It known that the Staipler said that in all of Lakewood onlt two people married their zivug rishon. So bashert doesn’t really play a roll.
You get married to someone you like, and as with everything in life, you learn on the road how to make your marriage successful. What worked in you parents home may not work for you, becasuse you are not your father and your wife is not your mother. So with trial and error (yes, there will be errors) we learn to perfect our marriages.