One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a
cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…The next year, I
didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,”Well, you still
haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the rump
steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started…..
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But,
somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always
something more important to me. Finally she thought
of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I
watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came
out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When
you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep
the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always
have a limp.
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something
shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.” I
bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started……
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My wife was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really
need you to pay me a compliment.’ I replied, “Your
eyesight’s perfect.”
And then the fight started..