Suppose a woman really wants to put on tefillin in order to feel more connected to Hashem and feel more kedusha, is there something else that someone can suggest that would be equivalent to donning tefillin that doesn’t come along with such controversy? “
I have always believed strongly that women should connect to Hashem fully in the ways that THEY bring Kedusha into their homes,i.e., making Challah, licht benschen, and Taharas Hamishpacha. When they are 100% mekayemos these Mitzvos which were entrusted to them by Hashem, AND also raising the next generation of Torah-observant Jews properly, then I think they have room to seek further spiritual awareness, if they so choose.
The problem as I see it, typically is that so many of the women who claim to want to wear tefillin, daven by the Kosel in a Tallis (and disrupt the men standing there who have a CHIYUV to daven), and otherwise unnecessarily take upon themselves traditional male obligations, are NOT even remotely fulfilling basic Halacha as it is incumbent on women. If they were truly connected to Hashem in their own mandated mitzvos, they would likely not have the time to imitate men.
I am very thankful every morning when I say sheh asani kirtzono, that I was not born a man. I am thankful that when I was up half the night with a crying baby, that I did not have to go to shul in the morning, as my husband did, even though he might have also been up in the night with the baby at some point. I was profoundly grateful to have the privilege of bringing life into the world and then teaching my children how to make a bracha,say Krias Shema, help them with their homework, teach them how to prepare for Shabbos and yom tov, things which my husband did not have the time to do on a regular basis.
By the way, saying Tehillim is a beautiful way to connect further with Hashem. Doing chessed by visiting a shut in, or cooking for someone who has just had a baby, taking someone shopping with you because she can no longer drive, being a member of the Bikur Cholim that visit people in hospitals, are all things that we women can do, and on our own timetable, to boot. Is it really SO important to these women to put on Tefillin? Or is it simply their way of trying to make a statement?