“This is not an answer.”
It is called a rhetorical question for a reason. its answer is designed to start a thought process. Clearly the only thing you thought in response was that you got highly insulted because people dont take you seriously as a woman.
Everything else you wrote can be discussed with and addressed by someone who knows you well. I dont know you in the least bit, I dont know why
a)the things you currently do in your avodas hashem leave a void that needs to be filled. in fact
b)I dont know what you currently do or
c)how you currently do it or
d)why
these are things that you must discuss with someone who knows you. My rhetorical question was trying to point out the obvious. If someone truly believes in hashem, and wants to draw close to hashem and live his/her life according to the way hashem wants it and wants to have a real connection to hashem, then it is self understood that this person already understands that hashem is perfect and the path that he set out for people is perfect and if that is the case why are we looking to modify it in some way.
Torah Hashem Temimah, Meshivas Nafesh. You need someone to help you understand how to accomplish this in your life. It surely isnt me, and it likely isnt an anonymous person on this website either.