And PAA, I definitely agree with you-halfway-… However, I feel like because I don’t feel a specific kinship with any community, while I’m equally accepting, I’m likewise equally cynical…
Well I wrote “From a certain perspective it is advantageous to not belong to any group”. So I disagree with your statement that you agree with me half way. I would say that you agree with me full way – you just pointed out the other perspective. I actually originally pointed out the very point that you are making, but then I took it out of my post, though I’m not sure why. Maybe because I didn’t want to detract from the perspective which I was elucidating. Either way,
????? ?? ???? ??????(?) ?? (correct my dikduk if it’s wrong).
(The above was solely because I am a “hugely argumentative person”.)
On a more serious note, you raise some good points, especially about choosing a shul/school. I don’t know if there is any simple answer.* Unless you can find enough like-minded individuals. But I don’t know how likely that is – I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like-minded to me in real life. I understand the social aspect as well, but finding enough like-minded individuals to have friends shouldn’t be quite as hard as finding an entire school full of like-minded individuals.
*I would say to just look at all the schools and pick the one which seems the best overall, regardless of affiliation, but that might have some interesting results considering that your kids will probably getting mixed messages, and all the more so if you choose a shul in the same manner and end up with a modern school and yeshivish shul or vice versa. Oh well. There’s always home school. And home shul.