Siyag: I’m sorry that I made you feel bad. You don’t sound like the people I have a big problem with, so let me just clarify quickly. I know that it can be difficult to deal with people who are operating on an entirely different preception of the world than you are (I’ve been trying to figure that one out myself most of my life). I know that I myself have done things that were both dangerous and harmful in my life, and, at this point, I can appreciate how hard that must have been for my parents/teachers. Honestly, at the time I felt like I was in jail – like the only way to deal with, and get out of the torture of sensory and interaction overload was to react in sometimes extreme and harmful ways. Sometimes I would have such a strong interest in figuring something out that I would pursue it without thinking for a second how it might effect other people. Although my brother and I both become very anxious over things like table settings that are off center, that was never something that would lead to such an outburst for me. We both tended to just walk into the room and re-arrange, and my parents basically ignored it.
What I do have a problem with is the people who react to someone, particularly high functioning, on the specturm by trying to put them away in the ‘special education’ box. Many of us are very bright, and if we have learned to function without being a danger to ourselves and others, I do think it is the responsibility of teachers and parents and administrators to create an atmosphere in their schools were, if someone is a bit socially different, that’s okay – people can accept that, and teacher can deal with the occasional setbacks that might come from having these kids in their class. They’re just kids trying to do the best they can – and I wish that schools could make a bit more room in their classrooms and cultures to accomodate them. Many could grow up to make wonderful contributions to our society if society will accept them and not try and make them ‘normal’ before they’ll have a place.
What you are talking about seems to be a bit further down the specturm than what I described above. Clearly having an aggressive or self injurious individual in a regular classroom of 20+ kids isn’t a good idea. In reference to what you said, I have three things to say in response:
1) I don’t know the kids to whom you are referring. Therefore, I can’t possibly know exactly what the answer is to how you should deal with them.
2) What I have found for myself is that, where I used to engage in what might be considered SIBs, I found that the only way I could stop doing so was when I had something to do instead that could give me the same relief. That is where what I said about stimming above comes in. I don’t think you can take stimming away from most ASD people anymore than you can take talking away from ‘regular’ people without making them crazy. You therefore have to find stims that are socially appropriate (and safe!)and teach them as a replacement behavior (methods of teaching would vary depending on how high functioning the individual is – could just be suggesting, may also be DRA type of ABA program). I have found that in general, pen chewing, chewing gum, sucking on candy, swaying from foot to foot, shokeling when a book is opened in front of you, don’t get alot of comments and are certainly not harmful. Another thing that sometimes works to relieve stress is focusing all of your attention on one small subject or detail and tuning everything else out. It gives your brain time to cool off after trying to over-process, but most autistic people know that already.
3) One thing I notice, thinking back to all of the strange things (and occasionaly dangerous) that I have done over the course of my life thus far, is the fact that my parents somehow almost never yelled at me or lost their temper. Granted most people probably couldn’t do that, but they could. I remember one time wanting to know something about how rain flows down a hill, so in the middle of a thuderstorm I left the house and sat under a tree watching it (for a long time). When I came back home, my parents very calmly asked me where I had been, then explained to me that sitting under a tree during a thudnerstorm is dangerous (and exactly why it is), and told me that next time I should go on the porch and tell them first because they had been very worried and had almost called the police, because they didn’t know where I was. It took me time to adjust to their instructions, but they would just keep repeating them, always calmly, until I got it. I recently asked my father why he didn’t get upset/punish, etc. He told me that he figured that what I had done was already done, and there was no point in getting upset with it anymore. He knew that I hadn’t done it to make him upset, so he simply redirected me so I would know for next time.
I don’t know if that would work for everyone. There are some things that they had to repeat for years and years, and for which I sometimes had to suffer the natrual consequences because my parents didn’t create artificial ones. But in the end it both worked and gave me alot more independence and understanding for why I should and shouldn’t do things than didactic and disconnected rewards and punishments would have.