I don’t understand your explanation. Speaking to one’s own parents doesn’t do enough if they can’t give enough.
I don’t understand your response. If one is in need of money to get married, why are they relying on the other side to give it? Call me old-fashioned, but I hope you would agree that one should not pass up on an appropriate shidduch just because the other (male or female) side’s parents are not giving money to the couple?
If I was to be snarky, I would say that the couple (especially one that wants to remain in learning) should have Bitachon that Hashem will provide for them, and not go for a shidduch based on the shver’s bank account size (or have Bitachon in Shver). But I’m not going to be snarky, so I won’t say it.
🙂