You need a therapist, not a rabbi. You need to find someone who will help you learn how to make your own decisions. You need to find a therapist who can help you explore why you allowed your rabbi to verbally abuse you and degrade you. I’m not at all implying it was your fault. Rather for you own good, you need to explore how you can protect yourself from being abused by others. You need someone to help you realize your own value, and what kind of marriage partner would be good for you. You need someone to help you believe in yourself and be confident in the decisions you make.
Find a therapist. Not a rabbi. Maybe Relief organization can direct you to find a therapist.