the same standards, then that’s really all the caller is asking for.
Again, that’s my opinion for the sake of discussion, but I think you need a psak on this.
Anyway, I think we will go with chanasara’s advice for now.
It might be sound advice, but I just want to point out that you initially rejected the idea. I quote from your OP:
“If she would have asked the caller what he’s looking for, or say that there are different standards of tznius, that would already raise a red flag.”