truth be told – Your questions are somewhat valid but, and this is not a knock on you, pointless. The Rambam writes that a person has absolute bechirah. His words are “Neidah sheMaaseh HoAdam beYad hoAdam, VeEin HKB”H Moishchoi…”. Yes, a person has the choice to do wrong or right. However, as Yosef said to his brothers: “Atem Chashavtem Olai RoAh, Elokim Chashova LeToiva”. This means that no matter what we decide to do, Hashem has a way of working it out in a way that works for Him. All we can do is our best. If one will now ask, once we know that we have the choices, how can Hashem possibly know what will choose so that He may work it out, the Rambam writes (and this is a p’sak Halacha) that this answer cannot be understood by human beings. What I am trying to say is that this whole thread about Bashert is kind of moot. Perhaps this is what you meant to say, truth be told. All we can do is make decisions for ourselves and weigh them to see whether they are right or wrong. After that, it is all up to HKB”H. As an example which keeps showing up: Should 2 people get divorced? Only of it is the right thing to do in your situation. But aren’t you supposed to try and work on your marriage? Yes. Divorce is a last resort 100%. You should not take it lightly. But rest assured that if Hashem wants your marriage to crumble, C”V, you could be doing everything right and He will find a way to make it happen. What this means is that we should stop trying to figure out Hashem’s plans and just worry about what we are doing in our own lives. If we don’t, then cases like the example I just gave can make us crazy. Oh, I can’t wait to hear the feedback on this 😉
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