Lakewood moisdos
Enrollment Application
Instructions:
Questionnaire:
1. What is the status of your child currently
a. Yiddish speaking play-group
c. Still in pampers (younger than 6)
d. Still in pampers (older than 6)
e. Not born yet (right answer)
5. When was you last Din Toira?
a. Similac
c. Underwear
d. Phillips Screw Drivers
e. Squirrel traps + GPS (+ EZ pass tags only on motzei shabbos)
7. Which of the following is reason to take your car in to a mechanic?
a. 2 back tires fell off
c. Duct tape not holding wind-shield in place any more.
e. Chaveirim is sick and tired of coming out to me.
8. Do you ever not wear a hat in the following situations:
a. At shop-rite
b. While driving
c. While shoveling snow
d. While taking a shower (in Mikva)
9. In which of the following situations does your wife mow the lawn:
a. Always
b. Never
c. Only in her 9th month
d. The lawn needs to be mowed?
10. Do you shop at Yussis:
a. Only before Shabbos
b. Daily
c. Sushi only
d. Yussi is my shvoger
11. How much money does you shver have? How much can we expect from him at our annual Melave Malka drive? Was he ever honored by any moisdos before?
a. Always
b. Only for mishloiach monos
c. Thinking about it
d. Only between Pesach and Shvuos
e. Yoshon?
14. Which of the following is an acceptable excuse for missing second seder?
c. Need to do car-pool for the kids within 2 weeks after a snow-storm (still no buses)
d. Second seder?
15. Why should we consider accepting you into our moisad
b. My grand-father was a Ger (not chosid)
c. My grand-mother is half Russian
e. I gave the Mashgiach a ride back from a wedding once
16. Are you a Rochmonus? Please explain __________________
a. ____________
b. ____________
c. ____________
18. How would you like to receive your rejection notice? (Even if we accept you, you must go through the crucial rejection process)
a. By mail
b. By email ([email protected])
b. Aaniyei Eercha
c. Tehilim chain call fund (before 10pm only)
d. Keep it (my check would have bounced anyways)