Memo: you are clearly single….
1. “you might not understand but some people have to know if they made the right choice…”
If “getting your basheret” is to you the only way of knowing you made the right choice, then here is a mean secret… you will NEVER EVER know. Last I checked, prophecy went out of style 2,000+ years ago with the petira of chanaya mishoel and azarya.
2. “Some people think and don’t marry any guy they go out with.”
Actually, I would hope that is so for most people, not just some. I would just pray that the things people are thinking about are will “this person make a wonderful spouse for me and I for them”. “Will they be a great parent to our children”.
You know sensible questions like that, and not waste time guessing what was said in the heavens before they where born.
3. “If your happily married you would understand that marrying just any Joe wont work…he’s got to be_______whatever you felt you needed “
As I wrote before, you are clearly single. If you are happily married, you will realize that ongoing work to build, enhance, and improve the realtioship and home in any and every way possible is the key to being happily married. Of course, the more comptatible you are from the beginging the better the starting point is and perhaps will make the ongoing necessary work slightly slightly easier, but that’s all it is.
and here’s a secret. Most normal helathy people could have wonderful marriages with more than one person.
Of course once a person is married the attitdute should be this is THE one for me, but prior to getting engaged/married, that worry “is this person the ONE for me” is a tremendous hinderance to getting there.
NOT he’s got to be etc….