I’ll tell you what- I really don’t care what other people think my hashkafa is. I already have friends who wondered why I didn’t apply to BJJ and I have friends (as well as my eleventh-grade halacha teacher)who think that I’m halfway on the road to maharat-hood.
I want a place for myself, though, a place where I feel at home and where there is someone (SOMEONE!!!) who I can basically mostly (ish) agree with. I’m a hugely argumentative person but sometimes it’s actually nice not to need to fight things out. And then I think about things like- when I have my own family iyH what kind of school will I send my kids to? What kind of shul will I go to? Will I have any framework at all with people with whom I really belong?
I don’t care what other people label me- I just want to know where to go from here.
And PAA, I definitely agree with you-halfway- about being able to relate to more people this way- many of my friends who have stayed in the same community most of their lives find it hard to understand some things that others do, just because it’s not on their radar and because they’re used to a certain mindset. I know that I’m used to a lot of mental gymnastics as far as this is concerned so I feel somewhat less limited in that way and I find that it makes me more accepting IN GENERAL. However, I feel like because I don’t feel a specific kinship with any community, while I’m equally accepting, I’m likewise equally cynical…
oyyoyyoy: I can see your point but I don’t necessarily agree with it. I don’t feel the need to be a cookie cutter but finding a comfort zone is also important. After all, “o chevruta o metuta”- and having experienced the loneliness of friendlessness (in an environment) personally, I can tell you that a comfort zone is one of the most important things to have.