“I know some people felt that girls should pay on dates because of….? So that they can show that the girl has money? So the girl can demonstrate her feminist side?”
I don’t know that girls should pay for dates, but they should give something. Make a picnic. Think of an idea for a date. When a person gives, they get invested in who they are giving to. It causes you to like people when you give to them. Taking produces malcontent and pickiness or just awkwardness. Also, the guys get simply exhausted from doing all the work, driving, hoping the girl likes his ideas. They get so tired from it they don’t have strength to get to know the girls.
In all my dating, there were just a few occasions where my dates did anything for me. One bought me a Danish. One actually invited me after the date for some food before my trip. One had some tickets to an event in the park. (Note, two of them were baalei teshuvah). I am forever grateful for these small gestures. They helped the shiduchim tremendously and helped me to feel like a human being.